Workpost 41: Enjoy Yourself

Byjack

Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:

  1. Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
  2. Should I do coaching again?
  3. Should I continue therapy?

And all the worrying stressful sub questions:

  1. What about the money for jiujitsu
  2. Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
  3. People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
  4. Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?

And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!

If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.

Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.

P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.

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Keeping the Hand Loose

Byjack
Me struggling until I figure out this simple trick.

I recently figured out a really helpful technique for my aim. I do aim practice every single day but I have some day where none of my aim seems to translate over to games. I usually start to get angry and frustrated and this causes my aim to get even worse.

I tried many things this time to get a better aim, but nothing worked.

And then I had the last game, in which I actually did really really well, even though the enemy team was no slouch. I only changed one thing.

I kept my wrist and arm very very loose, using my movement keys to move the crosshair around, but also ready to tense my wrist and arm and flick at any moment. This for some reason, unlocked better movement and aim.

Also, I used phantom which seemed to reward more strafing and close range battles.

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Her Anger Like A Fire

Byjack

Her Anger Like Fire

I felt her anger like fire

Burning in my face

Searing like acid

Felt the heat of it

Within her body

But all I could think of

Was the weight of the cold stones filling my heart

While I wondered

What happens

When love

Gives up

 

I realized something today. Sometimes when you love someone so much, you can’t give them space. Love needs space to grow, absence to remind you what it is made of. Sometimes, if you really love someone, you have to let them go. Even if it means they may never come back.

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Path to Fast Growth

Byjack

Some thoughts:

  1. You don’t always need or want to grow fast
  2. However, if you do, this is how

To summarize very quickly:

There are two things you can do to grow faster, get more customers, and make the customer more valuable.

To get more customers you need:

  • More traffic → Advertise more/better
  • Higher conversion % → Practice sales/Improve offer

To make them more valuable you need to:

  • Raise your prices → Grow gonads & decide
  • Buy more times (decrease churn) → Reach outs, exit interviews, prepayments, OB, Fast results, Events

Spend 80% of your time doing this.

Workpost 80: Recovery and creativity

Byjack

Today I feel like pretty weak and tired from doing a 5k in the morning. But I want to go to jiujitsu later today as well.

So today is going to be a time of hyperrecovery. I need to keep breathing and cough up some of the congestion that built up in my nose and lungs.

Today my main focus is building a landing page that will help increase sales, as well as finishing my business cards.

My strategy for recovery is going to be water and sleep. Lots of naps and water.

3 AM In the Morning

Byjack

Early this morning I parted ways with a friend and a girl who I loved deeply. While everything is fresh, I want to write everything I loved and hated about her in order to deal with the heartbreak and to understand better what I want in a girlfriend.

What I loved:

  • She didn’t expect anything out of me, let me do whatever I wanted, allowed me to express how I felt
  • Was very intelligent fast learner
  • Was beautiful and soft and small
  • Always interested in my thoughts and ideas
  • Had a great sense of humor
  • Understood me, or at least tried to understand when I explained it to her
  • Validated a lot of my ability to read her mind, made me feel safe
  • Was comforting when I was feeling unwell or insecure
  • Was submissive and wanted me to dominate her
  • Had strong opinions and a deep internal landscape
  • Was reasonable in our conversations, could take feedback
  • Was needy and made me feel loved
  • Was extremely emotional and passionate

What I didn’t like:

  • Cold and distant, like to laugh sarcastically and say hurtful things when upset
  • Said she wasn’t very creative and didn’t try to come up with things to talk about
  • Played a sum loss game and would be in denial and extremely defensive
  • Liked being toxic to people when they did badly or were slightly annoying
  • Would give up extremely easily
  • Defiant and stubborn, inflexible
  • Poor memory for happy times when she’s upset, spirals
  • Didn’t like singing or dance
  • Didn’t like trying new food
  • Sometimes gaslighting and in denial when it threatened her ego
  • Was not interested in working on herself

Overall, I felt that my needs were getting met less and less because she would never deal with any trauma that came her way, choosing to avoid things instead. I felt that she stopped being so objective and instead was really unable to listen to the truth when it hurt her ego. However, I still love her very much and hope she will at least come back and want to be friends. I do feel some relief though to be able to focus on myself and explore dating in the city. I feel very alone without her. I hope she is doing ok and will see one day that I really did love her.