Poetry | Writing

What She Saw In Me

Byjack November 22, 2021December 2, 2021

What She Saw In Me

I saw a video today

About how we should love ourselves

For things

The people we love

Saw in us

She loved my appearance

Thought I was handsome

I’ll indulge in my appearance

Feel proud

Groom myself

She loved my intelligence

I’ll indulge in that

Try to decipher

The world’s problems

She loved me for my emotions

I’ll indulge in that

Seek to find emotion

In art

In myself

In other people

She loved me for my skill

I’ll indulge in that

Not being afraid

To take the game

To new levels

She loved my laugh

I’ll indulge in that

Surround me with humor

She loved me because she understood me

I’ll indulge in that

Confide in her

Confide in people who get me

She loved me because I needed her

I’ll indulge in that

Seek to be taken care of

To be cared for

Poetry | Writing

What Should I Do?

Byjack December 21, 2022December 21, 2022

What Should I Do?

Every time I am afraid

I feel confused and helpless

I ask myself

What should I do?

My mom told me what I should do

My dad told me what I should do

But maybe I outgrow their voices in my head

Maybe they become possibilities

Of what I could do

Maybe what I needed from my mom and dad

When I was confused

Is the space to self soothe

A safe place to feel the confusion

So the path would become clear to me

Poetry | Writing

Like A Dried Pizza

Byjack December 2, 2023

Like A Dried Pizza

There is a dried pizza on my table

The last piece that I didn’t eat yesterday

It’s dry and cold

I feel I know what the pizza feels like

Last night

I didn’t sleep

All night

Tossing turning

Hoping the audiobook was loud enough

To tune out my thoughts

I felt so sure

In my stomach

That this was the end of the road for us

She isn’t the right one for me

I don’t know how I knew

But I knew it was over

I asked her to reassure me

And I felt her warmth

Like a blanket for a shivering man

I love her so much

I think about how vulnerable she is with me

I know she’s ready to stay with me forever

You don’t meet someone like that every day

The sadness in me

For once isn’t about comparison

It isn’t about comparing her with someone else

It’s just telling me

I can’t be with her any longer

I can’t keep up this act

I feel tired

So tired of explaining myself

Of feeling misunderstood

Yet

I don’t know

Her devotion feels like the cure for all pain

What is a drop of discomfort

For a lifetime of love?

Uncategorized | Workpost

Workpost 32: The Power of Belief

Byjack April 9, 2024August 25, 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPZj6Jp2ehE&ab_channel=Recap-kun

I saw this anime recapped last night and I felt it was really inspiring. It was about a guy who needs to create an unprofitable company in order to win money in a game. But in not fearing failure and instead trying to embrace it, he found it hard to not succeed. Obviously this is fiction, and people would find it easy to fail in real life, but there is a part of this that rings true for me.

When you aren’t afraid of failure, it is hard to stave off success. Everything is about having a strong mindset.

Today I want to just focus on the main ideas I said in my previous post:

You’re in my house
Take time, be patient
Be ok with silence
Take risks
Anything is possible

Writing

All That Matters Is Now

Byjack January 30, 2023

I just made a little discovery about the nature of “should” and regret. What should I do, what should I have done, what is the perfect next move. They are interesting ideas but they can sometimes limit our understanding of the truth.

It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, or what will happen in the future, only how we feel about them now.

That is why everything is about processing feelings and even the permission exercise processes feelings about the future. Nothing matters but now.

It doesn’t even make sense to think about the future and the past because all we can control is the now.

Because nothing matters but the moment, we can process the past, we can process the future, and make our decision from where we are on how to feel the present. We can make decisions from the vantage point of now. We can do things now. We can feel now.

All that Matters is Now

I was scared of the past

Scared of what I might find

I was scared of the future

Scared of what I might do

But the place where I stand right now

With all the things that brought me to this moment

And all the paths that move on from here

Is all that matters

There is nothing I should do

There is only feeling what is

Only discovering

Acting

Understanding

Waiting

Poetry | Writing

The Beauty of Eternal Loneliness

Byjack November 21, 2021December 2, 2021

The Beauty of Eternal Loneliness

When I met her

I felt whole

Her love

Insistant, constant

Made me feel safe

Made me feel free

Accepted

Made me want to feel

Devoted

But when the loneliness came back

I tried to lean

On her

And I leaned instead

On a wall of toothpicks

Left behind

When I fell

The toothpicks scattered around me

I’ve never felt more alone in my life

I tried to fill something missing in me

With her

So much

I forgot

No one is forever

We are alone

From the moment we draw our first

To the last

And when I tried to desperately fill

The loneliness with her

The loneliness that was a part of me

I also lost

The one person

Who was there

Before she came

After she leaves

The only one

Who can be alone together

With me

There is no shame in loving hard, loving deeply. All love comes with sadness and a special sort of sadness that can be so unbearable we try to cover its beauty. But don’t be afraid. Love is the most beautiful emotion we feel.

