So the groundwork is essentially laid for a lot of things.
I plan on investing $600 into the AI coaching business.
60% of revenue will go to my living expenses
10% will go business expenses
30% will be held in a high yield savings account for taxes
I plan on investing $5000 for the creation of the funnel for my art coaching business. It is already set aside for that purpose.
When I get to the 3 month mark (and I run my businesses full time) I will dip into the savings I have set aside in my emergency fund.
To make things simple, I just decided to funnel all business expenses through my AI coaching account. I will keep my coaching income a separate account.
She used to message me and beg me to get on to play I thought she needed me then Loved spending time together We would joke And talk about life Little things These days she plays Without me It’s me who asks And she reluctantly accepts In the game, she’s all anger and frustration She hates the game She hates the teammates She hates me And she hates herself She denied that she ever had fun with me today Says she can’t remember the last time we played That I annoy her That we need to win if we play That we just don’t work together “I like small talk,” she says about her new friends “We are too busy asking about favorite colors” “For me to be mad” I remember a time we asked each other our favorite colors I wonder if it was less special than I thought Or if her new friends are more special than me Its doubt that destroys love Not hate or anger Doubt eating away at a foundation so strong It promised forever Today I worry If I left Would she even notice Over the laughter Of her new friends
This poem is about feeling like what you thought you both cherished, only you actually cherished. That there wasn’t a connection at the level that I originally thought.
If that is actually true, I don’t feel heartbroken. Only depressed. So incredibly disappointed that everything was not as special as I thought it was. It takes me back to my dark places, wondering if anyone could truly love me.
Part of me knows it’s more complicated than that. That there is still hope for us. Still hope for me.
I feel a lot of frustration and anger about not seeing any results with my ads.
I feel anger because:
I worked so hard and intelligently compared to so many people, yet I didn’t really get any sort of results, not even site clicks
I don’t understand why this is happening. I get it if people come to the website and don’t convert. I don’t get it that no one even goes to the website?
I feel extremely angry that my client will take it as further evidence that they are correct (“you just need to be viral” “its not words and images that will get you there” “no one cares about your values” “people wont buy even if its free”)
I think the reasons why it’s failing is because the offer or the video is not good in some way. There must be something wrong with it.
Maybe its possible that the audience settings are not perfect either.
The reality is that my client has no idea what is going on and just wants us to succeed.
He knows that I’ve been working super hard at this project and I’m sure he appreciates it.
He has certain biases that he wants to enact, but those will have to wait until after my period.
A couple of weeks ago, I rented a car at National car rental. My sister returned it for me, and I got a shock in my email a few weeks later.
I immediate assumed this had to be a scam, or some sort of mistake. But the more I read, the more that I could tell this was actually legit. They had the right time, the right place and right company. They were charging me for $1295.81 for damages to the vehicle.
Looking at this deeper I noticed that the line items were VERY extensive, replaces door parts and handles. According to them, the car was HEAVILY damaged.
Looking at the pictures, I could barely see any of the damages they were indicating. It almost felt like they were offloading the cost of wear and tear on me.
Obviously I was LIVID.
I knew that there were some small marks on the car when I picked it up, but I never took any pictures.
I knew that no damage whatsoever happened when I had the car. I didn’t think any of this damage was on the car when I picked it up, but the damage in the photos are so subtle its hard for me to be sure.
I had rental insurance specifically for this car, but didn’t want to file a claim for something I didn’t do.
My sister had someone walk around the car and CONFIRM it was ok before she returned it. They parked it, and who knows what happened after that.
National has a service for their “Emerald Isle” premium members where you can pick up and drop off a car without ever seeing someone.
This now seemed like a LIABILITY not a PERK since now I can’t get them to acknowledge damage on the car.
I’m a new member and if they were going to be f*cking sticklers about this whole thing, they should have EXPLAINED it to me. I would have got them to sign off on EVERY F*CKING SCRATCH BEFORE AND AFTER returning the car.
So I went to chase down this problem:
I called National Support, and they told me that I needed to call their damage unit. I asked them to make a note on my case so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
After I called their damage unit, they redirected me to someone else.
After getting to another person, they redirected me to someone else.
The last person seemed to know what they were talking about, but I had repeat myself because she could not access any of the notes that National Support wrote down.
The last woman who oversaw the appeals to the damages told me the following information:
Generally its better if you take photos beforehand, however, in situations where the “damage” is so small it is easy to miss, you can appeal and they will dismiss it. They consider it human error.
She told me that my “damages” were definitely small enough that someone might have missed it before (so it may not be caused by me).
