A dear friend of mine who I was deeply in love with just cut ties with me. And I’m surprisingly calm.
Part of it is because I don’t think there is much left unsaid or anything I really regret about the whole friendship/relationship we had. I loved so many things about her. The way she made jokes, the sound of her voice, the patience and love she showed me at my worst. I will never forget that and I think she’s changed my life in ways she probably doesn’t even know.
I only wish she felt safe enough, trusted me enough, to tell me about how she truly felt. The worries, the emotions, the anger she was going through, I wish she trusted me enough to be open about it – so I could be as loving as she was for me and be closer today for it. In the end, she gave up on me – just like I had almost given up on her earlier in the friendship.
There are two things that still make me feel like someone is ripping apart my heart with a fork:
The fear that I wasn’t ever really special to her. That maybe she will turn around and say and do all of the things she said and did for me to the next person down the line. Maybe she has already found that next person. Maybe that is why she left. This hurts me somewhere so deep it’s hard for me to face fully.
The hope that she will come back. Hope is pure torture. I’m afraid it will drive me mad if I dwell on it too long.
There are more steps of grief, more growing I will need to do. But this is how I feel right now.
Today I am feeling unsure about my path moving forward. I don’t know what the future holds for me, my career, or relationship.
I want to execute on my plans but I am falling behind. I feel like it takes so much time to make content even if I move at lighting speed, but I will try nonetheless.
It is really helpful to think about vulnerability as emotional work. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being vulnerable just to be vulnerable and that doesn’t feel good or productive.
Ok so lets first look at AI consulting.
My deadline for step 1 is 27th of February. That is one week from now.
My progress so far:
Generated 56 video ideas
Generated 35 prompt ideas
Generated 14 post ideas
Out of the 91 prompt and video ideas, I narrowed down to 18 and asked people to vote on them. Here are the final results.
What kinds of people have job security in the age of AI? – 1
How to build an AI model with zero dollars – 2
Will AI ever be conscious? – 1
Can AI feel emotions? – 2
Did chatgpt pass the turing test?
Can AI be creative? – 1
Can AI be used to create a cure? – 4
What skills are still needed in the age of AI? – 2
What should you learn when AI knows everything? – 1
How to transition to an AI related career? – 1
How to use AI for better business decisions? – 2
How can AI be used to develop innovative products? – 3
GPT Prompt: Imagine a future where a specific societal problem has been solved.
GPT Prompt: Write a rap verse about your favorite food.
GPT Prompt: Take a boardgame and invent new rules
GPT Prompt: Take everything in your fridge and ask for recipes – 2
GPT Prompt: Play a game with the language model, such as Mad Libs or Would you Rather?
GPT Prompt: Ask AI to explain a really difficult concept to you on a 2nd grade level – 3
My goal is the same – make a name for myself so that when I reach out to people…they will recommend people to me.
It is actually sorta interesting how this worked out because in the process of polling people on the video ideas automatically helped me network. I’m discovering a whole new way to network! The step sorta go like this:
Reach out and mention something about what they did recently
If they respond, chat with them for a bit
When you need feedback on an idea, any recommendations for people, reach out to the people you resonate with…or even people who never responded!
I’m a little stumped on where I need to go next.
I want to follow the Mr. Beast formula of spending a lot of time on the title of my videos and the first few seconds. But does that mean I wait until all the results come in?
My feeling is that no, that isn’t the case. If I want to make a name for myself in 7 days, I need to start working on videos. Perhaps, my first step is to start breaking down a video and doing some research on here so I can be better informed on which videos would produce the best results.
Last night I went to bed on time, got into my bedroom about 11PM and went to bed at midnight.
However, I woke up feeling abysmal, tired and my stomach was hurting. I feel that I ate a big dinner to close to bedtime. Also, maybe I’m just catching up on sleep.
This morning, as with many mornings, I did not want to go for a walk, but I did anyway. I realized that if I go for a walk because I “have to” then I feel undermotivated. But if I go for a walk to “meditate” and think, it actually is quite enjoyable and feels needed as I feel pretty shitty and need some time. I also makes it easy to not reach for my phone because I obviously don’t want a phone disturbing my quiet thoughtful meditation.
