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We Played A Game
We Played A Game
The other day
We played a game
It had butterflies in it
My heart felt like a butterfly then
Light in my chest
Now it feels more like the stones
I picked off the ground
Heavy
And painful
As if I swallowed it
And it got stuck
Halfway down
We joked about her being a housewife
I would like that
To put everything that stresses her out
Safety away
And the only thing she would have to worry about
Is me
My desires
And the hunger I have
Like a fire
So ravenous, it threatens to take us both
We could take care of each other
Like in the game
But life isn’t a game
It’s not enough to just don’t starve
You have to forge your path through life
Create the road you walk on
I would be happy to be her home
Her comfort
If she could just find her way to me
Workpost 3: Pleasant Uncertainty
Today I feel a bit like there is a lot of uncertainty. There is uncertainty with my coaching business and with my career as an AI consultant, but there are also lots of opportunities moving forward.
I want to strive to move forwards and not start to distract myself from the emotions via games and videos.
The first thing I want to tackle is sleep. That is my main priority today. I want to understand why I feel unfulfilled at night, like something wasn’t quite done.
My intuition tells me that I desire to create art. I don’t know why.
Perhaps my first step is to start working on art at 9:30 PM.
Before that I want to achieve something in Valorant, so I will need to do some gaming earlier in the day.
I also desire to work on myself more, I think it really helps to think about emotional development as work. When I think about it as vulnerability, it feels not productive. But when I think of it as emotional work, it takes on new meaning and purpose.
Ok so lets take a look at my two projects right now:
So for my AI Consulting plan, I want to stick to the plan, but the timeline has changed a bit.
I wanted this current goal (Be known, give preview of consulting) to finish by Feb 27th. That leaves 7 days to film, shoot, edit and get feedback.
UNIT ONE (ends 23rd): Shoot 3 videos
- Spend total of 3 hours per video (9 hours total)
UNIT TWO (ends 24th): Write 2 LinkedIn posts
- Spend total of 1.5 hrs per post (3 hrs total)
UNIT THREE (ends 26th): Get feedback, harden process
Looking at my goal for art coaching, I feel dissatisfied with my current structure on process for that. I feel I need to work on finding more ambitious and exciting goals at every step of the way (even if I have a lot of time to get there). I realized in order for the syllabus method to work, you need to have very ambitious exciting goal…then think about how to make it difficult to expect anything other than success.
So let’s revisit the master plan here.
Goal: Ramp up to an income of 8333 per month (100k per year) within one year
I want to choose a new goal…make 1500 per week in coaching.
I want to achieve this within the next 3 months.
UNIT ONE (1 month): Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month
- Create plans (10 days, ends March 2nd)
- Deeply understanding clients
- Creating extreme focus and presence in life and sessions
- Developing connections clients need
- Materials and exercises to create and track strategy
- Execute on plans (10 days, ends March 12th)
- Research and refinement (10 days, ends March 22nd)
- Interview other coaches
- Read books
- Further brainstorming
UNIT TWO (1 month): Build 100 hot leads – depends on having free stuff
- Random try posting (10 days, ends April 1st)
- Get feedback and do networking and outreach (10 days, ends April 11th)
- Turn warm leads into hot leads with offer (10 days, ends April 21st)
UNIT THREE (1 month): Meld and combine top level coaching with leads machine
- Talk about my clients achievements, use it to push their art (10 days, ends May 1st)
- Clients have voice on my platform to talk about concepts in my coaching (10 days, ends May 11th)
- Refine call for action to get warm leads to ask for my offer, then turn into hot leads (10 days, ends May 21st)
Okok, I finally have a good framework, but working on this framework makes me realize I really do need to work on free products in the meantime.
Goal: Create free products in 1 month
UNIT ONE (10 days, ends March 2nd): Complete research
- Transcribe and think, what is the million dollar problem or breakthrough?
