I recently had a situation at work where I felt like I needed to set some boundaries. In order to get more strategies on how to do it, I went with my trusty expert Thais Gibson, who I feel is the absolute best when it comes to coming up with scripts and strategies with processing feelings, dealing with attachment styles and setting and enforcing boundaries.
Taking what Thais says in this video and adding in my own knowledge, I have come up with the follow step process for setting boundaries.
Rage pad: write down or record yourself saying everything you want to say to the person. This gives permission to anger and allows you to process it.
Determine whether or not a boundary was crossed, and if so, what specific one?
Try to empathize as to why that boundary was crossed
Communicate in this format:
Communicate in the positive the boundary violation (what they did, not what they didn’t do). <Insert empathy> At the same time, this is not acceptable under any circumstances.
Explain what you want instead
If repeated violations, add in consequences
Make it really obvious to the person what is going on.
I originally thought about using the thumbnails as a way to create worlds with drawing in almost taking a children’s book approach using it to create the sort of imagination, curiousity, and creativity I always aim to create in my artwork.
On second thought I feel I need to photos for my thumnails for the most part. Creative photos that have mystery and intrigue and magic and emotion. But photos not just drawings.
I was looking at children’s book covers for inspiration and I realized that when I see a beautiful children’s book cover, I expect the inside to be filled with those beautiful illustrations.
I want the cover to be a photo to something related to what is in the video so that there people get the world that they are looking for inside the “pages” of my video. The thumbnail is like a cover for a book.
I’ve been thinking so long about the fear of failure and embracing pain since the fear of failure holds me back in almost every area of life.
David Goggins is famous for being someone who has made his thing embracing pain.
It’s interesting because I always wrote people like Goggins off, and I still feel like he is missing the subtle touch, the emotional and artistic, but I actually think he is onto something,
Some of the main takeaways:
Embracing showing how messed up you are don’t care what anyone thinks
Everyone is messed up, if they are judging you, they are just better at hiding it than you
Use every naysayer as motivation
When you embrace your faults, you will find the who you really are and pursue that
Self discipline is creating self respect
This self discipline thing has always been interesting to me because I’ve heard this before. But I don’t really understand it. Isn’t discipline yelling at yourself?
The embracing failures and not hiding your failures to see what you really want to be is really telling to me as well. I always wonder what I should do, but I can wonder what I could do. And being willing to show everything wrong with me just will get me closer to clarity on who I am.
My first day of meditating and brainstorming ideas for my coaching.
UNIT ONE: Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month | Create plans
Here are my initial ideas:
Do a strengths assessment (maybe something inspired by other strengths assessments such as Clifton strengths, Myers Briggs, DISC or Enneagram)
Do a values assessment (similar to strengths assessment)
Do a ikigai assessment?
Do an assessment on how well balanced in different areas of life
Create an agreement document
Look up some of the documents from my coaching with John Polestra
Agreements, assessments, and my own goals structures
Networking
Social media experts?
Network with other clients
Sales people
People who have a band?
Create a meditation shortcut
Dedicate a significant amount of time (time = results)
Act like it is forever
Live in the land of sensations
Be patient
Create method for capturing thoughts from coaching session
Breakthroughs
Million dollar issues
Emotions
Needs
Sparks of inspiration
I would want to hire the following coach
Intelligent
Warm, loving
Insightful and deep
I wonder what it takes to be that loving person. I feel that I need to enjoy life, and go on more adventures. Perhaps I need to be more accepting myself. All I know is that practicing some sort of radical acceptance and understanding towards myself and my clients, being vulnerable and loving is worth $1000 per month in itself. That takes a lot of work and I’m not entirely sure what I need to do next. I feel a bit stumped to be honest, but I suppose that is something I can meditate on more tomorrow.
So I’m pretty frustrated because this is the second time I am writing this blog post. The first time I wrote this blog post, the post was bugging out and didn’t save properly.
Not too happy about that.
In the spirit of growth, I am going to let go of that blog post and focus on creating an entirely new one without losing the essence of what I wanted to say in the first one I wrote.
This morning I was feeling really stressed out and I was really enjoying my walk. I feel like this whole questions meditations thing has really worked out. I really like journaling at night, and walking during the day. Before when I was forcing myself to go outside because I felt like I had to, I kinda hated it. It was nice once I got outside, but before then it was pretty awful.
Now, since I know I’m going use the time to meditate on some of the questions I have in my heart, I feel really excited and motivated to go outside in the morning.