I also realized my morning singing and dance are part of my meditation and that I want to set an alarm so that I know when I need to look at my phone.
Today in terms of work, I don’t really know what to focus on. Perhaps I will finish up more things related to work so I can have fewer things on my plate and be able to focus on my two goals around AI and Art Coaching.
Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:
Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
Should I do coaching again?
Should I continue therapy?
And all the worrying stressful sub questions:
What about the money for jiujitsu
Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?
And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!
If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.
Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.
P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.
A couple of weeks ago, I rented a car at National car rental. My sister returned it for me, and I got a shock in my email a few weeks later.
I immediate assumed this had to be a scam, or some sort of mistake. But the more I read, the more that I could tell this was actually legit. They had the right time, the right place and right company. They were charging me for $1295.81 for damages to the vehicle.
Looking at this deeper I noticed that the line items were VERY extensive, replaces door parts and handles. According to them, the car was HEAVILY damaged.
Looking at the pictures, I could barely see any of the damages they were indicating. It almost felt like they were offloading the cost of wear and tear on me.
Obviously I was LIVID.
I knew that there were some small marks on the car when I picked it up, but I never took any pictures.
I knew that no damage whatsoever happened when I had the car. I didn’t think any of this damage was on the car when I picked it up, but the damage in the photos are so subtle its hard for me to be sure.
I had rental insurance specifically for this car, but didn’t want to file a claim for something I didn’t do.
My sister had someone walk around the car and CONFIRM it was ok before she returned it. They parked it, and who knows what happened after that.
National has a service for their “Emerald Isle” premium members where you can pick up and drop off a car without ever seeing someone.
This now seemed like a LIABILITY not a PERK since now I can’t get them to acknowledge damage on the car.
I’m a new member and if they were going to be f*cking sticklers about this whole thing, they should have EXPLAINED it to me. I would have got them to sign off on EVERY F*CKING SCRATCH BEFORE AND AFTER returning the car.
So I went to chase down this problem:
I called National Support, and they told me that I needed to call their damage unit. I asked them to make a note on my case so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
After I called their damage unit, they redirected me to someone else.
After getting to another person, they redirected me to someone else.
The last person seemed to know what they were talking about, but I had repeat myself because she could not access any of the notes that National Support wrote down.
The last woman who oversaw the appeals to the damages told me the following information:
Generally its better if you take photos beforehand, however, in situations where the “damage” is so small it is easy to miss, you can appeal and they will dismiss it. They consider it human error.
She told me that my “damages” were definitely small enough that someone might have missed it before (so it may not be caused by me).
She agreed to waive all of the fees.
So my lessons learned from this whole experience:
Always get rental car insurance just in case.
Take a video when you pick up the car to prove the condition of the car beforehand. (It’s gonna be me in the parking lot being like “hey this is me in the parking lot picking up this car at X time” so they have proof I didn’t take the video at some other place or time)
Take a video of the car when you return it.
If they try to charge you for something really small and not visible in your videos, appeal, and they will probably dismiss it.
It’s good to be a mix of legitimately angry (I was furious) but polite at the same time (I apologized in advance telling them I was very upset but I knew it wasn’t their fault personally). As a result, they were helpful and resolved my issue quickly.
Ever since I left my house and went off to college, it has been increasingly hard to go to bed on time.
It’s killing me. I don’t recover from workouts, my mind is foggy, and my memory mists away. My moods feel erratic and neurotic. Energy during the day is a thing of the past.
And yet I cannot stop.
2 am, 3 am, 4 am, 5 am. I keep going to bed late. And sometimes later and later.
I tried so many times to go to be at a reasonable time. I try for a few days, and then I relapse. But we aren’t giving up. We are trying it one more time.
And I didn’t do it alone. My good friend Edgar gave me this kick in the butt:
So what is my gameplan this time? How am I going to succeed when I failed so many times before?
