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Workpost 19: Rejection
I am slowly getting back into things. After completely messing up my bedtime, getting it back, getting sick, losing my bedtime again, I am finally getting back into the swing of things.
I want to refocus on the things that I set out to focus on: Health, AI Consulting, Art Coaching.
I want to have an 11-12 PM bedtime, journaling at night, morning walking meditation, and morning todo list and blog post.
Today on my morning walk I contemplated rejection.
You know I always felt that working on yourself made you more prepared for life in general and I always felt my fear of rejection was holding me back from a lot of things in life, initially from getting a girlfriend, but later from being a life coach.
Recently I had the experience of meeting with a client for a free session for which they were super impressed by but when I sent them my rates, they did not respond. This immediately triggered the rejection wounds within me. I also just had an artist interview who was late to our conversation, did not agree to the full hour, and did not want to schedule another time to complete our conversation which triggered rejection wounds within me.
I feel scared that if I ask for things, people will reject me. I’m afraid it will be awkward to talk to them afterwards, I’m afraid how others will view me after getting rejected.
This morning I came up with a couple of nuggets to handle and process rejection:
- Take up space: there is a part of me that wants to hide when people reject me. I want to take up as little space as possible. This concept is doing the opposite. I deserve to be here like everyone else. Take up space! Make the ask!
- Enthusiastic yes: I don’t want people to feel pressured. I am going to follow the philosophy on the Prosperous Coach. It’s either an enthusiastic yes, or its a no. Maybe is a no. And tell them that. If they are not sure, they know where to find you.
- Slow down: I realized this new revelation in Valorant has implications in life too. When I feel stressed about rejection and awkwardness, shame, and judgement, slow down. I usually try to speed up, to move past it. Slow way down, focus on what is going on before charging ahead.
- Stay busy, focus on the process not the outcome: one thing that I noticed, when I’m busy doing what matters, I won’t care as much about anything else. I want to focus on health, coaching and consulting. Don’t let anyone’s rejection take away from that. It’s like what they say about cold calling. Focus on the process, not the outcomes (focus on improving your process for cold calling, not for the outcome of every call).
Workpost 41: Enjoy Yourself
Today I did a long breathwork meditation session after feeling extremely stressed out about three questions:
- Should I sign up for jiujitsu again?
- Should I do coaching again?
- Should I continue therapy?
And all the worrying stressful sub questions:
- What about the money for jiujitsu
- Jiujitsu is so hard to get good at
- People might not buy my coaching if I didn’t do something really big
- Therapy costs so much money is it worth it?
And after the meditation, one thing was clear to me. The answer to everything: take everything so much less serious. Have fun!!!
If you have fun doing jiujitsu, sign up for it, go to classes when you feel like it. Have an amazing time doing work. If you love coaching, do it whether or not people believe that you are a good coach or not.
Enjoy yourself. Indulge yourself in boba while working. Take breaks to play on the piano, to draw.
P.S. I did sign up for jiujitsu, and I intend to have fun learning tons of new martial arts.
Workpost 39: Making the Most of It
This morning I had a very slow start. Seems to be the same for a lot of days.
I really really focused on the idea that everything could be turned into an advantage. And today, I realized that the reason why I have slow starts is because my stomach burns, aches, and has gnawing empty pain. It is so bad, it is hard to focus and feel motivated to work.
The opportunity this morning is to devise some techniques to help with my stomach and be able to test it with the worst possible conditions. In other words, if the techniques work now, they will work anytime.
I tried this video first, and it was pretty helpful.
Then I tried this video which was helpful, but too boring to finish:
Finally, I tried drinking hot tea, which seemed to help some as well.’
And then, even though my stomach starting feeling better, I ran into another problem with avengance.
This problem was simple. Absolutely no motivation to do anything, being that I still felt tired and overwhelmed. Instead, I wanted to play games and watch tv shows.
I’m going to take the same approach here: use this as an opportunity to test out some new ideas with productivity.
So I have many many techniques in this area already, but I want to innovate further today in a different direction instead of meditation, letting go, focus, etc.
I want to look at why, even in my overwhelmed state, do I want to play Valorant and Fallout Shelter, and how I can fundamentally apply the same things to the things I want to do.
Things I Want To Do
- Consulting work
- Linkedin posts
- Coaching work
- Working out
Before I forget, here are some additional mindsets I can add the useful pile:
- Walking to vent stress, find peace, ask tough questions, get answers
- Workpost is to innovate something
Main Reasons Why I Want to Play Valorant
- Can work on a specific skill like aim, movement, gamesense
- Want to level up really quick and be a top player
- Inspired by demon1, tenz, oxy, and aspas – want to be the best as well
- Like working with a team, getting clutch plays off, good vibes
Main Reasons Why I Want to Play Fallout Shelter
- Get control of my vault
- Satisfaction in optimizing my vault
- Satisfaction in leveling people up, and getting new weapons
Why It Is difficult to get the same feeling with work?
- There is no specific simple skill to work on
- Nothing I want to level up in
- No one to inspire me
- No team to work with
- Don’t feel in complete ownership of the project
- In a hurry to get it done
What skills am I excited want to work on in terms of work?