Here are the main things I was stressed out about this morning:
My career, didn’t know where I was going next
My medical bills, spent 8k on a new medical device, hundreds more for my GI doctor
My financial issues, I spent 700 more than I made yesterday
My coaching career, still not anywhere close to making enough money to be self sufficient
I could move back home, but then I’m worried about having a place for my girlfriend to visit me
And through my amazing short 20 minute walk, here are the answers I got:
Acknowledge that you are taking a huge risk by paying 1,700 per month on rent with very little income and building coaching business from 0
Risk is not a bad thing, it is an incredible catalyst for growth
Risk means, now is the time to shine. Focus on the few things that matter most
Building an really strong foundation of health, a very strong structure for getting stuff done
Changing the lives of my current coaching clients
Work slowly towards my career in AI
It’s ok to invest money in the medical bills because they directly help with my foundational health goal. Double down on the investment by focusing a lot on sleep and digestion.
Let go of all other goals and distractions because now is go time. Just work on small projects or really gradual work.
Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:
Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
Should I do coaching again?
Should I continue therapy?
And all the worrying stressful sub questions:
What about the money for jiujitsu
Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?
And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!
If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.
Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.
P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.
I saw an ad on Facebook. It was talking about making money as an introvert and making money without giving up your inner peace.
I immediately signed up. It was about 20 dollars.
Now I have done a bunch of the exercises for the prework of the challenge and here are my reflections.
Some major questions that I have right now:
What am I willing to give up and how will I go about giving it up?
How do I live my values every day in a way that is in flow and not forced or mechanical?
I have some initial ideas.
First, I was thinking originally about what I wanted to give up in terms of things like YouTube, or socializing. But recently it made a lot more sense for me to think about time. Specifically, I wanted to dedicate my entire morning to succeeding at these goals.
From the time I wake up, I usually am doing what JT Franco calls “buffalo brain” (the idea of being one of the herd that moves without thinking). I listen to audiobooks, and watch YouTube videos. I don’t eat breakfast or drink water. I keep the blinds closed. I feel awful and I don’t feel the feelings.
Someone once said (might be Melinda Gates) that the first few hours of the day are the most important because they set the stage for the entire day to come. If I want to give up anything, I want to give up my mornings to getting up, drinking water, feeling my body, and going downstairs into the lounge to write on my blog and work on achieving my dreams.
Middle of the day has to be reserved for work and for talking to my girlfriend. End of the day has to be reserved for me time. Being alone, taking time, creating art, and letting the magic of nighttime take over.
This is what I’m thinking roughly:
7/8 AM – 9/10 AM: Dedicated to living the magical life
9/10 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to doing the impossible at work
12 PM – 1/2 PM: Lunch, meditation
1/2 PM – 5 PM: Work, performing at the highest levels
5 PM – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
During the weekend, work will be removed, leaving more time for dedication to my magical life. I think it will look something like this:
7/8 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to living the magical life
12pm – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
With this balance, it seems that my breakdown is this:
Weekday
1-3 hours per day on living magical life
5-7 hours of work
4 hours of alone-time/play
2 hours of miscellaneous time
Weekend
4-5 hours per day on living magical life
4 hours of alone-time/play
7 hours of miscellaneous time
I suspect, I will have to do careful planning during the weekend, in order to perform at the absolute highest levels of work and potentially spend less time there.
In terms of living out my beliefs of empathy, intuition/following feelings, creativity/imagination, and honesty. I’m not entirely sure what actions I need to take to feel that I am in congruence with my values.
My main thought right now is about taking risks, breathing through difficult emotions and sensations, and following connection theory.
I originally thought about using the thumbnails as a way to create worlds with drawing in almost taking a children’s book approach using it to create the sort of imagination, curiousity, and creativity I always aim to create in my artwork.
On second thought I feel I need to photos for my thumnails for the most part. Creative photos that have mystery and intrigue and magic and emotion. But photos not just drawings.
I was looking at children’s book covers for inspiration and I realized that when I see a beautiful children’s book cover, I expect the inside to be filled with those beautiful illustrations.
I want the cover to be a photo to something related to what is in the video so that there people get the world that they are looking for inside the “pages” of my video. The thumbnail is like a cover for a book.
I’ve been thinking so long about the fear of failure and embracing pain since the fear of failure holds me back in almost every area of life.
David Goggins is famous for being someone who has made his thing embracing pain.