A couple of things:
I will not try to control how much sleep I get
I will not try to control my screen habits
I will not control anything but one single factor, which is my bedtime
At the same time, I will figure out what needs I am meeting by going to bed late and how to meet those needs earlier in the day
I will commit to this bedtime long enough to form a habit
I made a list of reasons why I love staying up late at night:
Completely alone
Lots of time – no rush
Sense of accomplishment (if I feel I haven’t accomplished anything yet it gives me more time to get things done)
Consume art
Nighttime magical vibes
Dread of the next day
More time to eat and digest
I realized that not sleeping is incredibly compelling to me. It is far more challenging for me to go to sleep on time than most people. So as a result, I need to keep it simple. Bedtime at 11 PM for the next 66 days, no exceptions. The challenge will end on December 12th. I am two days into this challenge already.
What does this mean?
I can eat right before bed
I can watch videos in my bed after 11
I can get back up, stretch if I cannot fall asleep, then go back to bed
I can toss and turn at 11
I can get up at 6 am if I have work that needs to be done but I don’t have the time to finish it
In the meantime, in an attempt to meet all my needs before bed:
I will silence notifications and try to find some alone time every day
I will work to identify a task that is feasible to do and will give me a strong sense of accomplishment every day
I will try to get this done early so that I will have larger open times during the day where I don’t feel rushed
I will pursue more art and magical vibes
I will try to leave gifts for myself the next day so I have positive anticipation(ex: a clean empty sink, plans for something fun)
I will try to eat at 8 pm at the latest so I have time to digest before 11
In terms of how to structure the next 66 days, I have not decided yet, but perhaps I will try to focus on each of the needs and strategies every week.
Some additional strategies/thoughts:
Turning off all the lights
Melatonin gummies
So far, finding a way to feel accomplished/ready for the next day has been a game-changer in wanting to go to sleep. Also, it is easier to go to sleep when bedtime is a hard boundary that is very strict and everything else is quite relaxed (I can still get less sleep and wake up super earlier if I feel I’m not prepared for the next day, I don’t have to go to sleep as long as I’m in bed). Nothing is tempting as a valid excuse/difficult decision anymore.
So tentatively I feel this time will be different. My hope is that after 66 days, I will no longer have to try to go to bed at 11, it will just be automatic, and I will start to cherish my sleep and life in general!
Today I am feeling unsure about my path moving forward. I don’t know what the future holds for me, my career, or relationship.
I want to execute on my plans but I am falling behind. I feel like it takes so much time to make content even if I move at lighting speed, but I will try nonetheless.
It is really helpful to think about vulnerability as emotional work. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being vulnerable just to be vulnerable and that doesn’t feel good or productive.
Ok so lets first look at AI consulting.
My deadline for step 1 is 27th of February. That is one week from now.
My progress so far:
Generated 56 video ideas
Generated 35 prompt ideas
Generated 14 post ideas
Out of the 91 prompt and video ideas, I narrowed down to 18 and asked people to vote on them. Here are the final results.
What kinds of people have job security in the age of AI? – 1
How to build an AI model with zero dollars – 2
Will AI ever be conscious? – 1
Can AI feel emotions? – 2
Did chatgpt pass the turing test?
Can AI be creative? – 1
Can AI be used to create a cure? – 4
What skills are still needed in the age of AI? – 2
What should you learn when AI knows everything? – 1
How to transition to an AI related career? – 1
How to use AI for better business decisions? – 2
How can AI be used to develop innovative products? – 3
GPT Prompt: Imagine a future where a specific societal problem has been solved.
GPT Prompt: Write a rap verse about your favorite food.
GPT Prompt: Take a boardgame and invent new rules
GPT Prompt: Take everything in your fridge and ask for recipes – 2
GPT Prompt: Play a game with the language model, such as Mad Libs or Would you Rather?
GPT Prompt: Ask AI to explain a really difficult concept to you on a 2nd grade level – 3
My goal is the same – make a name for myself so that when I reach out to people…they will recommend people to me.
It is actually sorta interesting how this worked out because in the process of polling people on the video ideas automatically helped me network. I’m discovering a whole new way to network! The step sorta go like this:
Reach out and mention something about what they did recently
If they respond, chat with them for a bit
When you need feedback on an idea, any recommendations for people, reach out to the people you resonate with…or even people who never responded!