We seeks people who can heal us, compliment us and challenge us. It is the best thing in the world to seek out such people. Finding other people can be the most rewarding experience ever.

However, when we feel lonely, it reminds us to ask ourselves the question:

How do I feel? Let the answer come to you.
What would make you happy? What if you gave yourself permission to fail?

If we worry too much about losing someone:

We feel the feelings
A reminder that we are always alone
We let our frustration out in a way that feels good (running, hitting something)
Creating art that feels good
Focus on the present, that is all that exists

We should never be afraid to love. But we should be afraid of trying to replace ourselves with them.

Business | Career | Strategy

Profit in Peace 22: Feeling Like Shit

Byjack December 24, 2023December 27, 2023

I feel like total shit. I didn’t sleep well and the back of my eyes hurt and I’m tired and bleary and a little cold. It is taking everything to not play games all day. I feel what gives me anxiety in this house isn’t just the expectations from my parents…but also the amount of stuff. There is too much stuff to feel comfortable around here. To feel calm.

I have been thinking about this idea a lot. The idea of “Whatever you feel the world is withholding from you is what you withhold from the world.”

I feel that this can help with a lot of the turmoil in my mind.

Poetry | Writing

What Should I Do?

Byjack December 21, 2022December 21, 2022

What Should I Do?

Every time I am afraid

I feel confused and helpless

I ask myself

What should I do?

My mom told me what I should do

My dad told me what I should do

But maybe I outgrow their voices in my head

Maybe they become possibilities

Of what I could do

Maybe what I needed from my mom and dad

When I was confused

Is the space to self soothe

A safe place to feel the confusion

So the path would become clear to me

Poetry | Writing

Like A Dried Pizza

Byjack December 2, 2023

Like A Dried Pizza

There is a dried pizza on my table

The last piece that I didn’t eat yesterday

It’s dry and cold

I feel I know what the pizza feels like

Last night

I didn’t sleep

All night

Tossing turning

Hoping the audiobook was loud enough

To tune out my thoughts

I felt so sure

In my stomach

That this was the end of the road for us

She isn’t the right one for me

I don’t know how I knew

But I knew it was over

I asked her to reassure me

And I felt her warmth

Like a blanket for a shivering man

I love her so much

I think about how vulnerable she is with me

I know she’s ready to stay with me forever

You don’t meet someone like that every day

The sadness in me

For once isn’t about comparison

It isn’t about comparing her with someone else

It’s just telling me

I can’t be with her any longer

I can’t keep up this act

I feel tired

So tired of explaining myself

Of feeling misunderstood

Yet

I don’t know

Her devotion feels like the cure for all pain

What is a drop of discomfort

For a lifetime of love?

Uncategorized | Workpost

Workpost 32: The Power of Belief

Byjack April 9, 2024August 25, 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPZj6Jp2ehE&ab_channel=Recap-kun

When you aren’t afraid of failure, it is hard to stave off success. Everything is about having a strong mindset.

Today I want to just focus on the main ideas I said in my previous post:

You’re in my house
Take time, be patient
Be ok with silence
Take risks
Anything is possible

Writing

All That Matters Is Now

Byjack January 30, 2023

It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, or what will happen in the future, only how we feel about them now.

That is why everything is about processing feelings and even the permission exercise processes feelings about the future. Nothing matters but now.

It doesn’t even make sense to think about the future and the past because all we can control is the now.

All that Matters is Now

I was scared of the past

Scared of what I might find

I was scared of the future

Scared of what I might do

But the place where I stand right now

With all the things that brought me to this moment

And all the paths that move on from here

Is all that matters

There is nothing I should do

There is only feeling what is

Only discovering

Acting

Understanding

Waiting

Poetry | Writing

The Beauty of Eternal Loneliness

Byjack November 21, 2021December 2, 2021

The Beauty of Eternal Loneliness

When I met her

I felt whole

Her love

Insistant, constant

Made me feel safe

Made me feel free

Accepted

Made me want to feel

Devoted

But when the loneliness came back

I tried to lean

On her

And I leaned instead

On a wall of toothpicks

Left behind

When I fell

The toothpicks scattered around me

I’ve never felt more alone in my life

I tried to fill something missing in me

With her

So much

I forgot

No one is forever

We are alone

From the moment we draw our first

To the last

And when I tried to desperately fill

The loneliness with her

The loneliness that was a part of me

I also lost

The one person

Who was there

Before she came

After she leaves

The only one

Who can be alone together

With me

We seeks people who can heal us, compliment us and challenge us. It is the best thing in the world to seek out such people. Finding other people can be the most rewarding experience ever.

However, when we feel lonely, it reminds us to ask ourselves the question:

How do I feel? Let the answer come to you.
What would make you happy? What if you gave yourself permission to fail?

