In order to succeed at the project I am currently working on, I need to focus on developing my business, get me into the right headspace of possibility, positivity, fun, innovation, and purpose.
I don’t need to develop anything external (website, logo) but I do need to develop tools and processes to get me into the right headspace.
Here are some original ideas:
7 whys to understand purpose
Write a science fiction story of the role of the clients company in the future, write an origin story to the company
Try to tell the science fiction with the brand, website, ads
Design thinking – how might we solve X problem
What does level 3 look like? What does level 1 and 2 look like?
What problem are we solving for humanity?
What crisis are we pushing the boundaries in?
Mindmap – fill the whiteboard
What games can we play with our employees?
How can we make it fun for our clients?
Here is the main blueprint concept I am working with:
Build the future: create home base to live in
Brand
Mission
Vision
Website
Recruit more people for that future: I need you!
Lead magnet
Work together for the future: we build it together
I have so many things I sorta want to work on but I feel scattered. Part of the problem is that these new glasses are making me dizzy and I don’t really like them very much.
Here are some of my options:
Figure out how to talk to retirement homes about art coaching
Create art coaching website
Write about social anxiety and process
Process feelings of being a failure
Improve vision
Get better at video editing
Work on my art
Work on my music
Improve my bloating
Work on my sleep
Work on my digestion
Work on skool games
I feel lost and I just gravitate towards anything that has some level of an answer for me.
I feel that maybe there one answer to a lot of things. I strongly believe my bloating is due to stress. And while there are many ways to work on stress, I feel breathing might be one of the most powerful ways to manage stress.
If I focus on breathing, I can also focus on singing as it involves breathwork. I also believe it will make a big difference in my digestion and maybe even social anxiety.
So what if I focus on breathing for stress, bloating, anxiety, and singing. What if I make a video about it, hitting another area as well. What video format do I want to follow?
I think I’ll keep it simple, and follow Beau Miles, one of my favorites.
I am worrying about a couple of things. First of all, I went to bed at 2AM again. This is becoming a pattern that I need to address ASAP.
Thinking about what I need via connection theory here is what I came up with:
I need to be able to let go of not being productive during the day. It is hard, but I need to be able to say, I accept where I got to today.
I need some way to process that pain and any anxiety from the day. Connection theory is telling me to yell and scream or hyperventilate.
I need to get into bed at the proper time but again, like last time, I can intice myself with being able to use my phone while in bed.
Also, I feel linked to this is my anxiety around work.
My initial thought is to stop “trying” and pushing harder against a problem, rather everytime I hit an issue, write down all of the questions I have, then work out those problems outside my apartment, walking or going to the gym.
Connection theory is telling me drawing might help as well.
Overall, I feel like total shit and I feel the lack of sleep is taking a toll on my digestion. I hope to relax enough to take a nap and get back into working order.
Ok, we are in the home stretch for the first part of this business experiment.
The first big question I set out to solve is what is my lead magnet for art coaching? I know that I want to offer some free intro sessions, but it is now apparent to me that I want to do other types of lead magnets with people as well because I can’t do a free intro session with just people at the farmer’s market or at a conference (potentially at a conference but I’m not so sure).
Here are the potential lead magnets I have so far:
Prompts for dream creative projects
Artist masterpiece problem diagnosis
Free 1 hr Masterpiece planning call to determine creative project, project timeline, and plan
Free 2 hr coaching call after intro call
The second question I am pondering, is how do I make money off of the AI business?
I guess the answer to that, is that it doesn’t really matter if I make money off of it (at least initially), I just need to get good at dev because that in itself will make me money if I want to.
One of the most recent realizations is that Valorant is meeting my need for significance maybe in a narcissistic way.
One of the ways that I can fulfill my needs and move on to getting more work done is by reassuring myself that even if I’m not getting better, even if I don’t win I am worthy, I am ok.
Today I really want to focus on getting all the contract work done but also visiting non-profits and getting more information about them.
If I can, I also want to be in good shape for jiujitsu and will probably need a bit of napping to get there.
Something else I was thinking about watching some podcasts about fighters today, when I go to jiujitsu, I go to learn and be really good at grappling and self-defense, but that’s not really my focus right now.