I’m a little stumped on where I need to go next.
I want to follow the Mr. Beast formula of spending a lot of time on the title of my videos and the first few seconds. But does that mean I wait until all the results come in?
My feeling is that no, that isn’t the case. If I want to make a name for myself in 7 days, I need to start working on videos. Perhaps, my first step is to start breaking down a video and doing some research on here so I can be better informed on which videos would produce the best results.
Last night I went to bed on time, got into my bedroom about 11PM and went to bed at midnight.
However, I woke up feeling abysmal, tired and my stomach was hurting. I feel that I ate a big dinner to close to bedtime. Also, maybe I’m just catching up on sleep.
This morning, as with many mornings, I did not want to go for a walk, but I did anyway. I realized that if I go for a walk because I “have to” then I feel undermotivated. But if I go for a walk to “meditate” and think, it actually is quite enjoyable and feels needed as I feel pretty shitty and need some time. I also makes it easy to not reach for my phone because I obviously don’t want a phone disturbing my quiet thoughtful meditation.
I also realized my morning singing and dance are part of my meditation and that I want to set an alarm so that I know when I need to look at my phone.
Today in terms of work, I don’t really know what to focus on. Perhaps I will finish up more things related to work so I can have fewer things on my plate and be able to focus on my two goals around AI and Art Coaching.
Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:
Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
Should I do coaching again?
Should I continue therapy?
And all the worrying stressful sub questions:
What about the money for jiujitsu
Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?
And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!
If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.
Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.
P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.
A couple of weeks ago, I rented a car at National car rental. My sister returned it for me, and I got a shock in my email a few weeks later.
I immediate assumed this had to be a scam, or some sort of mistake. But the more I read, the more that I could tell this was actually legit. They had the right time, the right place and right company. They were charging me for $1295.81 for damages to the vehicle.
Looking at this deeper I noticed that the line items were VERY extensive, replaces door parts and handles. According to them, the car was HEAVILY damaged.
Looking at the pictures, I could barely see any of the damages they were indicating. It almost felt like they were offloading the cost of wear and tear on me.
Obviously I was LIVID.
I knew that there were some small marks on the car when I picked it up, but I never took any pictures.
I knew that no damage whatsoever happened when I had the car. I didn’t think any of this damage was on the car when I picked it up, but the damage in the photos are so subtle its hard for me to be sure.
I had rental insurance specifically for this car, but didn’t want to file a claim for something I didn’t do.
My sister had someone walk around the car and CONFIRM it was ok before she returned it. They parked it, and who knows what happened after that.
National has a service for their “Emerald Isle” premium members where you can pick up and drop off a car without ever seeing someone.
This now seemed like a LIABILITY not a PERK since now I can’t get them to acknowledge damage on the car.
I’m a new member and if they were going to be f*cking sticklers about this whole thing, they should have EXPLAINED it to me. I would have got them to sign off on EVERY F*CKING SCRATCH BEFORE AND AFTER returning the car.
So I went to chase down this problem:
I called National Support, and they told me that I needed to call their damage unit. I asked them to make a note on my case so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
After I called their damage unit, they redirected me to someone else.
After getting to another person, they redirected me to someone else.
The last person seemed to know what they were talking about, but I had repeat myself because she could not access any of the notes that National Support wrote down.
The last woman who oversaw the appeals to the damages told me the following information:
Generally its better if you take photos beforehand, however, in situations where the “damage” is so small it is easy to miss, you can appeal and they will dismiss it. They consider it human error.
She told me that my “damages” were definitely small enough that someone might have missed it before (so it may not be caused by me).
She agreed to waive all of the fees.
So my lessons learned from this whole experience:
Always get rental car insurance just in case.
Take a video when you pick up the car to prove the condition of the car beforehand. (It’s gonna be me in the parking lot being like “hey this is me in the parking lot picking up this car at X time” so they have proof I didn’t take the video at some other place or time)
Take a video of the car when you return it.
If they try to charge you for something really small and not visible in your videos, appeal, and they will probably dismiss it.
