Today I fasted and I had mixed results. Fasting seems to create more inflammation as my stomach felt irritated and painful and my body felt hot. The left side of my body felt blocked right where my spleen is. It sort of feels like I have an enlarged spleen. The only thing that sort of helps with this is doing meditation. I’ve been having sweats. My lips are cracking from the dryness.
But I decided not to give up. I am going to address the problems at their root, which is certainly the stomach and the spleen. Digestion issues are not new to me. I started using dance therapy techniques and feeling the discomfort in the spleen as sensual and my body started to move. I started to feel pain inside the spleen area. It feels cold. The pressure relieves a little and I feel a trickle.
I wonder if the stress of the drawing challenge and traveling soon are making my stomach clench. It is certainly possible.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. Dance therapy is like magic. I don’t know why I stopped using it. There is this interplay between feeling the feelings and finding comfort. I guess that might be why I left this technique behind. I left it behind to feel pain. To feel without judgement or plan.
Today is not the first day working on the Profit in Peace challenge, but it does FEEL like the first day I am living it.
Today is the first day when I dedicated my morning to finding my magical life. For some context of what that means:
Something that I still don’t really understand or feel comfortable with applying is the values that I believe in every day.
I think that writing honestly and focusing on myself in this blog every morning might actually hit all of these points:
Honesty – well, this blog isn’t called unfiltered for no reason! I do remind myself all the time of the “if they don’t like me please leave” mentality.
Imagination – for me, this blog is dedicated to all my imaginative parts: art, YouTube, philosophy, poetry etc.
Intuition – this is the place where doing things “my” way is celebrated and I tap into what is the best way to do something (according to my intuition) rather than how everyone else does it.
Empathy – this blog is a lot for my feelings where I process feelings through words, video, and images. It is a part of honesty too, honest emotion where this is my place to express everything imperfect.
I also like using the blog as my way of living out all my values and being the person I want to be because it really feels like I am sacrificing something to do this…in a good way.
JT Franco talks about if you aren’t willing to sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice. In the end, I had no idea whether I would sacrifice time talking to my girlfriend, going on YouTube, working, playing games, or making YouTube videos. Those are the things I spend most of my day doing anyway. But none of those things seemed right. It was too blunt on an idea, how could you sacrifice all of YouTube? How could I sacrifice all of work?
But by sacrificing my mornings, in a way, I am also sacrificing all of those things. I resist the urge to listen to audiobooks, watch YouTube videos, check messages, or work in the morning. I dedicate all my time to working on my blog and all my challenges, thoughts, ideas, and philosophies.
I also feel a deep unease and anxiety keeping pace with me this morning:
I’m Afraid I My Boss Will Check
I’m afraid my boss will check
See I’m not working
It won’t matter that I have bigger dreams
it won’t matter if I did a bunch of planning
On the weekend
Feverishly, desperately trying to
Make my workday
Productive, efficient enough
To make up
To make it easy
For me to balance
I remember the look on his face
When I told him
I like to meditate
Skeptical
And
I also wonder
If finding my magic
Will make me feel sad and lonely
Like I did yesterday
I feel tired as I
Let go of trying to change the feeling
And accept it instead
Another anxiety that I have about this challenge or this “morning commitment” is just the sense of lack of clarity. I don’t know what I should be working on, or what I can work on. I think is the pressure of time. Or maybe its because I completed all the prework for the challenge and I don’t exactly have something to work on right now. I’m afraid every action is not “right”.
Is it the right thing to:
Work on challenge videos?
Work on editing videos?
Work on reaching out?
To focus on my body?
Wow there is so much here and I feel that I may be stalling. Scared to make a decision so I’m just rambling on a super long blog post that doesn’t really say anything in particular.
Well all I know right now is I feel like doing a bit of freewriting, fantasy writing or something of that nature. So I’ll go do that.
Today is the first day in the profit in peace challenge live sessions.
Questions/thoughts:
Asking me to empty my cup
Isn’t this a question about time? What if I can’t quit my job or scared of doing it?