She agreed to waive all of the fees.
So my lessons learned from this whole experience:
Always get rental car insurance just in case.
Take a video when you pick up the car to prove the condition of the car beforehand. (It’s gonna be me in the parking lot being like “hey this is me in the parking lot picking up this car at X time” so they have proof I didn’t take the video at some other place or time)
Take a video of the car when you return it.
If they try to charge you for something really small and not visible in your videos, appeal, and they will probably dismiss it.
It’s good to be a mix of legitimately angry (I was furious) but polite at the same time (I apologized in advance telling them I was very upset but I knew it wasn’t their fault personally). As a result, they were helpful and resolved my issue quickly.
It was on my run that I decided, I needed to leave
Dread in my heart
Peace in my head
And I didn’t cry
I told her shortly after
Fear in my head
Anxiety in my stomach
And I didn’t cry
I saw the message she sent me
Pain in my soul
Shame on skin
And I didn’t cry
Tonight I told a council of kings
Of a girl I loved
Too young
Too far
Too virtual
I told them I knew it was still special
I told them that I knew she gave up
I told them that I knew I had let go
That I cannot fix or change someone
Just because I need them
I knew it was the right thing to do
And finally
I cried
Tonight was a transformative experience for me. I sobbed today like I haven’t in years. It’s as if the pain, the shame, and the fear were just holding everything back. When I let go, all I felt was sad. I felt relieved, at peace, but so sad I cried for a long time.
I’m feeling a lot of pressure for not making a huge amount of progress in finishing my funnels and progress in my businesses as a whole. I feel that I need to get much more productive in general and I’m not getting there currently in the working environments I’m in. I perhaps need to spend more time out of the apartment working out and in working spaces that help me focus.
I made a change today by going to one of those working spaces.
Let me process the emotions, then look at the dates strategically.
My tailbone and my neck are in tension and sore, probably from running a 5k yesterday.
I feel my heart is gripped in a vice when I think of the time running out.
I feel scared. I feel a bit of the trapped feeling as well.
I almost feel this hollowness in my heart. Almost the same feeling as feeling unloved and misunderstood.
I’m remembering what I felt last night:
I need to focus on the end goal (for my art coaching its helping people who want to pursue this beautiful masterpiece and feel so alone on this journey)
Those people need me, there is some urgency to get it done immediately
I want to inspire my own artistic journey
I just need to create and let the art be what it wants to be
I also saw this amazing video:
It makes me want to do YouTube again, but I feel overwhelmed.
Now that I think of it, it may be a better fit for my AI consulting business. That is a space that is likely very hot, gets a lot of clicks and views and I don’t have a clear idea or mission on what I want to do.
Now let’s look at timelines:
Art Coaching
Start: 7/12 | End: 9/12 | 63 days total
What needs to be done for the funnel:
Payment/banking systems How much to pay myself vs save for taxes vs reinvest into business Website Business cards Calendly Client contracts Mailing lists/CRM
AI Consulting
Start: 7/12 | End: 9/12 | 63 days total
What needs to be done for the funnel:
Payment/banking systems
How much to pay myself vs save for taxes vs reinvest into business
Website
Business cards
Calendly
Client contracts
Mailing lists/CRM
Branding
New contract for funnel
So we are day 26/63 meaning we are 41% through the period, we have 37 days left
Goals: I really want to feel less shitty and tired and I want to come up with a direction for my podcast edit and how I can edit it in 40 minutes or less.
Here are the metrics for scoring:
Energy rejuvenation (1-5)
Confidence in solution (1-5)
Creativity (percentile)
Raw efficiency, work over energy (percentile)
My plan for my warmup is just for go for a long 15 minute walk.
Plan for work session:
UNIT ONE: Analyze video (10 min)
Might want to create a good intro
who are you and what have you done
What would help her as a writer?
Creative process from start to end
Talking about book in a way people want to read it or get greater insight
Greatest struggles as a writer
What like to write about
What do other people probably want to know about a writer?
Where come up with ideas
Interesting passages from book
UNIT TWO: Process/look at other ideas (10 min)
Going all in on Judy Blume masterclass video:
As soon as you tell me I can’t do something, I’m going to do it.
I hope that in sharing with you what I’ve learned over 50 years of writing that it will help you find your way as a writer.
As a 12-year-old, I was obsessed by the idea of growing breasts and getting my period. But there was no place that I could read about it. When I started to write, I was determined to be honest. So I’m going to share with you the practical side of writing.