It’s good to be a mix of legitimately angry (I was furious) but polite at the same time (I apologized in advance telling them I was very upset but I knew it wasn’t their fault personally). As a result, they were helpful and resolved my issue quickly.
Ever since I left my house and went off to college, it has been increasingly hard to go to bed on time.
It’s killing me. I don’t recover from workouts, my mind is foggy, and my memory mists away. My moods feel erratic and neurotic. Energy during the day is a thing of the past.
And yet I cannot stop.
2 am, 3 am, 4 am, 5 am. I keep going to bed late. And sometimes later and later.
I tried so many times to go to be at a reasonable time. I try for a few days, and then I relapse. But we aren’t giving up. We are trying it one more time.
And I didn’t do it alone. My good friend Edgar gave me this kick in the butt:
So what is my gameplan this time? How am I going to succeed when I failed so many times before?
A couple of things:
I will not try to control how much sleep I get
I will not try to control my screen habits
I will not control anything but one single factor, which is my bedtime
At the same time, I will figure out what needs I am meeting by going to bed late and how to meet those needs earlier in the day
I will commit to this bedtime long enough to form a habit
I made a list of reasons why I love staying up late at night:
Completely alone
Lots of time – no rush
Sense of accomplishment (if I feel I haven’t accomplished anything yet it gives me more time to get things done)
Consume art
Nighttime magical vibes
Dread of the next day
More time to eat and digest
I realized that not sleeping is incredibly compelling to me. It is far more challenging for me to go to sleep on time than most people. So as a result, I need to keep it simple. Bedtime at 11 PM for the next 66 days, no exceptions. The challenge will end on December 12th. I am two days into this challenge already.
What does this mean?
I can eat right before bed
I can watch videos in my bed after 11
I can get back up, stretch if I cannot fall asleep, then go back to bed
I can toss and turn at 11
I can get up at 6 am if I have work that needs to be done but I don’t have the time to finish it
In the meantime, in an attempt to meet all my needs before bed:
I will silence notifications and try to find some alone time every day
I will work to identify a task that is feasible to do and will give me a strong sense of accomplishment every day
I will try to get this done early so that I will have larger open times during the day where I don’t feel rushed
I will pursue more art and magical vibes
I will try to leave gifts for myself the next day so I have positive anticipation(ex: a clean empty sink, plans for something fun)
I will try to eat at 8 pm at the latest so I have time to digest before 11
In terms of how to structure the next 66 days, I have not decided yet, but perhaps I will try to focus on each of the needs and strategies every week.
Some additional strategies/thoughts:
Turning off all the lights
Melatonin gummies
So far, finding a way to feel accomplished/ready for the next day has been a game-changer in wanting to go to sleep. Also, it is easier to go to sleep when bedtime is a hard boundary that is very strict and everything else is quite relaxed (I can still get less sleep and wake up super earlier if I feel I’m not prepared for the next day, I don’t have to go to sleep as long as I’m in bed). Nothing is tempting as a valid excuse/difficult decision anymore.
So tentatively I feel this time will be different. My hope is that after 66 days, I will no longer have to try to go to bed at 11, it will just be automatic, and I will start to cherish my sleep and life in general!
Today I am feeling unsure about my path moving forward. I don’t know what the future holds for me, my career, or relationship.
I want to execute on my plans but I am falling behind. I feel like it takes so much time to make content even if I move at lighting speed, but I will try nonetheless.
It is really helpful to think about vulnerability as emotional work. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being vulnerable just to be vulnerable and that doesn’t feel good or productive.
Ok so lets first look at AI consulting.
My deadline for step 1 is 27th of February. That is one week from now.
My progress so far:
Generated 56 video ideas
Generated 35 prompt ideas
Generated 14 post ideas
Out of the 91 prompt and video ideas, I narrowed down to 18 and asked people to vote on them. Here are the final results.
What kinds of people have job security in the age of AI? – 1
How to build an AI model with zero dollars – 2
Will AI ever be conscious? – 1
Can AI feel emotions? – 2
Did chatgpt pass the turing test?