I’m really focused on my businesses, and in order to stay focused, I want to focus everything in my life on that.
This means jiujitsu is less about being good at grappling or fighting, but much more about being healthy, relieving stress, and getting a break from the computer.
I’m feeling kinda shitty right now trying to get past the lack of sleep I got today.
What I’m going to start out with is going to a nice place to work and get the basics done, then try to go to the gym and take a nap when I can relax my body enough.
After that, I’ll consider creating a focus for the day on what I want to complete.
Today I would like to work on my personal website.
I want it to reflect all the things that it represents for me:
My workspace – messy creative space for me to work through things, sort of like akimbo
A place that mirrors my coaching
Welcome to my house
Be patient
Take risks
Be ok with silence
A workspace – sort of like profit in peace
My way to be myself in a public way
If people stay, it helps me, if people leave, it helps me
I feel exhausted. My head feels numb. I feel hot and tired. My back aches.
My heart feels heavy. I feel angry at myself. So helpless. My mind in a fog.
My apartment is a mess. I just want to cry.
I can’t work. I just play games all day long. my eyes feel tired.
It’s 2 o’clock in the morning. All I want to do is eat and play video games. The pull is so strong in my heart like there is a strand of honey getting pulled.
I feel a numb panic deep in my chest. I’m afraid of failure. I’m scared I will disappoint myself and everyone around me. Pushing myself to make my business cards is only making me curl up even harder.
It was a long week. I’m exhausted. But the work just keeps coming.
I guess I can cancel tai chi tomorrow. Sleep in.
Tonight I can clean my apartment until I feel more peaceful.
I know I can use the gym as a way to process emotions, but I don’t use it.
I feel this pull, this overwhelm, like the honey being pulled, from my heart.
I’m capable of anything. Even rising from this challenge. This is important because as I get more successful, there will be days I feel exhausted, and in those moments, I need to find a way to find balance, to find peace.
I also want to learn to embrace failure. Failure is so scary to me. There is an image in my mind of my business cards being a complete disappointment and I feel a pit in my heart. A horrible amaturish website I’m not proud of and I can’t fix it.
Everyone starts somewhere. Everyone starts at the beginning. The people who are exceptional, who are savants are not people who started at the middle. They are people who enjoyed the beginning.
But how can I enjoy this? I feel so scared it won’t be good.
Makes me think of this video:
In this video, Jesse talks about how play allows us to feel pressure while still being able to learn.
That fun is the key to this.
But what is the key to fun? What would make this fun for me, regardless of the outcome, what would make designing and drawing fun for me?
What would make it an infinite game, not just a finite game focused on an end goal?
It’s true, the thought of designing business cards does not sound fun to me at all. It sounds like a slog. But maybe that’s because I’m worried about failing.
Ok, what if I tried to merge my painterly style with “woodcut” style prints. What if I created a new drawing technique that I could use to create cool stuff for friends and to sell as products?
That definitely sounds more like play to me.
So what about going to the gym, because I like it so much when I actually go, but I find it hard to go to begin with.
What if I saw it as supercharging myself – which it really is doing. Whether I go to lift weights or just to hang from the bar and stretch it really is building my body up to full potential. It might even solve my sleep problems.
And what about sleep, why do I not want to go to bed? Because if I go to bed, tomorrow, I wake up with tons of problems. Well maybe, that’s not a bad thing. Maybe before I go to bed, I fill my to do list with questions that I want to search out the answers to.
Here are the questions I have today, that if I knew the answers to I would rest easy:
What am I going to do about my art coaching and AI gaming companies?
Am I behind schedule and if so what do I do about it?
Should I extend the schedule?
Am I losing money?
How do I get out of my procrastination phase and get working?
What do I do about my art coaching website?
How do I get everything done in such a short period of time?
Should I start registering for fairs?
Should I pay someone to design the website for me?
How am I going to get the motivation to start drawing? How do I start drawing consistently?
How do I start going to the gym and working outsite the apartment consistently?
How will I start cooking again and cleaning up my apartment? Where will I find the time?
How will I prepare for the next week of work? How do I balance my other businesses?
When will I continue to work on my Javascript projects? What is the breakdown between AI work time and coaching work time.