Our words to each other
Are poor feeble tools
Unwieldy, inefficient, inaccurate
Yet they built something
We fumbled yes
It’s part of our practice
And make me feel hope
That when we meet
We find ourselves
In a place where all else disappears
Except the two of us
Our minds
Our emotions
Mixing
Like water in a bowl
A place where words dissolve
Like mints
Into their true feelings
And our minds as one
Find a place
Outside space and time
So the groundwork is essentially laid for a lot of things.
I plan on investing $600 into the AI coaching business.
60% of revenue will go to my living expenses
10% will go business expenses
30% will be held in a high yield savings account for taxes
I plan on investing $5000 for the creation of the funnel for my art coaching business. It is already set aside for that purpose.
When I get to the 3 month mark (and I run my businesses full time) I will dip into the savings I have set aside in my emergency fund.
To make things simple, I just decided to funnel all business expenses through my AI coaching account. I will keep my coaching income a separate account.
Today I came up with a new emotional processing tool, finding a way to personify the feelings within me and making friends with them.
The goal is to accept and validate feelings within instead of trying to push them down or quickly process them.
Here are some examples:
These personification, I make friends with them, allow them to be with me while I go about my business.
I also wanted to talk about a really good video I watched.
Some lessons I learned:
Taking the final advice, I wanted to think about it a little more.
I want to make $200,000.
My two goals are:
The question I want to ask myself is: how would I need to go about my goals in such a way that it would be strange if I didn’t make $200,000?
She told me that this was probably our last fight
But if that were true
If one fight was able to erase
All we built together
The world would make no sense
I think
We are meant to fight
A hundred more times
A thousand more times
We are meant to fight each other for the rest of our lives
Until we don’t need to fight anymore
And maybe it’s only then
We might separate
Because
Every time we fight
It feels like the end of the world
But really
It always brings us closer together
Always makes us stronger
I just wish
I was able to be there for her
When we are fighting
To comfort her
Tell her everything was going to be alright
To give her strength to get through it
I had a powerful session with my coach in order to understand the part of me that seeks perfection and wants to know what I “should” be doing, what is the “right” thing to do and what the “perfect” answer is.
We gave a name to this part of me, as a warrior in shining armor, filled with strength and light called the “One Who Watches, Protector of the Weak”.
I imagined him as a tall crusader against all pain and fear in the world and we asked him to understand the war was over. It was won.
After the coaching session, I felt like something was missing. This part of me wanted to know why the war was one, and what that meant because there was still so much pain in the world.
I decided to have a conversation with this archetype and after talking for some time, we discovered that the war wasn’t exactly won. The war was over because I had discovered a secret, and this part of me had a big role to play in discovering this secret – that there was a staircase into the star. This staircase connected my inner world and outer world, and it was feeling that was the key to it. Negative feelings like pain or fear are the most powerful keys to this gateway.
My coach told me that I needed to give my warrior a new purpose while celebrating him and thanking him. The new robes instead of armor that I gave him, the learner of this gateway. This grounded, calm, realistic, infinite power was his.
I asked ChatGPT to write a story about this and this is what it wrote:
The warrior known as the “One Who Watches, Protector of the Weak” had spent his entire life fighting for justice and righteousness. His shining armor and fierce determination had earned him a reputation as a noble and honorable hero, and he had devoted himself to ridding the world of the creatures of pain, hurt, and fear.
But despite all his victories, the warrior couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing in his life. He longed for something deeper, something more profound. And so, he set out on a quest to find this missing piece.
The warrior traveled far and wide, seeking out the wisest sages and scholars in the land. He asked them about the true nature of power and strength, about the secrets of the universe. But no one seemed to have the answers he was looking for.
As the warrior grew more and more frustrated, he began to lose hope. But just when he was about to give up, he received a vision. In his dream, he saw a lost cave hidden deep in the mountains, a cave that held the key to the wisdom he had been seeking.
Without hesitation, the warrior set out to find the lost cave. He climbed steep cliffs and braved treacherous storms, never once losing faith that he would find what he was looking for.
Finally, after many long months of travel, the warrior reached the entrance to the lost cave. He drew his sword and stepped inside, ready for whatever lay ahead.
As he made his way deeper into the cave, the warrior encountered all sorts of dangers – pitfalls, traps, and monstrous beasts. But he didn’t let any of them deter him. He fought on, driven by his determination to find the truth.
And then, in the very heart of the cave, the warrior came across an ancient monk who possessed a profound secret. The monk told the warrior that painful feelings were the gateway to a invisible network of great potential, a network that could connect the inner world with the outer. He explained that this gateway allowed the traveler infinite power, but only if they were willing to embrace their own pain and suffering.
The warrior was stunned by this revelation. He had always believed that strength and skill were the most important qualities a hero could possess, but now he realized that true greatness lay in understanding and wisdom.
And so, the warrior’s armor melted away, replaced by the robes of a guide and learner. He dedicated himself to exploring the invisible network, using his newfound power to help others and make the world a better place.
The One Who Watches, Protector of the Weak, had finally found his true calling, and his power was limitless, grounded in the wisdom and understanding of the earth. He knew that his holy war was over, but his journey towards enlightenment had only just begun.
Images of the secret pathway generated by DALL-E 2.
I think about seeing her
I want it tomorrow
I want it in the next minute
In the next second
To feel the warmth of her smile
Hear her little laugh
And sometimes, I worry
It will never happen
That life will keep us apart
I know that there are certain problems that need to be solved
Problems don’t go away I told her
She avoids them anyway
Until they are about to ruin everything
I hate her for making me feel
There is no hope left
That she accuses me of just stressing her out
Lashes out at me angrily
I feel pain because I know
She loves me
And wants to make me happy
Maybe I was too hard on her
But can I take the pain
Of watching everything burn
Letting the problems stack up against us
She’s so sensitive
And beautiful
And soft and understanding
Perhaps, I can be strong enough
To feel the fear
That I will lose her
I often cope with feelings of fear by trying to solve problems and remove obstacles. It’s who I am. It is the hardest thing to just let something I want more than anything slip away. Maybe I’m too hard on people, on myself for trying to fix everything. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy where life is right now, and process your fear and just trust everything will work itself out.
Sloths in a City in France
When I was still able to walk
I remember her in a white dress
Softer than I imagined
Nervous like a little garment blowing about in the wind
I can see the train station where we first argued
The stones in the road where I sat
My knee hurting
She was there with me
The door with the dresser next to it
The WIFI on the little table
The blooming orange trees on the sunny streets
I remember going to Cannes
And having an argument
And its funny even that memory
Is a fond and warm one for me
A reminder of sunnier days
Someone you love
And the time we spent together
Holding hands
Like the first time on the train