I’ve finally gotten my business cards done! I’m pretty happy about that.
The main thing to do next is to make some money today.
I was to focus primarily on making fast money, at least 300 today.
Other than that, I want to think about my next step in my plan – which is making videos.
Finally, I think my final potential goal for today is to call some active retired individual retreats and see if I can teach a class there.
It was really easy to write in my notebook about my AI game.
Perhaps it will get harder when I actually try to code it.
I came up with the basic architectures.
Super Basic MVP Stack
Production Stack
I also came up with a bunch of mini challenges that will help me get to the Basic MVP done.
Goals for the MVP are:
Mini Challenges for MVP:
Later development challenges:
Writing all this down I’ve come up with two steps moving forward:
I’ve done it. I hit the wall of sinking dread, exhaustion, and boredom in this project.
I don’t want to create a DND game focused on storytelling with AI. AI just isn’t good enough, masterful enough, creative enough to create a rich world.
I want to focus on creating a game similar to the games I always wanted to create, focused on strategy and cool mechanics based in a system that allows for infinite creativity.
I need to create a system that builds a reality, not tells a story, and lets the player interface with it in a seamless way.
That means I’m adding a challenge:
Also, I take back what I said, I can make a game on LLMs that tells a story, even though the thought of it makes me queasy in my chest for some reason.
I have then the challenges related to storywriting:
Goals: I really want to feel less shitty and tired and I want to come up with a direction for my podcast edit and how I can edit it in 40 minutes or less.
Here are the metrics for scoring:
My plan for my warmup is just for go for a long 15 minute walk.
Plan for work session:
UNIT ONE: Analyze video (10 min)
UNIT TWO: Process/look at other ideas (10 min)
Going all in on Judy Blume masterclass video:
As soon as you tell me I can’t do something,
I’m going to do it.
I hope that in sharing with you what
I’ve learned over 50 years of writing that it will help
you find your way as a writer.
As a 12-year-old, I was obsessed by the idea of growing
breasts and getting my period.
But there was no place that I could read about it.
When I started to write, I was determined to be honest.
So I’m going to share with you the practical side of writing.
There’s nothing more important than character.
You’re living with these people for years.
You had better feel for them.
Do some exercises.
Have your character write a letter to you.
The first draft is pure torture for me.
I hate every second of it.
I have a messy mind, and my writing
is a process of cleaning up the mess,
then slowly making a story.
I will be able to show that to you.
I got a particularly nasty review once.
It got to me, and I took my typewriter,
and I held it over this arroyo.
And I was going to throw it in.
I thought I cannot do this anymore.
And then this little voice went off in my head.
Wait, you’re going to let this one review stop you
from writing?
That’s crazy!
That’s one opinion.
I enjoy finding and supporting new writers,
and this is a chance for me to reach more of you.
I always ask myself, why would anyone
write if they didn’t have to?
I mean it’s so hard.
So this is for all of you who feel that you have to.
I’m Judy Blume, and this is my Master Class.
Something really special about Danuta and unique about her personality, show don’t tell.
*Beeroll on books and images from life, maybe emotional points of interview
Some sort of intro to talk about what this is about (maybe introduction)
Something about how she gets started with creative process, or something about art or creativity.
Walk through the step by step creative process
*Images or animation if possible
Talk about a challenging emotional experience
Resolution if possible
Deeper philosophical point
End
UNIT THREE: Create plan for actual editing (currently thinking one short, one long) (10 min)
UNIT ONE: Gathering clips
UNIT TWO: Gathering broll
UNIT THREE: Compositing
Bonus time: shot list
Bonus time: animation thoughts
Trying out pencil 2d!
Postmatch Review:
Overall, this was very fun and rejuvenated my love for editing and video.
Goals: I want to be excited about this video edit, feel satisfied, while boosting my confidence in pushing out videos faster with less effort
Here are the metrics for scoring:
My plan for my warmup is to hype myself up – play music, tell friends etc. + motivation.
Clean, write on my board.
UNIT ONE: Gathering clips (10 minutes)
UNIT TWO: Gathering broll
UNIT THREE: Compositing
Postmatch Review:
Goals: I was right that the last match did not finish the process of editing. It was just too much. But I did make REALLY good progress. The only problem is, it’s not ME enough. This last challenge, I want to get the edit done, and I want to inject some Jack magic into it.
Metrics for scoring:
For my warmup, I’m going to watch a bunch of my videos.
Ok the warmup didn’t work, I’m gonna play some nice music and meditate. Me is goofy, profound, soft, and emotional.
