Similar Posts
Workpost 10: Shortpost
Today I want to write a short post because I want to strike a better balance today between work and indulgence, between freedom and routine.
Yesterday I did have fun, but my need for productivity left me feeling stressed because I didn’t get much done. At the same time, I want to fully enjoy what I did yesterday which was play and watch a lot of Valorant.
If I’m able to do that, go outside and be more active, as well as go to sleep at a good nice, I’ll be pretty happy.
Right now, I feel like shit cuz I went to bed at 1am but that’s ok…I needed to unwind a bit!
So this is going to be a short post because I’m gonna get started with work right away. I want to get enough work done, that I can start trying out this working while walking outside and going to the gym and working on art.
I did this yesterday for a very little time and it was absolutely awesome. I drove to go get food and while I was walking I was asking chatgpt about a coding problem I had and thinking about it.
It felt really good. Productive, free, and fun! Now I need to take that code, implement it, make it work so I can be active again and solve the next piece of the puzzle.
Happy Without Me
Happy Without Me
I’m scared
That you will like him
More than you ever liked me
That he will see your beauty want to win you over
Just like how I felt
When I first heard your voice
In a way,
I’m glad that I feel the anger and desperation
That it makes me feel the passion again
Want you to be mine
But I remember another time
When I felt like I was left behind for someone better
That I felt not good enough
And I wonder if you would like someone new
Like the first bite of an apple
Before the taste grows boring in your mouth
Sometimes I’m confused
Whether I’m pushing or pulling
Like the dream I had about you sitting next to me on a train
Your curls framing your face
So warm
Even with the beautiful view outside
I only had eyes for you
And the morning when I wondered what it would be like
To treat dating like another adventure
A new face every day
A new smile
Do you ever wonder the same?
Have you already felt so?
Did you wonder today?
When forget to ask me
If I still felt sick
This poem is about the painful feeling of desperation and jealousy when you are not always the center of someone’s world. Beyond the feeling is the passion you feel when you remember how desirable someone is.
I’m Afraid To Let Go
I’m Afraid To Let Go
One day you will see
How you were so focused
On self-soothing
On finding your comfort alone
You forget that you ignored
A man who loved you
For a game
So trivial
You may lose interest in the next month
For you, it’s a question of winning
Of being right or wrong
But for me
It’s a question of love
I wonder
If I have so little self-respect
To spend so much time
Money
Effort
To cheer you up
Just for you to go back to the game
And put me second
Or perhaps this is what love is
And I should keep believing
That you just need
More time
To see
That you can let yourself
Need me
All That Matters Is Now
I just made a little discovery about the nature of “should” and regret. What should I do, what should I have done, what is the perfect next move. They are interesting ideas but they can sometimes limit our understanding of the truth.
It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, or what will happen in the future, only how we feel about them now.
That is why everything is about processing feelings and even the permission exercise processes feelings about the future. Nothing matters but now.
It doesn’t even make sense to think about the future and the past because all we can control is the now.
Because nothing matters but the moment, we can process the past, we can process the future, and make our decision from where we are on how to feel the present. We can make decisions from the vantage point of now. We can do things now. We can feel now.
All that Matters is Now
I was scared of the past
Scared of what I might find
I was scared of the future
Scared of what I might do
But the place where I stand right now
With all the things that brought me to this moment
And all the paths that move on from here
Is all that matters
There is nothing I should do
There is only feeling what is
Only discovering
Acting
Understanding
Waiting
Workpost 40: Refinement of the Game
Today I made some definite progress. Even though I have the exact same feeling of lack of motivation, no interest in working. Wanting to just play games, I felt significantly better, having done spleen chi exercises both before bed and after waking up in the morning. As a result I started working 3 hours earlier than yesterday.
Today, I want to improve upon and refine on the game that I created for myself yesterday.
Firstly, in my walking meditation this morning, some wisdom came to me.
Relaxed > Easy > Fast
This was the wisdom first introduced to me in the book, Born to Run where the author talks about how you run completely relaxed first. Then you make your running more smooth, more efficient. If you are able to make it efficient and relaxed, you WILL be fast.
This is the same thing in Valorant. In your warmups you aren’t instantly trying to one tap everyone. You aren’t trying to do it fast. If you do, you probably are going too fast and the warmup won’t work.
You want to start slow (or even in the Miyagi technique, don’t even follow through with a shot, just track the target). As it becomes easy for you to hit headtaps, then you start to gradually speed up.
I want to implement this in my warmups. First, start off doing intense workout with the aim of expansion. Then focus on some brainteasers (Miyagi, completely relaxed). After a few minutes of that, work on to do list, trying to make my relaxed thinking more efficient and clean. Finally, at the tail end of the warmup, try to go fast. My thoughts are:
- 5 min physical warmup
- 2 min brainteasers
- 5 min todolist
- 3 min buffer
Then for the actual match, I would like to break it up more often with some deep breathing every 5 minutes, like I do with Valorant between rounds.
Workpost 2: Moving Forward Slowly
Today I am feeling unsure about my path moving forward. I don’t know what the future holds for me, my career, or relationship.
I want to execute on my plans but I am falling behind. I feel like it takes so much time to make content even if I move at lighting speed, but I will try nonetheless.
It is really helpful to think about vulnerability as emotional work. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being vulnerable just to be vulnerable and that doesn’t feel good or productive.
Ok so lets first look at AI consulting.
My deadline for step 1 is 27th of February. That is one week from now.
My progress so far:
- Generated 56 video ideas
- Generated 35 prompt ideas
- Generated 14 post ideas
Out of the 91 prompt and video ideas, I narrowed down to 18 and asked people to vote on them. Here are the final results.
- What kinds of people have job security in the age of AI? – 1
- How to build an AI model with zero dollars – 2
- Will AI ever be conscious? – 1
- Can AI feel emotions? – 2
- Did chatgpt pass the turing test?
- Can AI be creative? – 1
- Can AI be used to create a cure? – 4
- What skills are still needed in the age of AI? – 2
- What should you learn when AI knows everything? – 1
- How to transition to an AI related career? – 1
- How to use AI for better business decisions? – 2
- How can AI be used to develop innovative products? – 3
- GPT Prompt: Imagine a future where a specific societal problem has been solved.
- GPT Prompt: Write a rap verse about your favorite food.
- GPT Prompt: Take a boardgame and invent new rules
- GPT Prompt: Take everything in your fridge and ask for recipes – 2
- GPT Prompt: Play a game with the language model, such as Mad Libs or Would you Rather?
- GPT Prompt: Ask AI to explain a really difficult concept to you on a 2nd grade level – 3
My goal is the same – make a name for myself so that when I reach out to people…they will recommend people to me.
It is actually sorta interesting how this worked out because in the process of polling people on the video ideas automatically helped me network. I’m discovering a whole new way to network! The step sorta go like this:
- Reach out and mention something about what they did recently
- If they respond, chat with them for a bit
- When you need feedback on an idea, any recommendations for people, reach out to the people you resonate with…or even people who never responded!
I’m a little stumped on where I need to go next.
I want to follow the Mr. Beast formula of spending a lot of time on the title of my videos and the first few seconds. But does that mean I wait until all the results come in?
My feeling is that no, that isn’t the case. If I want to make a name for myself in 7 days, I need to start working on videos. Perhaps, my first step is to start breaking down a video and doing some research on here so I can be better informed on which videos would produce the best results.