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Valorant 42: Chaining Kills
A new mentality that I’ve been working with is the idea of chaining kills.
- Come up with a play that I want to go for (util, direction, etc.)
- Go for not a single kill, but a multikill
- Expect more than one
- Have a gameplan for getting not one, but 5 kills
It is interesting that taking the offensive makes you much better at being confident. Also, expecting multiple attackers and working on killing as many as possible makes it a lot harder for people to catch you with a trade.
Artistic Life Challenge
I don’t really know much about what I want from this challenge yet just so as to say that there was a part of my life when I felt really connected to visual art. I used to draw all the time, I used to think about ideas for paintings and dream of illustrating children’s books and graphic novels.
A part of me is still excited by those things but for whatever reason, maybe it was going to a school without passionate artists, maybe it was pushing myself to be more logical and working in logical STEM fields for years, or maybe it was just a part of growing up – I lost touch with art somewhere along the way.
The challenge is simple but difficult to define. I will have succeeded if I feel that I am meeting my need to be creative and finding that joy, wonder, and creativity in my life again like I did when I was younger.
I will try to express the feelings through a poem:
Anything Was Possible
Anything was possible back then
And by anything I don’t mean that I ever dreamed of anything as boring as a seven-figure salery
I felt the worlds of magic at my fingertips
The rush and pull of sorcery
A great clash between good and evil
And a bond between friends, unwavering
Of great courage and great sacrifice
I think now
In what my younger self could have only described
As old age
30 years old is practically ancient
I know that the only way I can do this challenge
Is not through an arbitrary goal or metric
But rather it has to be a portal to another world
A graphic novel
Like I always wanted
Or an illustrated book
It doesn’t matter
Because it is the world that matters
The world that I can escape to
Like the little mouse hole my six year old self would crawl into
To read frog and toad books at the library
Perhaps this has all come full circle after all
Because 30 years old is precisely the age
My younger self would expect to be the time
When people stopped being readers
And started being writers
The creators of the worlds
Like the ones I used to like to escape to
When I was young
It’s actually both fantastic and sad that it took a poem for me to understand what my focus will be for my art challenge. I think I will rename this challenge. I wanted to find myself reinspired by art, and I forget how art inspired me in the first place – by entering and creating other worlds.
This will now be known as the “The Other World” challenge and I will dedicate a year to it.
One year to develop another world that I can dive into, be comforted by, and be lost in.
That means by October 9th, 2024 I will endeavor to have created a miracle. Shaped and molded a whole new universe out of words, images, and maybe even music.
I’m excited because I thought this challenge was going to be like the rest of them, so difficult and challenging. I thought it was going to be about doing Inktober and drawing for an art competition. I realize now that those goals are meaningless to me, and using them as goals, made me feel directionless in art.
This feels more true to my love for art. I remember crying to my girlfriend today about a beautiful book I read when I was young, called the Power of Un. It was a world that I fell into, just like all the others. It was all these worlds that made me feel excited for life. And it is the absence of these worlds that have left me feeling like some part of me was lost and never quite found.
Valorant 27: Confidence
I’ve been thinking more about confidence in Valorant and it actually made me think a lot more about what makes confidence. I originally was interested in how to multitask because I thought that was what would make me stronger in Valorant, but I wasn’t able to find any useful information on it.
I ended up searching multitasking in sports, and I was specifically in interested in the basketball videos when they talked about confidence.
The first video was this:
Ideas:
- Confidence is not about positive or negative thinking
- There are two ways of thinking
- Logically and analytically
- Intuitively
- Confidence is about trusting the second type of thinking
- Timing cannot be thought
Ideas:
- People often rely on outside sources of confidence
- Success
- External Validation
- Comparing ourselves with others
- These outside sources of validation are not reliable
- Confidence comes from being able to trust yourself
- Trustworthiness is from people who follow a code
- Ex: Warrior code “no man left behind” (inspires confidence in your unit because other people won’t leave you behind)
- Ex: Courage over success, valuing courage over failure or success validation
- Code must be specific and have specific actions you take to fulfill it
- Mantras can be helpful
So as they say in the video to do, I am writing down the things I use for confidence in Valorant:
- Success – high KDA, increasing elo
- Comparison – high KDA compared to others, higher rank
- Knowledge and practice – learning techniques and practicing them
- Performance – being able to predict moves, hitting my shots
What I admire in other players:
- Clarity in thinking
- Creative plays
- Fast reactions
- Precise mechanics
- Boldness/confidence
I’ll take each of these a step further to draft out my code. I’m going to see if I can break down what I make each of these things mean:
- I make success mean that I’m smart that I’m special
- I make comparison mean that I’m special, that I’m a valuable or worthy person
- I make knowledge and practice mean I’m smart and that I deserve to be heard
- I make performance mean that I’m special and I’m capable
For the second list:
- I make clarity mean that someone is smart
- I make creativity mean intelligence, specialness, worthy of love and admiration
- I make fast reactions means someone is attractive
- Precise mechanics I make it mean someone is capable, valuable and worth a lot
- Boldness and confidence I make it mean someone is valuable and special
To think about it further my code might need to address:
- Inner value – what is valuable about myself
- Inner specialness – what do I think is special about myself
- Inner love and admiration – what do I love and admire about myself
- Inner capability – what makes myself capable
I don’t really know what my code can be but one aspect that keeps coming up for all of these things are valuing feelings and focusing on radical permission.