There’s nothing more important than character. You’re living with these people for years. You had better feel for them. Do some exercises. Have your character write a letter to you. The first draft is pure torture for me. I hate every second of it. I have a messy mind, and my writing is a process of cleaning up the mess, then slowly making a story. I will be able to show that to you.
I got a particularly nasty review once. It got to me, and I took my typewriter, and I held it over this arroyo. And I was going to throw it in. I thought I cannot do this anymore. And then this little voice went off in my head. Wait, you’re going to let this one review stop you from writing? That’s crazy! That’s one opinion. I enjoy finding and supporting new writers, and this is a chance for me to reach more of you.
I always ask myself, why would anyone write if they didn’t have to? I mean it’s so hard. So this is for all of you who feel that you have to.
I’m Judy Blume, and this is my Master Class.
Something really special about Danuta and unique about her personality, show don’t tell.
*Beeroll on books and images from life, maybe emotional points of interview
Some sort of intro to talk about what this is about (maybe introduction)
Something about how she gets started with creative process, or something about art or creativity.
Walk through the step by step creative process
*Images or animation if possible
Talk about a challenging emotional experience
Resolution if possible
Deeper philosophical point
End
UNIT THREE: Create plan for actual editing (currently thinking one short, one long) (10 min)
UNIT ONE: Gathering clips
UNIT TWO: Gathering broll
UNIT THREE: Compositing
Bonus time: shot list
Something really special about Danuta and unique about her personality, show don’t tell. Should be humorous and controversial.
Beeroll on books and images from life, maybe emotional points of interview
To kill the other
Some sort of intro to talk about what this is about (maybe introduction)
Something about how she gets started with creative process, or something about art or creativity.
Walk through the step by step creative process
Images of process
Talk about a challenging emotional experience with resolution if possible
Deeper philosophical point
Some sort of ending
Bonus time: animation thoughts
Trying out pencil 2d!
Postmatch Review:
Overall, this was very fun and rejuvenated my love for editing and video.
Energy rejuvenation – 4 I don’t feel 100% but my energy went up TONS since I started working
Confidence in solution – 2 I feel the plan is really solid but the timing seems a little tight to get all of this done
Creativity – 70th percentile, pretty good, not revolutionary. But I don’t think most people could do this.
Raw efficiency, work over energy – 80th percentile, I think most sessions and people can’t be this productive in 40 minutes that was actually insane.
Match 2: Video Editing
Goals: I want to be excited about this video edit, feel satisfied, while boosting my confidence in pushing out videos faster with less effort
Here are the metrics for scoring:
Excitement in the edit (1-5)
Satisfaction in the edit (1-5)
Efficiency (percentile)
Fun (1-5)
How ME it is (percentile)
My plan for my warmup is to hype myself up – play music, tell friends etc. + motivation.
Clean, write on my board.
UNIT ONE: Gathering clips (10 minutes)
Something really special about Danuta and unique about her personality, show don’t tell. Should be humorous and controversial.
Beeroll on books and images from life, maybe emotional points of interview
To kill the other
Some sort of intro to talk about what this is about (maybe introduction)
Something about how she gets started with creative process, or something about art or creativity.
Walk through the step by step creative process
Images of process
Talk about a challenging emotional experience with resolution if possible
Deeper philosophical point
Some sort of ending
UNIT TWO: Gathering broll
UNIT THREE: Compositing
Postmatch Review:
Excitement in the edit – 2 I’m not that thrilled about the cut so far
Satisfaction in the edit -1 I’m not all that satisfied in the edit
Efficiency (percentile) – 60% I’m better than average but a bit slow compared to experienced video editors
Fun (1-5) – 3 I had quite a lot of fun
How ME it is (percentile) – 15% not a lot of me in it so far
Match 3: Video Editing + MEified
Goals: I was right that the last match did not finish the process of editing. It was just too much. But I did make REALLY good progress. The only problem is, it’s not ME enough. This last challenge, I want to get the edit done, and I want to inject some Jack magic into it.
Metrics for scoring:
How ME is it (percentile)
Completeness & polish (percentile)
For my warmup, I’m going to watch a bunch of my videos.
Ok the warmup didn’t work, I’m gonna play some nice music and meditate. Me is goofy, profound, soft, and emotional.
UNIT ONE: Compostiting
UNIT TWO: MEify
UNIT THREE: Finalize
Postmatch Review: It ended up taking two hours. I’m tired now!
How ME is it – 65% it does feel real, and grounded but not as me as I could make it
Completeness & polish – 65% its actually not bad at all, could use some broll and animation