Hmm he means a few goals – fuzzy targets don’t get hit
The three Ps
Power – gain skills needed to maximize your natural strengths
Purpose – do something you love
Profit – products that sells themselves
Peace – at the center
I wonder if it is just because I’m so isolated but meeting with others becomes more important to me as soon as I get my alone time
But I do feel like I have charisma, I just burn out the more I work on things I don’t believe in
The lever is your why
But what if I don’t want to sell a physical product or do drop shipping
Trying to apply to what I want
Should I try this out? Or focus on what I want?
I’m guessing you somehow figure out what is a popular search, but aren’t there people already doing that?
Helium 10
At least 20k total searches
Rich buy time
The way that we see money and treat money comes from our parents
I can probably invest 5 to 10 thousand in my business
I can invest 10 to 15 thousand if I make 5000 in my coaching business
I actually got really stressed when attending this session.
I got stressed because I have my work and my coaching business and this challenge and I don’t want to do anything half-assed, but that’s what it felt like I was doing because I felt so scattered.
I decided to completely give up working on coaching for this week so I can fully focus on learning about e-commerce, then kind of work on coaching again afterwards.
I’ve been struggling with an idea recently, the question of how and when to charge for coaching services and when to propose coaching to someone.
The way most coaches approach this is by simply thinking about every hour they spend with someone as a billable hour. They do a “free” intro or demo sessions. I find this approach problematic for numerous reasons:
I love solving problems and delivering value. The reason why I think coaching is the right career is that I would do this stuff even if it was for free.
I hate thinking of every hour of my time as billable. Does every conversation that I don’t get paid for mean that I’m bleeding money everywhere?
I don’t know how to propose coaching, what will the difference be from talking to them? Won’t they feel like I’m charging money for something that should be free?
I don’t see why I shouldn’t prioritize my friends and help people for free? Why should I prioritize only people who pay me money?
I thought about it a lot and I realized that when I want to pay for a coach is because I want to be able to take it seriously. I don’t want a friend, I want someone who can help take me to the next level (emotionally, career and success-wise).
I realized that I can help as many people as I want to for free. I can prioritize friends and spend time with them without thinking of billable hours. But coaching is different. It isn’t just about brainstorming solutions to problems or being an empathetic ear. It’s about taking professional responsibility for someone’s success. The difference between a friend who hired you as a coach from an ordinary friend is that by hiring you they are asking you to meddle with their life!
There are three questions I can ask to see if they would be a good client:
Should they invest in themselves?
Are they doing something that requires coaching?
Do I feel confident that I will be the best coach for the job?
If the answer to all three is yes, I will push to sell them on coaching. If they are friends, I can tell them I will help them and give them advice for the rest of their life for free, but it wouldn’t be coaching until they invested in it.
The price of coaching is a mix of what would be an investment for the client, what would make ME invest, and what value I would be delivering.
In terms of differences in details:
Much more structure (cadence for meetings, methods, note-taking etc.)
Different mindset (clients’ goals are my goals, not my friend’s goals)
So things have been interesting recently. I have a lot of outlets in which to express my thoughts in: Instagram, video, blog post, journal, and slack channel. I don’t know where to post what. But I recently realized that I am taking my blog waaay too seriously. This blog is meant to be a place where I am boldly myself, but also giving me a staging ground to work things out, not come up with the final product. It is my place to draft out ideas, write poems about how I feel, try out videos that I’m not yet ready to publish. It is a place where I’m being unafraidly myself.
With that being said, I wanted to work out some of my thoughts with Instagram on this blog post. I have three Instagram accounts with an idea for a fourth one:
personal account
art account
coaching account
+ valorant account.
I’m going to take a stab at dividing purpose of different outlets:
Instagram – personal
Place to relax and talk to friends
Ask for help, suggestions
Practice challenges
Instagram – art
Place to work on art
Build worlds, characters
Find beauty
Ask about works in progress
Instagram – coaching
Place to remind myself different life lessons
Homepage for coaching, where I direct everyone
Write down what helps me reconnect with art
Instagram – valorant
Place to create training videos for myself to become the best
Reclaim mental
I don’t really know what the purpose of the slack channel is as current. Perhaps I can use it as a place to repost things that I post in different areas.