- Faster problem solving skills
- Intuition + precise logic for accurate but rapid decision making
- Ability to think deeper with less effort
- Memory and recall with less energy
What do I want to level up in terms of rank?
- Money
- Intellect
- Thought leadership
- Communication and charisma
Who do I draw inspiration from?
- Elon Musk
- Alex Hormozi
- Khalid Sharara
How might I work off my team more?
- Showing off the results of my work
How might I feel more in control of my work?
- Understand that charisma, leadership are part of what I need to own and protect my work, just because there are other players involved doesn’t mean I don’t own it
Using all this information, I want to develop a unit of work, called a “game” or “match” to simulate what I do in Valorant. In Valorant you play a match with a clear objective, and you warm up before the game, and take breaks after the game.
Game Structure
Warmup: 15 minutes
Use to do list, practice one skill at a time:
- Faster problem solving/solution creation skills
- Intuition + precise logic for accurate but rapid decision making
- Ability to think deeper with less effort
- Memory and recall with less energy
Main game: 45 minutes
Fights:
Capture questions and answers.
Level up in:
- Money
- Intellect
- Thought leadership
- Communication and charisma
Result Calculation:
- How much do I think this work is worth?
- How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10?
- What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation?
- Gains in communication and charisma?
Workpost 82: Returning to fundamentals
It’s been a while since I journaled on here.
I feel very tired at the moment, but I’m glad that I’m taking a step back and returning to my fundamentals.
What was the purpose of “Workposts” to begin with? It was a chance to practice being in the higher energies that I tap into with my coaching and plan out my days with it:
- You’re in my house
- Have patience
- Be ok with silence
- Take big risks
Today I am feeling into going fast and slow with two main projects.
First project, I want to move fast, with some long stretches of work, which is my YouTube video that I intend on shooting today. Here is the general structure of the video I’m pondering over:
- “Shorts shorts short shorts shorts” while holding up different shorts and smiling at the last one with a YT shorts logo
- “Ok so today, I’m taking these three viral Youtube Shorts and creating my take on them. My name is Jack and you’re watching episode 12 of the Youtube Challenge.”
- “Welcome back to the Youtube Challenge, the challenge where I work through my emotional blocks to find out how to make the Content Creation process fun for myself by posting a new video every single day.”
- “A quick update from yesterday, I was feeling very sad and depressed about my progress thus far on YouTube, and today I’m doing a little better. I noticed that in the process of shooting a video every single day, I’ve neglected the rest of my health and my day job and today I returned to the routines and systems that work for me. Like journaling in the morning and planning out my day.”
- “One big epiphany I has was that every time I reach for my phone for distraction, I am feeling some intense physical discomfort and that I could feel much better by not picking up the phone but instead physically self soothing myself with stuff like rocking.”
- “Well anyway, this video is about the shorts, so lets get into the shorts”
- Viral short 1
- React to short
- Broll of editing my take
- Viral short 2
- React to short
- Broll of editing my take
- Viral short 3
- React to short
- Broll of editing my take
- “That’s it for today, make sure you like comment and subscribe, peace”
The second project is going to be a slow thing that I chip away at throughout the entire day. Slow and steady wins the race right? This project has to do with a client I have, and I want to get them to an overall perfect state with at least no complaints for a while.
Let’s create a DOD:
Project: Undisclosed Client
Facts:
This project should improve product accuracy and usefulness
The deliverables I expect to see are new feature successfully deployed with a 60%+ first try success rate
This must be completed by today
Feelings:
When this is done, I will feel in control and confident about the product and customer relationship
Future:
When this is done, I will be able to focus fully on marketing efforts
Workpost 26: My Way
My Way
Anger in my heart
Ripping tearing
Destroy all the people
Who don’t understand me
Who want to tell me what to do
What I’m worth
I hate them all
With every fiber of my being
If I could burn their existence and wipe them from the planet I would
I’m so tired of fighting
I’m so tired of having to rely on others to do what I want to do
I’m so tired
I feel hopeless sometimes
Like there is no way out of this horrid existence
Where I am trapped
I breathed and breathed
And in the breath
I remembered
That I don’t need to let anyone control me
Only one person can live my life
No one else can touch me
They can’t hurt me and they can’t control me
I can do things my way
I did a little IFS therapy on myself and here are the parts that came up:
- Black Hatred: This is a protector of some sort that prevents other people from taking me off course of what I want to do. It does this through extreme anger against people who don’t understand me and box me into what they feel my limitations are.
- Mind Reader: The mind reader is always calculating what other people want in order to prevent the painful feelings around rejection and failure.
I reminded Black Hatred that I am 31 years old and he no longer needs to protect me since no one has any hold over me anymore. I can do whatever I want to do. I promised him that I will remain true to myself.
I reminded Mind Reader that I am 31 and I am fully capable with dealing with failure, and that at my age, failure helps keep the boredom away. I promised him that I will take care of myself and give myself time, space, comfort, and support.
Workpost 52: Exhausted
I’m so tired from being sleep-deprived for a few days now.
Today I want to focus on a couple of things:
- Completing all the hours of work I want to get done
- Focusing on my health
- Get screws from Home Depot