Taking Care of Myself

Byjack
Taking Care of Myself

It’s the hardest thing

The first instinct is to fix it

To figure out what would I need to do

To make it work

It’s hard to let that go, and take time for myself

To do the things that I need to do

I’m starting to figure out the mystery of why I lost motivation

And that clarity gives me hope

My first instinct would be to tell her

What was missing for me in the relationship

What I need for me to want this again

But maybe she doesn’t want to hear it

Maybe it’s too much for her already

And I know it is too soon anyway

I need to forgive myself

Be loving to myself

Sleep

Take care of myself

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Sova Fanart 3: Class Unit 1 Day 3

Byjack

It’s been a full week since I last drew for this drawing competition. I’ve been feeling a lot of dread because there are so many details in drawing Sova and I don’t feel any closer to getting better at him because it takes so long to draw a full figure.

I drew for a full hour but didn’t get very far.

Here was the reference:

Here is my rough sketch:

And here is my lineart:

The lines don’t feel that confident and don’t seem to be creating forms, more just tracing lines.

I feel that I need to slow down. I like the idea of the exercises but I feel that they need to be broken down further into smaller syllabi. Since I don’t have much time to draw every day and each task every day feels a bit daunting and overwhelming, I need to break them down further to learn at a fast rate.

I also wish I could draw from the live model, but the issue is that you can’t hold an active shot (like shooting or doing the ultimate).

At the same time, I said I would embrace failure and I did. I still believe in my overall plan and I believe when I look back, this will actually be helpful even though its painful right now.

The Jiujitsu Challenge

Byjack

I honestly don’t really know what I want to say about this challenge.

I know I wanted to learn jiu jitsu but it was for a number of reasons.

Firstly, I could feel myself falling apart and I couldn’t bring myself to work out. I’ve always loved martial arts and jiu jitsu was always something that I wanted to learn as a martial artist because of its practicality and strengthening an area of fighting that I am particularly weak in – which is grappling.

Secondly, I wanted to see more people in real life and make more friends. My girlfriend joined a running class and it helped her get into exercising more and also just interact with more people. I wanted to do the same with something that I love, which is fighting.

So I signed up to a jiu jitsu gym, one that I was really excited about because it specializes in no gi grappling (10th planet), but now that I’m rolling a few times a week, I kind of don’t know where to go.

I worry about my knee a lot, and that actually has given me more motivation to continue working out.

I feel much happier and have more energy after going to class. I feel myself getting stronger and having better posture.

But I still don’t know what to challenge myself with.

How to Be Good At Anything

Byjack

There is a realization I have recently been coming to slowly and it’s transforming my life.

It is weird because I’ve known this for a long time – I used to say that in order to master something, you need to focus on what feels uncomfortable (not on what is easy).

I don’t know what the new part of the realization is, but something has changed.

My new mentality is to always focus on what is unknown. For things that are logical (like the selling process) logically figure it out. For things that are artistic, form a vision and idea and feel it out.

Back Home

Byjack

After almost 3 months away from home, I’m finally back and I’m reminded of the life I built here. Peaceful, open, free, and lonely. There are so many possibilities and spaciousness to fill my life with wonderful things.

Today I want to focus my time in building the life that I want to live in the next few months when I will be transitioning to a part time role in my day job in order to spend more time on coaching and building my life up.

Here are some things I want to do:

  1. Unpack
  2. Clean & Tidy
  3. Cut my nails
  4. Look into Gi Doctors
  5. Look into a sleep study
  6. Spend some time with the gf
  7. Cook food
  8. Plan my trip with my brother and sister
  9. Cross off any remaining things on my todo list

Basically, I want to have a clean slate for the next stage of things such as:

  1. Finding a part time gig where I can exercise without hurting myself
  2. Signing back up for jiujitsu
  3. Editing youtube shorts of coaching sessions
  4. Setting up more coaching sessions
  5. Working on sales plays for AI consulting
  6. Researching into buying a house

I went for a morning walk and I wanted to express some appreciation that I gained from my journeys.

Parents House, appreciations for:

  • Health
  • Cooking
  • Playing games with my brother

France, appreciation for:

  • Walking
  • Beauty of old buildings
  • Cuddling

My happiest times in my parent’s house were eating food, and spending time with my brother and parents.

My happiest times in France were spending time with my girlfriend and coming up with crazy schemes.

I was also stressed in both places. In my parent’s house, it was being watched by my parents. In France, I felt very unsafe. Unsafe in stores, on the streets, unsafe in the Airbnb (afraid to break or spill things), unsafe while working (afraid not to be productive).

I think safety is something I want to work on as France is somewhere I would like to feel more at home at.

Valorant 18: Strafe Clearing

Byjack

I’ve been killing it on the aim front. In deathmatch, I absolutely own.

I have been working on a new aiming mechanic, what I like to call the strafing clear. First, I went from silver all the way to gold simply off of working on my site clears. A few things I noted:

  • Practicing in custom matches is extreemly helpful
  • Way more helpful than DM flicks
  • Close angles call for very small clears, big angles are for big wide swings

I’ve been trying to pair this with the counter strafing mechanic and I think I figured out something.

Simply by paying attention to which side of the head you expect your crosshair to be on, you can get a much better strafing shot when you peek/clear an angle.

When you clear, you shoot like normal, if your shot is off, you adjust in the direction you need to.

I'm clearing CT, getting ready to clear the other side of container.
I see the Omen when I clear, I know my crosshair is on his left. So I need to adjust right.
I strafe right onto his head.
Instant headshot.

Let’s say you are clearing one angle, and an enemy pops up on your right. Your crosshair is far to the left of your target, so you quickly adjust, while strafing to the right to line up the perfect flick.

This is extremely useful because not only does this mean that your shots can be super accurate, it means you are moving a lot and making it extreemly hard to hit you (or atleast headshot you).

I think the coolest part, is when you strafe out in one direction, realize the enemy is to the other side of your crosshair so you strafe in the other direction to get the shot.

I also abuse the hit slow (how you freeze if you are hit) to get better accuracy and try to tap the enemy down if I am stopped midstrafe.

That being said, I think that there are a couple of different types of aiming mechanics in Valorant.

  1. Spray control – used for wall spams and smoke spams and long gun fights
  2. Strafing – used for clearing and gun fights out in the open
  3. Distance shooting – used for really far fights
  4. Holding – used to hold again specific peaks

Spray control

  • Got no real strat. Just try to watch the bullet tracers

Strafing

  • Watch the relationship between the crosshair and the head (whether left or right). Details are above

Distance Shooting

  • Use a lot of movement-based aiming for really accurate shots. Tap fire.

Holding

  • Prepare to duck behind cover, spray a few shots and duck back.