It’s interesting because I always wrote people like Goggins off, and I still feel like he is missing the subtle touch, the emotional and artistic, but I actually think he is onto something,
Some of the main takeaways:
Embracing showing how messed up you are don’t care what anyone thinks
Everyone is messed up, if they are judging you, they are just better at hiding it than you
Use every naysayer as motivation
When you embrace your faults, you will find the who you really are and pursue that
Self discipline is creating self respect
This self discipline thing has always been interesting to me because I’ve heard this before. But I don’t really understand it. Isn’t discipline yelling at yourself?
The embracing failures and not hiding your failures to see what you really want to be is really telling to me as well. I always wonder what I should do, but I can wonder what I could do. And being willing to show everything wrong with me just will get me closer to clarity on who I am.
My first day of meditating and brainstorming ideas for my coaching.
UNIT ONE: Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month | Create plans
Here are my initial ideas:
Do a strengths assessment (maybe something inspired by other strengths assessments such as Clifton strengths, Myers Briggs, DISC or Enneagram)
Do a values assessment (similar to strengths assessment)
Do a ikigai assessment?
Do an assessment on how well balanced in different areas of life
Create an agreement document
Look up some of the documents from my coaching with John Polestra
Agreements, assessments, and my own goals structures
Networking
Social media experts?
Network with other clients
Sales people
People who have a band?
Create a meditation shortcut
Dedicate a significant amount of time (time = results)
Act like it is forever
Live in the land of sensations
Be patient
Create method for capturing thoughts from coaching session
Breakthroughs
Million dollar issues
Emotions
Needs
Sparks of inspiration
I would want to hire the following coach
Intelligent
Warm, loving
Insightful and deep
I wonder what it takes to be that loving person. I feel that I need to enjoy life, and go on more adventures. Perhaps I need to be more accepting myself. All I know is that practicing some sort of radical acceptance and understanding towards myself and my clients, being vulnerable and loving is worth $1000 per month in itself. That takes a lot of work and I’m not entirely sure what I need to do next. I feel a bit stumped to be honest, but I suppose that is something I can meditate on more tomorrow.
So I’m pretty frustrated because this is the second time I am writing this blog post. The first time I wrote this blog post, the post was bugging out and didn’t save properly.
Not too happy about that.
In the spirit of growth, I am going to let go of that blog post and focus on creating an entirely new one without losing the essence of what I wanted to say in the first one I wrote.
This morning I was feeling really stressed out and I was really enjoying my walk. I feel like this whole questions meditations thing has really worked out. I really like journaling at night, and walking during the day. Before when I was forcing myself to go outside because I felt like I had to, I kinda hated it. It was nice once I got outside, but before then it was pretty awful.
Now, since I know I’m going use the time to meditate on some of the questions I have in my heart, I feel really excited and motivated to go outside in the morning.
Here are the main things I was stressed out about this morning:
My career, didn’t know where I was going next
My medical bills, spent 8k on a new medical device, hundreds more for my GI doctor
My financial issues, I spent 700 more than I made yesterday
My coaching career, still not anywhere close to making enough money to be self sufficient
I could move back home, but then I’m worried about having a place for my girlfriend to visit me
And through my amazing short 20 minute walk, here are the answers I got:
Acknowledge that you are taking a huge risk by paying 1,700 per month on rent with very little income and building coaching business from 0
Risk is not a bad thing, it is an incredible catalyst for growth
Risk means, now is the time to shine. Focus on the few things that matter most
Building an really strong foundation of health, a very strong structure for getting stuff done
Changing the lives of my current coaching clients
Work slowly towards my career in AI
It’s ok to invest money in the medical bills because they directly help with my foundational health goal. Double down on the investment by focusing a lot on sleep and digestion.
Let go of all other goals and distractions because now is go time. Just work on small projects or really gradual work.
Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:
Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
Should I do coaching again?
Should I continue therapy?
And all the worrying stressful sub questions:
What about the money for jiujitsu
Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?
And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!
If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.
Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.
P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.
I saw an ad on Facebook. It was talking about making money as an introvert and making money without giving up your inner peace.
I immediately signed up. It was about 20 dollars.
Now I have done a bunch of the exercises for the prework of the challenge and here are my reflections.
Some major questions that I have right now:
What am I willing to give up and how will I go about giving it up?
How do I live my values every day in a way that is in flow and not forced or mechanical?
I have some initial ideas.
First, I was thinking originally about what I wanted to give up in terms of things like YouTube, or socializing. But recently it made a lot more sense for me to think about time. Specifically, I wanted to dedicate my entire morning to succeeding at these goals.