Can AI be creative? – 1
Can AI be used to create a cure? – 4
What skills are still needed in the age of AI? – 2
What should you learn when AI knows everything? – 1
How to transition to an AI related career? – 1
How to use AI for better business decisions? – 2
How can AI be used to develop innovative products? – 3
GPT Prompt: Imagine a future where a specific societal problem has been solved.
GPT Prompt: Write a rap verse about your favorite food.
GPT Prompt: Take a boardgame and invent new rules
GPT Prompt: Take everything in your fridge and ask for recipes – 2
GPT Prompt: Play a game with the language model, such as Mad Libs or Would you Rather?
GPT Prompt: Ask AI to explain a really difficult concept to you on a 2nd grade level – 3
My goal is the same – make a name for myself so that when I reach out to people…they will recommend people to me.
It is actually sorta interesting how this worked out because in the process of polling people on the video ideas automatically helped me network. I’m discovering a whole new way to network! The step sorta go like this:
Reach out and mention something about what they did recently
If they respond, chat with them for a bit
When you need feedback on an idea, any recommendations for people, reach out to the people you resonate with…or even people who never responded!
I’m a little stumped on where I need to go next.
I want to follow the Mr. Beast formula of spending a lot of time on the title of my videos and the first few seconds. But does that mean I wait until all the results come in?
My feeling is that no, that isn’t the case. If I want to make a name for myself in 7 days, I need to start working on videos. Perhaps, my first step is to start breaking down a video and doing some research on here so I can be better informed on which videos would produce the best results.
Last night I went to bed on time, got into my bedroom about 11PM and went to bed at midnight.
However, I woke up feeling abysmal, tired and my stomach was hurting. I feel that I ate a big dinner to close to bedtime. Also, maybe I’m just catching up on sleep.
This morning, as with many mornings, I did not want to go for a walk, but I did anyway. I realized that if I go for a walk because I “have to” then I feel undermotivated. But if I go for a walk to “meditate” and think, it actually is quite enjoyable and feels needed as I feel pretty shitty and need some time. I also makes it easy to not reach for my phone because I obviously don’t want a phone disturbing my quiet thoughtful meditation.
I also realized my morning singing and dance are part of my meditation and that I want to set an alarm so that I know when I need to look at my phone.
Today in terms of work, I don’t really know what to focus on. Perhaps I will finish up more things related to work so I can have fewer things on my plate and be able to focus on my two goals around AI and Art Coaching.
Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:
Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
Should I do coaching again?
Should I continue therapy?
And all the worrying stressful sub questions:
What about the money for jiujitsu
Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?
And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!
If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.
Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.
P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.
A couple of weeks ago, I rented a car at National car rental. My sister returned it for me, and I got a shock in my email a few weeks later.
I immediate assumed this had to be a scam, or some sort of mistake. But the more I read, the more that I could tell this was actually legit. They had the right time, the right place and right company. They were charging me for $1295.81 for damages to the vehicle.
Looking at this deeper I noticed that the line items were VERY extensive, replaces door parts and handles. According to them, the car was HEAVILY damaged.
Looking at the pictures, I could barely see any of the damages they were indicating. It almost felt like they were offloading the cost of wear and tear on me.
Obviously I was LIVID.
I knew that there were some small marks on the car when I picked it up, but I never took any pictures.
I knew that no damage whatsoever happened when I had the car. I didn’t think any of this damage was on the car when I picked it up, but the damage in the photos are so subtle its hard for me to be sure.
I had rental insurance specifically for this car, but didn’t want to file a claim for something I didn’t do.
My sister had someone walk around the car and CONFIRM it was ok before she returned it. They parked it, and who knows what happened after that.
National has a service for their “Emerald Isle” premium members where you can pick up and drop off a car without ever seeing someone.
This now seemed like a LIABILITY not a PERK since now I can’t get them to acknowledge damage on the car.
I’m a new member and if they were going to be f*cking sticklers about this whole thing, they should have EXPLAINED it to me. I would have got them to sign off on EVERY F*CKING SCRATCH BEFORE AND AFTER returning the car.
So I went to chase down this problem:
I called National Support, and they told me that I needed to call their damage unit. I asked them to make a note on my case so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
After I called their damage unit, they redirected me to someone else.