- Collate results, come up with solutions
- Research competition
UNIT TWO (10 days, ends March 12th): Develop products
- Planning and gathering materials doing research
- Create products
UNIT THREE (10 days, ends March 22nd): Continue development
- Testing and creating more products
Sloths in a City in France
Sloths in a City in France
When I was still able to walk
I remember her in a white dress
Softer than I imagined
Nervous like a little garment blowing about in the wind
I can see the train station where we first argued
The stones in the road where I sat
My knee hurting
She was there with me
The door with the dresser next to it
The WIFI on the little table
The blooming orange trees on the sunny streets
I remember going to Cannes
And having an argument
And its funny even that memory
Is a fond and warm one for me
A reminder of sunnier days
Someone you love
And the time we spent together
Holding hands
Like the first time on the train
The Darkest Night
The Darkest Night
Ice fills my heart
When I think of the darkest night
Darkness
Drunk confusion
Was it worth it
To take the soft girl
And break her soul
That night
Leave her
Exposed
Vignette on the bed like a polaroid
Did you grin and smile
Lamplight on your face
On the parking lot
Beer in hand
While your friends
Moved on to the next party
In this poem I’m letting myself feel and process feelings of deep shock, dissociation, anger, fear, visceral graphic-ness and endless night.
Letting the Chips Fall
Letting The Chips Fall
I think about seeing her
I want it tomorrow
I want it in the next minute
In the next second
To feel the warmth of her smile
Hear her little laugh
And sometimes, I worry
It will never happen
That life will keep us apart
I know that there are certain problems that need to be solved
Problems don’t go away I told her
She avoids them anyway
Until they are about to ruin everything
I hate her for making me feel
There is no hope left
That she accuses me of just stressing her out
Lashes out at me angrily
I feel pain because I know
She loves me
And wants to make me happy
Maybe I was too hard on her
But can I take the pain
Of watching everything burn
Letting the problems stack up against us
She’s so sensitive
And beautiful
And soft and understanding
Perhaps, I can be strong enough
To feel the fear
That I will lose her
I often cope with feelings of fear by trying to solve problems and remove obstacles. It’s who I am. It is the hardest thing to just let something I want more than anything slip away. Maybe I’m too hard on people, on myself for trying to fix everything. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy where life is right now, and process your fear and just trust everything will work itself out.
Workpost 49: Onwards
Make up something for the answers to each of my questions:
- What are my target audiences and how can I reach them in a way that is consistent with my vision?
- What is a way that my funnel will achieve my mission and vision in some way?
- How do I make the funnel effortless and almost self-perpetuating somehow?
AI Consulting
- Target audience is startup or small businesses
- My vision is to help them reach their full potential
- I think the best way to reach them is probably through a facebook funnel
- That means walking them through some free content, free newsletter, and possibly free community
- Maybe 3 offerings: strategic consulting, innovation project, business overhaul
- Strong brand on brighter future
- Once funnel is created, should be able to just talk to consultations, maybe live streams
Art Coaching
- Target market are people who are looking to or about to retire
- My vision is to foster the creation of more masterpieces
- Best way to reach them is to hand out business cards at conferences
- I think the best way to achieve my mission is by having some content on a website that is inspirational for artists, magical, fun, simple way to book a free consultation
- Create a business card that is magical and artsy
- Strong brand around dreams
- Once funnel is created, just go to conferences and hand out business cards
Ok, now that I worked through all of that, time to go through the same stuff as yesterday:
UNIT ONE: Logistics
- Log the new DBA documents
- Switch Epiphany AI over to a new account
- Switch expenses that are related to business over to new business bank account
- Apply for a second business credit card
UNIT TWO: Longterm planning
- Answer the question, how much time and money do I want to put into each experiment?
UNIT THREE: Business planning
- Finish business plans
- Finish financial plans
- Finish self growth plans
- Finish marketing plans
Final Updates:
- Brand for funnel of Art Coaching is children’s books, fairy tale, fantasy. The website is an invitation to start an adventure.
- Plan for AI consulting is to explore CRM pipelines such as Zoho, Zapier, and Hubspot