UNIT ONE: Compostiting
UNIT TWO: MEify
UNIT THREE: Finalize
Postmatch Review: It ended up taking two hours. I’m tired now!
| AI Gaming | Art Coaching | |
|---|---|---|
| Ideal Place | Quiet with cool game posters that give me inspiration | Somewhere warm and comfy and inviting. Traveling, in the library, Craft, or Sa-Ten |
| Ideal Tools | Multiple monitors, clear file structure, keyboard, notebook | Sketchbook, drawing tablet on laptop and phone, clear file structure |
| Ideal Warmup | Minigame, blog post, writing ideas in notebook | Inktober prompts, art instagram posts, blog post working out some sketch ideas |
To-do list
Results
I feel exhausted. My head feels numb. I feel hot and tired. My back aches.
My heart feels heavy. I feel angry at myself. So helpless. My mind in a fog.
My apartment is a mess. I just want to cry.
I can’t work. I just play games all day long. my eyes feel tired.
It’s 2 o’clock in the morning. All I want to do is eat and play video games. The pull is so strong in my heart like there is a strand of honey getting pulled.
I feel a numb panic deep in my chest. I’m afraid of failure. I’m scared I will disappoint myself and everyone around me. Pushing myself to make my business cards is only making me curl up even harder.
It was a long week. I’m exhausted. But the work just keeps coming.
I guess I can cancel tai chi tomorrow. Sleep in.
Tonight I can clean my apartment until I feel more peaceful.
I know I can use the gym as a way to process emotions, but I don’t use it.
I feel this pull, this overwhelm, like the honey being pulled, from my heart.
I’m capable of anything. Even rising from this challenge. This is important because as I get more successful, there will be days I feel exhausted, and in those moments, I need to find a way to find balance, to find peace.
I also want to learn to embrace failure. Failure is so scary to me. There is an image in my mind of my business cards being a complete disappointment and I feel a pit in my heart. A horrible amaturish website I’m not proud of and I can’t fix it.
Everyone starts somewhere. Everyone starts at the beginning. The people who are exceptional, who are savants are not people who started at the middle. They are people who enjoyed the beginning.
But how can I enjoy this? I feel so scared it won’t be good.
Makes me think of this video:
In this video, Jesse talks about how play allows us to feel pressure while still being able to learn.
That fun is the key to this.
But what is the key to fun? What would make this fun for me, regardless of the outcome, what would make designing and drawing fun for me?
What would make it an infinite game, not just a finite game focused on an end goal?
It’s true, the thought of designing business cards does not sound fun to me at all. It sounds like a slog. But maybe that’s because I’m worried about failing.
Ok, what if I tried to merge my painterly style with “woodcut” style prints. What if I created a new drawing technique that I could use to create cool stuff for friends and to sell as products?
That definitely sounds more like play to me.
So what about going to the gym, because I like it so much when I actually go, but I find it hard to go to begin with.
What if I saw it as supercharging myself – which it really is doing. Whether I go to lift weights or just to hang from the bar and stretch it really is building my body up to full potential. It might even solve my sleep problems.
And what about sleep, why do I not want to go to bed? Because if I go to bed, tomorrow, I wake up with tons of problems. Well maybe, that’s not a bad thing. Maybe before I go to bed, I fill my to do list with questions that I want to search out the answers to.
Here are the questions I have today, that if I knew the answers to I would rest easy:
I also figured out why I have troubling making a coaching website and why it felt so wrong. It had pricing and generic things on it.
I want my funnel to be an homage to my mission and vision, which is to foster the creation of more artistic masterpieces. So I want my website to have a feeling of magic, of the way Harry Potter felt when he was got his invitation letter to the Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. I want to remind myself of the feeling of reading children’s books. I want the website to be an homage to dreams, creating worlds, and fantasy.
I want my business cards to feel like a work of art, like a magical invitation.
Today I accomplished the following things:
Tomorrow I really want to design and put together my website asap using a template on wordpress.
Today I woke up feeling pretty awful from going to bed at 4AM last night.
I was feeling super overwhelmed with many many things in my life.
Today, I chose to wake up slowly, get to work slowly, and here are some of the mentalities that helped me:
I still feel a quite a bit of stress of the difficult conversations I’m anticipating, and the difficult tasks I have in front of me.
Unwelcome World
I feel sometimes
I am living in a world
Where every step is heavy
But the gravity only pulls on my heart
And the future feels unknown
Scary and not comfy