From the time I wake up, I usually am doing what JT Franco calls “buffalo brain” (the idea of being one of the herd that moves without thinking). I listen to audiobooks, and watch YouTube videos. I don’t eat breakfast or drink water. I keep the blinds closed. I feel awful and I don’t feel the feelings.
Someone once said (might be Melinda Gates) that the first few hours of the day are the most important because they set the stage for the entire day to come. If I want to give up anything, I want to give up my mornings to getting up, drinking water, feeling my body, and going downstairs into the lounge to write on my blog and work on achieving my dreams.
Middle of the day has to be reserved for work and for talking to my girlfriend. End of the day has to be reserved for me time. Being alone, taking time, creating art, and letting the magic of nighttime take over.
This is what I’m thinking roughly:
7/8 AM – 9/10 AM: Dedicated to living the magical life
9/10 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to doing the impossible at work
12 PM – 1/2 PM: Lunch, meditation
1/2 PM – 5 PM: Work, performing at the highest levels
5 PM – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
During the weekend, work will be removed, leaving more time for dedication to my magical life. I think it will look something like this:
7/8 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to living the magical life
12pm – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
With this balance, it seems that my breakdown is this:
Weekday
1-3 hours per day on living magical life
5-7 hours of work
4 hours of alone-time/play
2 hours of miscellaneous time
Weekend
4-5 hours per day on living magical life
4 hours of alone-time/play
7 hours of miscellaneous time
I suspect, I will have to do careful planning during the weekend, in order to perform at the absolute highest levels of work and potentially spend less time there.
In terms of living out my beliefs of empathy, intuition/following feelings, creativity/imagination, and honesty. I’m not entirely sure what actions I need to take to feel that I am in congruence with my values.
My main thought right now is about taking risks, breathing through difficult emotions and sensations, and following connection theory.
I originally thought about using the thumbnails as a way to create worlds with drawing in almost taking a children’s book approach using it to create the sort of imagination, curiousity, and creativity I always aim to create in my artwork.
On second thought I feel I need to photos for my thumnails for the most part. Creative photos that have mystery and intrigue and magic and emotion. But photos not just drawings.
I was looking at children’s book covers for inspiration and I realized that when I see a beautiful children’s book cover, I expect the inside to be filled with those beautiful illustrations.
I want the cover to be a photo to something related to what is in the video so that there people get the world that they are looking for inside the “pages” of my video. The thumbnail is like a cover for a book.
I’ve been thinking so long about the fear of failure and embracing pain since the fear of failure holds me back in almost every area of life.
David Goggins is famous for being someone who has made his thing embracing pain.
It’s interesting because I always wrote people like Goggins off, and I still feel like he is missing the subtle touch, the emotional and artistic, but I actually think he is onto something,
Some of the main takeaways:
Embracing showing how messed up you are don’t care what anyone thinks
Everyone is messed up, if they are judging you, they are just better at hiding it than you
Use every naysayer as motivation
When you embrace your faults, you will find the who you really are and pursue that
Self discipline is creating self respect
This self discipline thing has always been interesting to me because I’ve heard this before. But I don’t really understand it. Isn’t discipline yelling at yourself?
The embracing failures and not hiding your failures to see what you really want to be is really telling to me as well. I always wonder what I should do, but I can wonder what I could do. And being willing to show everything wrong with me just will get me closer to clarity on who I am.
My first day of meditating and brainstorming ideas for my coaching.
UNIT ONE: Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month | Create plans
Here are my initial ideas:
Do a strengths assessment (maybe something inspired by other strengths assessments such as Clifton strengths, Myers Briggs, DISC or Enneagram)
Do a values assessment (similar to strengths assessment)
Do a ikigai assessment?
Do an assessment on how well balanced in different areas of life
Create an agreement document
Look up some of the documents from my coaching with John Polestra
Agreements, assessments, and my own goals structures
Networking
Social media experts?
Network with other clients
Sales people
People who have a band?
Create a meditation shortcut
Dedicate a significant amount of time (time = results)
Act like it is forever
Live in the land of sensations
Be patient
Create method for capturing thoughts from coaching session
Breakthroughs
Million dollar issues
Emotions
Needs
Sparks of inspiration
I would want to hire the following coach
Intelligent
Warm, loving
Insightful and deep
I wonder what it takes to be that loving person. I feel that I need to enjoy life, and go on more adventures. Perhaps I need to be more accepting myself. All I know is that practicing some sort of radical acceptance and understanding towards myself and my clients, being vulnerable and loving is worth $1000 per month in itself. That takes a lot of work and I’m not entirely sure what I need to do next. I feel a bit stumped to be honest, but I suppose that is something I can meditate on more tomorrow.