After getting to another person, they redirected me to someone else.
The last person seemed to know what they were talking about, but I had repeat myself because she could not access any of the notes that National Support wrote down.
The last woman who oversaw the appeals to the damages told me the following information:
Generally its better if you take photos beforehand, however, in situations where the “damage” is so small it is easy to miss, you can appeal and they will dismiss it. They consider it human error.
She told me that my “damages” were definitely small enough that someone might have missed it before (so it may not be caused by me).
She agreed to waive all of the fees.
So my lessons learned from this whole experience:
Always get rental car insurance just in case.
Take a video when you pick up the car to prove the condition of the car beforehand. (It’s gonna be me in the parking lot being like “hey this is me in the parking lot picking up this car at X time” so they have proof I didn’t take the video at some other place or time)
Take a video of the car when you return it.
If they try to charge you for something really small and not visible in your videos, appeal, and they will probably dismiss it.
It’s good to be a mix of legitimately angry (I was furious) but polite at the same time (I apologized in advance telling them I was very upset but I knew it wasn’t their fault personally). As a result, they were helpful and resolved my issue quickly.
Ever since I left my house and went off to college, it has been increasingly hard to go to bed on time.
It’s killing me. I don’t recover from workouts, my mind is foggy, and my memory mists away. My moods feel erratic and neurotic. Energy during the day is a thing of the past.
And yet I cannot stop.
2 am, 3 am, 4 am, 5 am. I keep going to bed late. And sometimes later and later.
I tried so many times to go to be at a reasonable time. I try for a few days, and then I relapse. But we aren’t giving up. We are trying it one more time.
And I didn’t do it alone. My good friend Edgar gave me this kick in the butt:
So what is my gameplan this time? How am I going to succeed when I failed so many times before?
A couple of things:
I will not try to control how much sleep I get
I will not try to control my screen habits
I will not control anything but one single factor, which is my bedtime
At the same time, I will figure out what needs I am meeting by going to bed late and how to meet those needs earlier in the day
I will commit to this bedtime long enough to form a habit
I made a list of reasons why I love staying up late at night:
Completely alone
Lots of time – no rush
Sense of accomplishment (if I feel I haven’t accomplished anything yet it gives me more time to get things done)
Consume art
Nighttime magical vibes
Dread of the next day
More time to eat and digest
I realized that not sleeping is incredibly compelling to me. It is far more challenging for me to go to sleep on time than most people. So as a result, I need to keep it simple. Bedtime at 11 PM for the next 66 days, no exceptions. The challenge will end on December 12th. I am two days into this challenge already.
What does this mean?
I can eat right before bed
I can watch videos in my bed after 11
I can get back up, stretch if I cannot fall asleep, then go back to bed
I can toss and turn at 11
I can get up at 6 am if I have work that needs to be done but I don’t have the time to finish it
In the meantime, in an attempt to meet all my needs before bed:
I will silence notifications and try to find some alone time every day
I will work to identify a task that is feasible to do and will give me a strong sense of accomplishment every day
I will try to get this done early so that I will have larger open times during the day where I don’t feel rushed
I will pursue more art and magical vibes
I will try to leave gifts for myself the next day so I have positive anticipation(ex: a clean empty sink, plans for something fun)
I will try to eat at 8 pm at the latest so I have time to digest before 11
In terms of how to structure the next 66 days, I have not decided yet, but perhaps I will try to focus on each of the needs and strategies every week.
Some additional strategies/thoughts:
Turning off all the lights
Melatonin gummies
So far, finding a way to feel accomplished/ready for the next day has been a game-changer in wanting to go to sleep. Also, it is easier to go to sleep when bedtime is a hard boundary that is very strict and everything else is quite relaxed (I can still get less sleep and wake up super earlier if I feel I’m not prepared for the next day, I don’t have to go to sleep as long as I’m in bed). Nothing is tempting as a valid excuse/difficult decision anymore.
So tentatively I feel this time will be different. My hope is that after 66 days, I will no longer have to try to go to bed at 11, it will just be automatic, and I will start to cherish my sleep and life in general!
