AI Consulting – Day 1/21

Byjack

Some more thoughts about my brand for AI Consulting:

  1. I want it to have a Youth Venture feel
    • Anything is possible
    • Warm and supportive and inspiring community
  2. I want to incorporate these ethe:
    • Never compromise on your vision
    • Move humanity forwards
    • Be science fiction (either in philosophy or technology or both)
  3. Inspiring thoughts:
    • Make every business like a Youth Venture business
      • Social enterprise
      • Founders feel purpose in what they do
      • Dream big, prioritize vision
    • Ship fire manual
      • AI that pushed the limit of what is possible
      • Creates our science fiction

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Workpost 19: Rejection

Byjack

I am slowly getting back into things. After completely messing up my bedtime, getting it back, getting sick, losing my bedtime again, I am finally getting back into the swing of things.

I want to refocus on the things that I set out to focus on: Health, AI Consulting, Art Coaching.

I want to have an 11-12 PM bedtime, journaling at night, morning walking meditation, and morning todo list and blog post.

Today on my morning walk I contemplated rejection.

You know I always felt that working on yourself made you more prepared for life in general and I always felt my fear of rejection was holding me back from a lot of things in life, initially from getting a girlfriend, but later from being a life coach.

Recently I had the experience of meeting with a client for a free session for which they were super impressed by but when I sent them my rates, they did not respond. This immediately triggered the rejection wounds within me. I also just had an artist interview who was late to our conversation, did not agree to the full hour, and did not want to schedule another time to complete our conversation which triggered rejection wounds within me.

I feel scared that if I ask for things, people will reject me. I’m afraid it will be awkward to talk to them afterwards, I’m afraid how others will view me after getting rejected.

This morning I came up with a couple of nuggets to handle and process rejection:

  1. Take up space: there is a part of me that wants to hide when people reject me. I want to take up as little space as possible. This concept is doing the opposite. I deserve to be here like everyone else. Take up space! Make the ask!
  2. Enthusiastic yes: I don’t want people to feel pressured. I am going to follow the philosophy on the Prosperous Coach. It’s either an enthusiastic yes, or its a no. Maybe is a no. And tell them that. If they are not sure, they know where to find you.
  3. Slow down: I realized this new revelation in Valorant has implications in life too. When I feel stressed about rejection and awkwardness, shame, and judgement, slow down. I usually try to speed up, to move past it. Slow way down, focus on what is going on before charging ahead.
  4. Stay busy, focus on the process not the outcome: one thing that I noticed, when I’m busy doing what matters, I won’t care as much about anything else. I want to focus on health, coaching and consulting. Don’t let anyone’s rejection take away from that. It’s like what they say about cold calling. Focus on the process, not the outcomes (focus on improving your process for cold calling, not for the outcome of every call).

Workpost 58: Feeling out of time

Byjack

Recently I’ve been feeling immense pressure with the sensation that I’m somehow running out of time.

I feel a lot of frustration and anger in my chest.

I feel like I have no time anymore to work on the projects, and making progress in my own WordPress. I feel burning rage and frustration in my chest and stomach.

It might be the I am out of control wound.

I’m really angry at myself for procrastinating and not being able to get anything done.

Today I did come up with a really cool idea for an AI benchmark for:

  1. Creative writing
  2. Problem solving
  3. Research
  4. Contracts

I also feel overwhelmed. I feel like there is so much work to do, I don’t know where to start. I am overwhelmed. I am not able to deal with it.

I have a lot of projects I’m working on and it is scary to feel that I don’t know how to handle that.

I feel pressure because there are all difficult challenges that are important to me.

I failed big at succeeding in them…I’m so proud of myself!

This is a good thing. To fail big is to learn big.

The lessons are slowly being revealed.

The first question is…what did I need when I was in the overwhelmed state?

Well, I needed to feel the feelings, to be ok with just processing first.

After feeling the feelings to the fullest, what I need next is to find the courage in myself to face the challenge. To remember that I’m capable of anything.

And after feeling embracing the challenge, thinking tactically how I want to face it, and specifically, what small steps I want to take.

I want to take everything that I know as a small task and add it to my todolist. We will start there.

Matches: Let’s Go Again

Byjack

I have a new structure I want to propose for my matches.

  • 5 mins – pregame win conditions (set my win conditions for the match)
  • 15 mins – warmup
  • 40 mins – the match itself
  • postgame eval (see how close I am to my win conditions)

Match 1

Objectives: Go through todo list and work list for anything quick and get it done or make progress

Win conditions:

  1. Speed: how quickly I make decisions and make progress (percentile)
  2. Precision: how accurate my decisions are (percentile)
  3. Ease: how rejuvenated and relaxed I feel (1-5)
  4. Innovation: how creative and efficient “smart” my solutions are (percentile)

Post match review:

I went through the tasks pretty fast and I was left trying to find more work to do. I thought some tasks were super tedious and it makes sense why I didn’t want to do them. I did experience some stress from the sheer speed I was going at and some breaks might have been nice.