So I’m pretty frustrated because this is the second time I am writing this blog post. The first time I wrote this blog post, the post was bugging out and didn’t save properly.
Not too happy about that.
In the spirit of growth, I am going to let go of that blog post and focus on creating an entirely new one without losing the essence of what I wanted to say in the first one I wrote.
This morning I was feeling really stressed out and I was really enjoying my walk. I feel like this whole questions meditations thing has really worked out. I really like journaling at night, and walking during the day. Before when I was forcing myself to go outside because I felt like I had to, I kinda hated it. It was nice once I got outside, but before then it was pretty awful.
Now, since I know I’m going use the time to meditate on some of the questions I have in my heart, I feel really excited and motivated to go outside in the morning.
Here are the main things I was stressed out about this morning:
My career, didn’t know where I was going next
My medical bills, spent 8k on a new medical device, hundreds more for my GI doctor
My financial issues, I spent 700 more than I made yesterday
My coaching career, still not anywhere close to making enough money to be self sufficient
I could move back home, but then I’m worried about having a place for my girlfriend to visit me
And through my amazing short 20 minute walk, here are the answers I got:
Acknowledge that you are taking a huge risk by paying 1,700 per month on rent with very little income and building coaching business from 0
Risk is not a bad thing, it is an incredible catalyst for growth
Risk means, now is the time to shine. Focus on the few things that matter most
Building an really strong foundation of health, a very strong structure for getting stuff done
Changing the lives of my current coaching clients
Work slowly towards my career in AI
It’s ok to invest money in the medical bills because they directly help with my foundational health goal. Double down on the investment by focusing a lot on sleep and digestion.
Let go of all other goals and distractions because now is go time. Just work on small projects or really gradual work.
Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:
Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
Should I do coaching again?
Should I continue therapy?
And all the worrying stressful sub questions:
What about the money for jiujitsu
Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?
And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!
If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.
Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.
P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.
I saw an ad on Facebook. It was talking about making money as an introvert and making money without giving up your inner peace.
I immediately signed up. It was about 20 dollars.
Now I have done a bunch of the exercises for the prework of the challenge and here are my reflections.
Some major questions that I have right now:
What am I willing to give up and how will I go about giving it up?
How do I live my values every day in a way that is in flow and not forced or mechanical?
I have some initial ideas.
First, I was thinking originally about what I wanted to give up in terms of things like YouTube, or socializing. But recently it made a lot more sense for me to think about time. Specifically, I wanted to dedicate my entire morning to succeeding at these goals.
From the time I wake up, I usually am doing what JT Franco calls “buffalo brain” (the idea of being one of the herd that moves without thinking). I listen to audiobooks, and watch YouTube videos. I don’t eat breakfast or drink water. I keep the blinds closed. I feel awful and I don’t feel the feelings.
Someone once said (might be Melinda Gates) that the first few hours of the day are the most important because they set the stage for the entire day to come. If I want to give up anything, I want to give up my mornings to getting up, drinking water, feeling my body, and going downstairs into the lounge to write on my blog and work on achieving my dreams.
Middle of the day has to be reserved for work and for talking to my girlfriend. End of the day has to be reserved for me time. Being alone, taking time, creating art, and letting the magic of nighttime take over.
This is what I’m thinking roughly:
7/8 AM – 9/10 AM: Dedicated to living the magical life
9/10 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to doing the impossible at work
12 PM – 1/2 PM: Lunch, meditation
1/2 PM – 5 PM: Work, performing at the highest levels
5 PM – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
During the weekend, work will be removed, leaving more time for dedication to my magical life. I think it will look something like this:
7/8 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to living the magical life
12pm – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
With this balance, it seems that my breakdown is this:
Weekday
1-3 hours per day on living magical life
5-7 hours of work
4 hours of alone-time/play
2 hours of miscellaneous time
Weekend
4-5 hours per day on living magical life
4 hours of alone-time/play
7 hours of miscellaneous time
I suspect, I will have to do careful planning during the weekend, in order to perform at the absolute highest levels of work and potentially spend less time there.
In terms of living out my beliefs of empathy, intuition/following feelings, creativity/imagination, and honesty. I’m not entirely sure what actions I need to take to feel that I am in congruence with my values.
My main thought right now is about taking risks, breathing through difficult emotions and sensations, and following connection theory.
