Today I got a formal eye exam. The results are to be expected. I started using the computer a lot more, and I am very tired (from staying up late). My prescription is about half a diopter than 2-3 years ago.
My plan is to buy from Zenni optical (1.5 diopters lower) and if I am able to improve my vision from there, I will reach out to a bunch of eyewear boutiques to see if they will give me a deal for lots of lenses I want to buy.
My measurements are 143 mm for frame width, 15 mm bridge width, 132 mm temple arm, my PD is 64 mm.
I’m trying out these frames: https://www.zennioptical.com/p/unisex-fullrim-acetate-plastic-square-eyeglass-frames/2067?skuId=206725
Total came out to be about $52 dollars. I really need a better option if I get my vision better.
Measurement today is 11 cm. 100/11 = 9 diopters
So figures that the prescription came out higher today.
Ok, it has been three days and every single day this week, my peace has been disrupted. Things are blowing up at work yet again and I don’t have the space and time that I need to think and introspect and work on my own things.
A couple of big wins:
As per my sleep challenge, my sleep routine has never been better. I’m sticking to the 11 PM bedtime and go to sleep before 11:30 PM. I enjoy the nighttime winddown with journaling and cupping.
My morning routine remains steadfast and strong. Even though sometimes I only have 30 minutes, or I have to get up at 4 AM, every single morning, I get up and check in with my emotions. I’ve added the breathing, I love you, and left handing brushing routine and it has been going well.
I have a pretty clear boundary where I end work around 5 PM, and I don’t really stray very much from that.
So today’s challenge is not about working to further my coaching practice in any way, to work on reviewing VODs or editing my Instagram page or Instagram videos. It is simply about how to transform the chaos and stress that dominate the middle of my day and transform it into peace.
I have the French challenge coming up, and I want to be able to reliably work on that without being pulled all sorts of directions.
A little of introspection and meditation about it reveals to me that the reason why I’m so stressed is because I’m trying to control things that are out of my control. However, I feel the need to control things because I feel that there are many things threatening my boundaries.
The key maybe to have strong clear boundaries and needs, and to work on communicating them and to let go of controlling everything else.
Boundaries & Needs:
I need my own time, I do not want to work any later than 5 consistently or earlier than 9 consistently.
I need to be treated with respect, for my time and opinions to be valued, my accomplishments and skills recognized.
I want to be honest to myself and others.
I want to work with integrity and empathy.
I want to operate with the idea that anything is possible.
What I would like to do today, is before going into any meeting, remind myself of these boundaries and needs and ask myself, what is out of my control, what is within my control.
I just came back from standup paddleboarding and I feel really really good. Everything is clear and easy to see. I need to find a way to go and play on the water more.
I also was thinking about how if the eye is constantly in a state of contraction, we might need to do some sort of massage in order to help loosen and relax the ligaments and the muscles. I don’t know yet what kind of massage will work. All the current massages only target the areas around the eyes.
I wasn’t able to test my vision on my phone because it is out of battery but I tested on very small text on a book an the results are mindblowing.
Today in looking into how to increase strength and mobility into the tendons and ligaments, I made an exciting discovery and change in direction.
I’ve heard of the Knees Over Toes Guy ever since I went to Thai Massage and the massage therapist told me that he helped a lot with his knee injuries from doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
I know this challenge was to make my knee stronger just for going to Zion National Park, but this changes things completely.
The Knees Over Toes Guy has a program that costs about $50 per month. I decided to try it out as part of this challenge…but also as part of a bigger effort to regain my life. For the longest time, I have been searching for something that would let me be active again in life. Specifically, I want to get back into martial arts and work on Jiu Jitsu, wrestling and striking. I know that is completely impossible right now since I can’t even sleep on my side without pain in my knee.
This guy has renewed hope in me because apparently he was struggling with knee pain for 10 years and has had 6 surgeries and now is able to play basketball with zero pain even though he is pushing his body farther than ever (now dunks the ball).
This of course, changes my approach to the challenge and I need to rewrite my syllabus. I didn’t want to get rid of the syllabus because that is what has created such happiness and progress in all my challenges, but this is an excellent opportunity to improve the process. I have always felt that rigidly following something even when it isn’t the best path anymore is inefficient and wastes time. Being able to adapt the syllabus when you feel a major shift (not just all the time for no reason) makes a lot of sense.