Those are two things that I feel make me unique, I value myself and are a way to find freedom and give myself love and admiration.
I suppose I can also focus on the challenge in life, the idea of courage or challenge over success is something else that I admire about value about myself. Deep thinking, letting the answer of hard questions come to me as well.
The ways that I could act out this code in Valorant:
- Check in to how I’m feeling
- Vocalize my feelings
- Check in to how others are feeling
- Let the energy carry action
- Let the plan form in my mind
- Create a challenge at the start of every round
Workpost 18: Addicted
I’ve been playing pokemon go so much recently. I’ve made a lot of progress in the game, but I really worry that I’m getting addicted because of how stressed out I am right now.
I stressed out about my relationship and about my career path moving forward. I want to make sure that work does not take over my life and that it stays aligned to what I want to do moving forward.
Every time I feel stressed, I reach for the pokemon go. Holy shit, I am addicted.
I feel very tired, but no longer sick. That is a good thing at least.
I’m going to walk around the airport. And this time, instead of catching pokemon, I am going to meditate and think.
On the plane I meditated on some of my issues and I came to a big realization. The first step to feeling or processing any pain is to notice and name the pain that exists. I spend so much time avoiding thinking about painful emotions or experiences, avoiding thinking about how things hurt me it makes it hard to face the pain at all since I’m not taking the first step,
I want to focus on doing that more now as the first step to processing more emotions.
Sova Fanart 9: Final Stretch Unit One
UNIT ONE: Finish drawings that are close
So before I even started using the syllabus method for challenges, I drew a bunch of drawings:
I want to focus on the Sova portrait study first as I feel it is quite close to a finished product. I can post it on reddit as my sort of test.
The main issue I’m contending with, is how to make it an awesome poster. I feel that it requires some sort of lettering. So I found the Valorant font here: Valorant Font | dafont.com
Here are my main steps. (45 min recommendation)
Unit One: Find the design
Unit Two: Complete the painting
Unit Three: Liquify any strangeness
The steps I actually ended up following:
- Make everything grayscale
- Add font and play with scale until everything felt right
- Added colors
- Liquified face until proportions feel good
- Refined painting
Bedtime Challenge 4: The Marathon
I just came up with a sort of solution for the issue of continuing a healthy sleep cycle while ending the challenge.
It is sparked by something my dad said to me. He told me that life is a marathon not a short race. You have to think of things in the longterm in order to stay healthy.
I was thinking about this because I have a technique I use when I need to do something that takes time and patience. For example, if I feel antsy while working at the gym, I ask myself, “when will this be over?” and I start looking at the clock and feeling impatient.
I address with a technique that I call the Forever method. It’s called the forever method because I answer that question with “imagine it will go on forever”. And not in a bad way. In a way that is comforting. This is your new life…and I can let go of figuring out how to rush onto the next thing. I can just focus on the present moment, and focus on doing the movements in a way that I CAN do it forever. That means with good form, without pushing myself too hard.
I realized I can think about life the same way:
- Bedtime that I can sustain forever
- Working hours that I can sustain forever
- Eating in a way that I can sustain forever
This makes a lot of sense for maintaining boundaries. Often we tell ourselves, oh, I will just bear this insult for today, I will just work a little harder today. But in those situations, we are violating our own boundaries. Which means we will build up resentment. It is NOT something you can sustain forever.
So as I close out this challenge, I plan to live in a way that will enable me to live forever.