  1. Speed: 65% percentile, fast but not crazy
  2. Precision: 65% percentile, accurate but nothing crazy
  3. Ease: 2 I honestly feel kinda tired, maybe no breaks
  4. Innovation: 20% percentile, not really innovative at all

I haven’t figure out a way to do the process of downloading statements faster before I started. I didn’t think particularly much about the upwork post before I did it. One thing I learned is a little of prep might go a long way also, some breaks can help.

Workpost 38: Time Off

Byjack

Today I feel mentally and physically drained. I went to bed at 3 AM last night. I feel defeated, anxious, and sad about my relationship. I keep asking myself what it means to own a startup, what it means to be in charge. I think what it means is to be able to take a day off if you need to.

Let’s take a look at some of the different areas of my life right now:

STARTUP

  1. I’m disappointed in both the effectiveness and efficiency with customer projects as well as the level of sales outreach.
  2. I feel disconnected from my partner with quite a bit of friction, feeling that there is always a barrier to do what I want to do.

What might be the next steps?

  1. Identify areas my partner is strong in to involve him more on things I need help with
  2. Identify areas I feel strongly I should lead and take more leadership in that area

LIFE

  1. I’m a bit stagnated on my todo list
  2. My life systems for food and exersise are seeing big wins
  3. Huge desire to get more sleep

What might be my next steps?

  1. Fallout during the day only for leveling up people
  2. Netflix and long fallout sessions at night in bed
  3. To do list cleaning/grooming on fridays

COACHING

  1. I’ve stopped completely
  2. Undecided on whether to work on my own art projects or continue coaching
  3. I want to work on my youtube channel and an art group

What might be my next steps?

  1. Finish artist interview challenge
  2. Outreach for potential clients

RELATIONSHIP

  1. I feel misunderstood a lot, mismatching values, too much physical distance
  2. I love my girlfriend very much

What might be next steps?

  1. Journal more on the painful feelings
  2. Use them to grow and understand myself better

Workpost 69: Getting More Work Done

Byjack

One of the most recent realizations is that Valorant is meeting my need for significance maybe in a narcissistic way.

One of the ways that I can fulfill my needs and move on to getting more work done is by reassuring myself that even if I’m not getting better, even if I don’t win I am worthy, I am ok.

Today I really want to focus on getting all the contract work done but also visiting non-profits and getting more information about them.

If I can, I also want to be in good shape for jiujitsu and will probably need a bit of napping to get there.

Something else I was thinking about watching some podcasts about fighters today, when I go to jiujitsu, I go to learn and be really good at grappling and self-defense, but that’s not really my focus right now.

I’m really focused on my businesses, and in order to stay focused, I want to focus everything in my life on that.

This means jiujitsu is less about being good at grappling or fighting, but much more about being healthy, relieving stress, and getting a break from the computer.

I’m feeling kinda shitty right now trying to get past the lack of sleep I got today.

What I’m going to start out with is going to a nice place to work and get the basics done, then try to go to the gym and take a nap when I can relax my body enough.

After that, I’ll consider creating a focus for the day on what I want to complete.

Today I would like to work on my personal website.

I want it to reflect all the things that it represents for me:

  1. My workspace – messy creative space for me to work through things, sort of like akimbo
  2. A place that mirrors my coaching
    • Welcome to my house
    • Be patient
    • Take risks
    • Be ok with silence
  3. A workspace – sort of like profit in peace
  4. My way to be myself in a public way
    • If people stay, it helps me, if people leave, it helps me
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Workpost 31: On an Adventure

Byjack

I feel like I’m on an adventure, even though I am only 40 minutes away from my apartment in Austin. I am in the city of Leander, northwest of Austin and I’m feeling a bit tired but excited about the solar eclipse today.

I’m in the library and I feel at home but also lonely. I think there is something about being in close proximity to books that remind me of my childhood and about daydreaming and reading about people’s lives and wanting to find close friends and conquer the world.

I feel lonely, and I wish it was easier to connect with others.

The library reminds me of elementary school when everything was pretty simple. If you wanted to be friends with people, you just became friends with them.

I’m feeling really tired because I didn’t go to bed very early last night. I also think the sleeping appliance and my sleep mask are not things I’m used to sleeping with so I don’t sleep as well with them.

I’m focusing on recentering on my house, and that anything is possible in my house.

Today there is a solar eclipse, and I’m excited for that. Maybe I will read a book really quick, then get some work done and drive over to watch the eclipse from this really cool park nearby.