If we worry too much about losing someone:

We feel the feelings
A reminder that we are always alone
We let our frustration out in a way that feels good (running, hitting something)
Creating art that feels good
Focus on the present, that is all that exists

We should never be afraid to love. But we should be afraid of trying to replace ourselves with them.

Business | Career | Strategy

Profit in Peace 22: Feeling Like Shit

Byjack December 24, 2023December 27, 2023

I have been thinking about this idea a lot. The idea of “Whatever you feel the world is withholding from you is what you withhold from the world.”

I feel that this can help with a lot of the turmoil in my mind.

Poetry | Writing

What Should I Do?

Byjack December 21, 2022December 21, 2022

What Should I Do?

Every time I am afraid

I feel confused and helpless

I ask myself

What should I do?

My mom told me what I should do

My dad told me what I should do

But maybe I outgrow their voices in my head

Maybe they become possibilities

Of what I could do

Maybe what I needed from my mom and dad

When I was confused

Is the space to self soothe

A safe place to feel the confusion

So the path would become clear to me

Poetry | Writing

Like A Dried Pizza

Byjack December 2, 2023

Like A Dried Pizza

There is a dried pizza on my table

The last piece that I didn’t eat yesterday

It’s dry and cold

I feel I know what the pizza feels like

Last night

I didn’t sleep

All night

Tossing turning

Hoping the audiobook was loud enough

To tune out my thoughts

I felt so sure

In my stomach

That this was the end of the road for us

She isn’t the right one for me

I don’t know how I knew

But I knew it was over

I asked her to reassure me

And I felt her warmth

Like a blanket for a shivering man

I love her so much

I think about how vulnerable she is with me

I know she’s ready to stay with me forever

You don’t meet someone like that every day

The sadness in me

For once isn’t about comparison

It isn’t about comparing her with someone else

It’s just telling me

I can’t be with her any longer

I can’t keep up this act

I feel tired

So tired of explaining myself

Of feeling misunderstood

Yet

I don’t know

Her devotion feels like the cure for all pain

What is a drop of discomfort

For a lifetime of love?

Uncategorized | Workpost

Workpost 32: The Power of Belief

Byjack April 9, 2024August 25, 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPZj6Jp2ehE&ab_channel=Recap-kun

When you aren’t afraid of failure, it is hard to stave off success. Everything is about having a strong mindset.

Today I want to just focus on the main ideas I said in my previous post:

You’re in my house
Take time, be patient
Be ok with silence
Take risks
Anything is possible

Writing

All That Matters Is Now

Byjack January 30, 2023

It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, or what will happen in the future, only how we feel about them now.

That is why everything is about processing feelings and even the permission exercise processes feelings about the future. Nothing matters but now.

It doesn’t even make sense to think about the future and the past because all we can control is the now.

All that Matters is Now

I was scared of the past

Scared of what I might find

I was scared of the future

Scared of what I might do

But the place where I stand right now

With all the things that brought me to this moment

And all the paths that move on from here

Is all that matters

There is nothing I should do

There is only feeling what is

Only discovering

Acting

Understanding

Waiting

Poetry | Writing

The Beauty of Eternal Loneliness

Byjack November 21, 2021December 2, 2021

The Beauty of Eternal Loneliness

When I met her

I felt whole

Her love

Insistant, constant

Made me feel safe

Made me feel free

Accepted

Made me want to feel

Devoted

But when the loneliness came back

I tried to lean

On her

And I leaned instead

On a wall of toothpicks

Left behind

When I fell

The toothpicks scattered around me

I’ve never felt more alone in my life

I tried to fill something missing in me

With her

So much

I forgot

No one is forever

We are alone

From the moment we draw our first

To the last

And when I tried to desperately fill

The loneliness with her

The loneliness that was a part of me

I also lost

The one person

Who was there

Before she came

After she leaves

The only one

Who can be alone together

With me

We seeks people who can heal us, compliment us and challenge us. It is the best thing in the world to seek out such people. Finding other people can be the most rewarding experience ever.

However, when we feel lonely, it reminds us to ask ourselves the question:

How do I feel? Let the answer come to you.
What would make you happy? What if you gave yourself permission to fail?

If we worry too much about losing someone:

We feel the feelings
A reminder that we are always alone
We let our frustration out in a way that feels good (running, hitting something)
Creating art that feels good
Focus on the present, that is all that exists

We should never be afraid to love. But we should be afraid of trying to replace ourselves with them.

Business | Career | Strategy

Profit in Peace 22: Feeling Like Shit

Byjack December 24, 2023December 27, 2023

I have been thinking about this idea a lot. The idea of “Whatever you feel the world is withholding from you is what you withhold from the world.”

I feel that this can help with a lot of the turmoil in my mind.

What She Saw In Me

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