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Workpost 40: Refinement of the Game
Today I made some definite progress. Even though I have the exact same feeling of lack of motivation, no interest in working. Wanting to just play games, I felt significantly better, having done spleen chi exercises both before bed and after waking up in the morning. As a result I started working 3 hours earlier than yesterday.
Today, I want to improve upon and refine on the game that I created for myself yesterday.
Firstly, in my walking meditation this morning, some wisdom came to me.
Relaxed > Easy > Fast
This was the wisdom first introduced to me in the book, Born to Run where the author talks about how you run completely relaxed first. Then you make your running more smooth, more efficient. If you are able to make it efficient and relaxed, you WILL be fast.
This is the same thing in Valorant. In your warmups you aren’t instantly trying to one tap everyone. You aren’t trying to do it fast. If you do, you probably are going too fast and the warmup won’t work.
You want to start slow (or even in the Miyagi technique, don’t even follow through with a shot, just track the target). As it becomes easy for you to hit headtaps, then you start to gradually speed up.
I want to implement this in my warmups. First, start off doing intense workout with the aim of expansion. Then focus on some brainteasers (Miyagi, completely relaxed). After a few minutes of that, work on to do list, trying to make my relaxed thinking more efficient and clean. Finally, at the tail end of the warmup, try to go fast. My thoughts are:
- 5 min physical warmup
- 2 min brainteasers
- 5 min todolist
- 3 min buffer
Then for the actual match, I would like to break it up more often with some deep breathing every 5 minutes, like I do with Valorant between rounds.
I’m Afraid To Let Go
I’m Afraid To Let Go
One day you will see
How you were so focused
On self-soothing
On finding your comfort alone
You forget that you ignored
A man who loved you
For a game
So trivial
You may lose interest in the next month
For you, it’s a question of winning
Of being right or wrong
But for me
It’s a question of love
I wonder
If I have so little self-respect
To spend so much time
Money
Effort
To cheer you up
Just for you to go back to the game
And put me second
Or perhaps this is what love is
And I should keep believing
That you just need
More time
To see
That you can let yourself
Need me
Additional Thoughts on Affirmative Action and Personal Decision Making
The types of biases:
1. Cognitive Dissonance
2. Spotlight Effect
3. Anchoring Effect
4. The Halo Effect
5. Gambler’s Fallacy
6. Contrast Effect
7. Confirmation Bias
8. Baader-Meinhoff Phenomenon
9. Zeigarnik Effect
10. Paradox of Choice
More biases:
11. Survivorship Bias
12. Self Serving Bias
13. Fundamental Attribution Error
14. Hindsight Bias
15. Availability Bias
16. Availability Cascade
17. Sunk Cost Fallacy
18. Framing Effect
19. Clustering Illusion
20. Exponential Growth
21. Barnum Effect
Ideas for these biases:
- Create a selection process (for college, group or job)
- Use for cold hard thinking areas (stocks)
- Use in logic games (Valorant, Chess)
- Take advantage of bias to do careful marketing
Love and Hate
Love and Hate
Sometimes I hate her so much
I want to break everything in my house
Smash it to pieces
Hit her so hard
I can feel some sort of relief
In my heart
So angry
That she refuses to give me
The girl I’m so in love with
Instead
She makes herself hard to love
She thinks she is taking back control
That this is what confident people do
That she will somehow stop the pain
If she ruins everything first
She’s afraid
That she will disappoint me
She doesn’t know
That she was enough
That even in my anger
All I wanted
Was to get her back
That I love her
And I chose her for a reason
She doesn’t know
All her pushing me away
Makes me so angry
Makes me so sad
Scared
Tired
Tired of being forced to ask myself again
If she is worth it
Tired of feeling doubt
When I already know
That she is the one
Workpost 32: The Power of Belief
I saw this anime recapped last night and I felt it was really inspiring. It was about a guy who needs to create an unprofitable company in order to win money in a game. But in not fearing failure and instead trying to embrace it, he found it hard to not succeed. Obviously this is fiction, and people would find it easy to fail in real life, but there is a part of this that rings true for me.
When you aren’t afraid of failure, it is hard to stave off success. Everything is about having a strong mindset.
Today I want to just focus on the main ideas I said in my previous post:
- You’re in my house
- Take time, be patient
- Be ok with silence
- Take risks
- Anything is possible
What I Want My Job To Be
I think a lot of people have it wrong when they look to people for guidance. We look for the rich, the successful, the types of people who made a million dollars and are now flaunting it with expensive cars, watches, and parties, and beautiful women almost saying, “you want this? I can show you how to get it”.
But the truth is that no one wants that, even though they think they might want it. People want to know the truth of things. They want to know how to live, how to love, and how to lose. They want to learn how to see beauty, find joy and feel sadness. They want to find meaning, feel like they are special, and that they are exploring the world like we did when we were kids. There is nothing wrong with money, but it was once just a tool, and now it has become the goal.
The people who got the closest to the answer are not businessmen, but artists. Is it not the music of musicians, the books of authors, the paintings or painters, and the films of filmmakers that are often the most profound teachers of life?
This is why I’ve always sought creation, youtube, and art out much more than success. This is why creators like Mr. Beast (though more well meaning than some creators disgust me with their materialism).
I’ve decided that THIS is the job I want. I want the hard job of creating. Creating art, music, writing, and videos. Creating something that will help people reach the deep ideas in life, but also simplify things to the sensations we feel and guide us back to being kids in the present moment.
I’ve always felt like some things in life feel like a damn waste of time. I always wonder what work is worth doing for me, something that I feel I was meant to do, and what feels not worth it for me.
I always knew it was understanding life, working through my traumas and understanding how to make life magic. But I never was so clear on what the work was.
I want to serve as more than just an artist but a speaker, a coach, someone who can explain the art in logical and easily understandable ways. I don’t want to be studying to be a coach. I want to be studying life, living it, exploring it, touching it. I want my coaching to be a collaboration in the enterprise of spreading this practice of understanding deeper truths in life and finding true purpose. The kind of purpose you feel when you hear a song you love, the kind of clarity when you read something profound.
And when I get money. Lots of money. I will just continue to create. Organizations, experiences, works of art.
Elements of my enterprise:
- Creating art coloring life (comics, paintings, writings, etc.)
- Live streaming/videos on creation/techniques/challenges/stories
- Discussing works of art that color life
- Creating guides on how to live/succeed/understand
- Speaking on practical topics/problems/challenges
- Coaching on developing color in life
- Creating events that color life
*When I say “color life”, I mean the feeling of deep conversations, connecting with childlike wonder, being in the moment and feeling the feelings, being spontaneous, taking risks, and finding silence and simplicity. But why explain it? Listen to it down below.