There is a major shift that needs to happen because I realized that the current syllabus is not perfect due to the fact that even day 1 I realized that all exercises involve muscles, fascia and ligaments and tendons, yet they are all spread out over days in the syllabus and that makes no sense.
So here is my revised syllabus:
Days until Zion: 8
UNIT 2: Testing Knees Over Toes
Day 1 – Surface Tissues
UNIT 2: Testing Knees Over Toes
Day 1 – Day 5 – ATG workouts (Zero Program)
UNIT 3: Recovery
Day 1 – Cooling and antioxidation Day 2 – Cleansing and Fasting Day 3 – Fortifying and Nutrition
I’ve been feeling pretty lost as of late. I am thinking about my youtube channel, about my job, about coaching, about my health and about my challenges with youtube and fitness. I’ve been stressed out about all these different things and I don’t really know how to tackle all of them at the same time. I don’t know what to focus on, which ones makes sense to put energy into, and how I will go about focusing on any of these things.
I’ve been feeling depressed, overwhelmed and depleted, constantly self medicating with youtube videos and games.
Recently, I’ve been inspired by this video:
Health is everything. If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you don’t have to choose between that and health. You will be a better entrepreneur with better health.
I want to drop all of my other challenges and focus on this for a while.
I want to focus on my health.
I thought about what this meant for quite a while because health is such a nebulous topic. I feel that Brian Johnson in project Blueprint is taking a very scientific approach to health, but I want to take a more personal approach.
Here are the areas that I care about:
Mood: How positive and happy I feel overall
Passion for life: How motivated I feel about life, relationships and projects
Energy: How energetic and strong I feel
Flow: how in the moment and attuned to my body’s sensations I feel
Attractiveness: how healthy I look
Some ideas of times that I can measure these things:
When I wake up: great for seeing how well I slept
Around 10 AM: good for checking up on my morning routine
Around 3 PM: good for checking on my afternoon routine
Before I go to bed: good to seeing the cumulative effect of the day and how fulfilled I feel
I’ve tried these type of challenges before, but I feel that I sort of neglected the mental part of health, feeling healthier physically but mentally trapped and unhappy. I want to really commit to doing video journaling this entire time in order to make sure that I can express myself and work through mental challenges.
What would mean success to me is not just feeling much more happy, passionate, energetic, in flow and attractive, but also to create a lifestyle, mindset and routine that will maintain and grow that over time.
Today we are going back to the Valorant Challenge but from a different perspective.
I strongly felt that the one time when I didn’t feel stressed at all, but instead felt the timings of the enemy and where they could be, and how I could systematically take them apart, I was playing Valorant at a significantly higher level.
Some thoughts for today:
Closing eyes to mental reset
Playing music to hype up
Breathing and letting the energy carry the action
Most of all, I will endeavor to feel out the enemy’s position and figure out how I can take the map piece by piece with util, teamwork and aim diff.
I will create another post after the game to review how that went.
There was a big journey I went down in terms of working on myself, becoming more mature and being able to live a free and meaningful life.
I started by thinking that you needed to meet your own needs
Then I thought you needed to be good at asking for your needs
And finally, I thought you needed to process traumas and emotions
But I realized that they are all part of the same things and have different parts to play.
In a way, everything is about not abandoning yourself and taking care of yourself. You surround yourself with people who you can talk about what is on your mind truthfully and emotionally. They help you understand what you need. You are able to then give yourself what you need and walk down further along the path of understanding different parts of yourself that are in pain.
From processing emotions, we can truly love ourselves, and the people around us, and be present in the moment.
There is a sense that being with people who don’t accept us, don’t allow us to feel safe speaking our truth is self abandoment. In a way, even if someone meets some of our needs (for example is attractive enough to make us feel special), if we settle for someone who doesn’t love us or allow us to be ourselves, we are putting ourselves down.
Not allowing ourselves to meet our own needs (for example, asking for validation from others because we refuse to give it to ourselves) is self abandonment.
Refusing to look deeper, and shielding parts of ourselves from the world (for example, keeping a confident outward appearance when we feel anxious) is abandoning parts of ourselves and placing the outside world’s comfort above our own.
