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Valorant 26: Back to Basics

So I’ve been stuck in Silver 3 forever after the rank reset and it seems that I need to do a second climb to Plat again. Perhaps I just need to relearn the basics better.

So there is a peeking guide by Noted that I’ve been trying to apply for the longest time and I think I finally understand a good mentality and visualization that can make the peeks good. It is interesting because I’ve been feeling so down about Valorant recently but I always tell myself that the lower elo I go, the more freedom I have to innovate, and innovation is definitely the thing I like to do.

So here is Noted’s peeking guide:

He talks in the peeking guide that its just something you “get used to”. But I wanted to find a way to break it down do that anyone could learn it and that you would never overpeak and angle even if you are not far away enough. This idea of drawing a line to the contested “fighting area” allows for a simple visualisation that will ensure you don’t overpeak, and to do noted’s peek, you simply have to think about drawing a longer line.

I demonstrate it here:

Another note, the best way to peak safely with this method is to have the “line” end close to the edge of the wall, allowing you to peek back in if you miss your shot.

The next piece I might need to refine is just counter strafing because that still isn’t that solid for me, especially for moving targets that I need to constantly adjust for. The initial research into this yields that miyagi-do/looking at distance between crosshair and head is the best solution so far. Results have been good, but it hurts my wrist. I am experimenting with a looser grip and using more of the arm to aim.

Here is a good video on it:

Sales Conference Health 3: Transitioning Home

Yesterday I came home, and I felt that I met my goal. I literally felt better than when I first left home.

Now, this fact was immediately undercut by the fact that I went to bed at 3:40 AM in the morning. I was dealing with a great deal of discomfort, perhaps from being home and the taxi ride where I felt like I couldn’t leave. The taxi driver was trying very hard to preach Christianity to me. I feel perhaps the permission exercise may be helpful here in order to give myself permission to leave, but also to stay and feel trapped.

Today when I woke up I felt completely horrible with lower back soreness, stomach issues, dry eyes and tense shoulders and back. My throat and nose felt acidic and burning and I felt sick.

I did the warmups in order of massage first, then stretching, then range of motion. I feel that I can take the warmup much further, so today, I did mental warmups and vocal warmups.

I wanted to do this mental warmup but it felt exhausting. I feel that I needed more of a meditation but maybe my mind just needs to be warmed up more.

Sales Conference Health 2: Morning Warmup

I’ve been doing pretty well on the social front of the Sales conference, keeping in touch with myself and keeping my boundaries. But the same problems that plague me at home, plague me here.

Specifically, sleep, or lack thereof. I’ve been exploring the feelings that keep me distracting myself with games, videos, and other things. I’m trying to understand this desire, this hunger for stimulation that I have within myself.

It feels like a hunger, and hunger comes from emptiness. I wonder what I am missing in my life. I feel that it might be blood flow. I want to feel like this amazing warmth and flow to my body where my mind and body is open and stimulated.

Meditation has been a great boon to me, I’ve used it to calm down, to get answers and to reduce the inflammation I feel from lack of sleep.

I’ve also explored other physical avenues such as stretching, warmups and self massage.

My feeling is that self-massage comes first, then, mobility exercises and finally stretching.

Here are some of the videos I did today that were pretty good:

But my journey in this has just begun.

I really feel the need to understand what is the appeal of gaming and watching interesting videos internally. Perhaps that isn’t even the key. Perhaps the key is to give myself more freedom and permission. Perhaps this is a trigger for caging myself in and shaming myself so I’m not fully in touch with myself.

I’ll at least give it a shot. I realize there is a big fear in me that if I let myself do what I want, my life will go off the rails. I am going to face that fear and feel it and see where it leads me.

Livestreaming

So I recently had my first Livestream ever on Youtube.

It was a lot of fun, and I created a really cool story excerpt and a painting, but I didn’t feel like I was in the moment enough and had enough of a connection to the audience. I felt like I was watching myself and out of my own body

Talking to multiple people, I’ve come up with some ideas:

  • Invite people to do something in their life that centers on presence that they have been putting off
    • Yoga, working out, drawing, painting, stretching, cleaning
  • Create a wheel of ridiculous things
    • Ask lots of questions and when I get little or no engagement, spin a wheel of ridiculous things
  • Create a discussion with people
  • Minimize the windows so I don’t see myself most of the time
  • Play recordings while I’m doing something
  • Create some sort of prize

The Sales Conference Health Challenge

I’m headed to Orlando, Florida today for a big sales event and I have created a challenge for myself.

I want to not only stay well (and avoid sickness) but also feel better after the conference.

Right now I’m suffering from the following symptoms:

  • Fatigue
  • Dry eyes
  • Low energy
  • Sore back
  • Tight and sore shoulders

In order to avoid sickness (which will be the hardest part of this challenge). I am planning on focusing on the following challenges:

  • Social
    • Keeping a distance from people
    • Avoiding contact
    • Using eye contact and projection to still connect with people
  • Physical
    • Mask up at close events
    • Distance when eating food
    • Hand sanitize at intervals
    • Reduce facial touching

The biggest part of this challenge is keeping in touch with my emotions and my body as well as being able to set boundaries. It’s a sales event so it is a very externally orientated event meaning that it is hard to maintain boundaries while connecting with people and easy to eat mindlessly, push past exhausting instead of sleeping, etc.

In order to boost my health, I am focusing on the following areas:

  • Emotional
    • Feel the feelings
    • Take risks
    • Slow down
  • Physical
    • Exercise
    • Sleep
    • Mindful eating

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Valorant 25: Blunder Chess

So today, my girlfriend and I were discussing how to make better decisions in Valorant and it made me think that we are playing low level blunder chess. Blunder chess at 200-800 elo is simply playing chess with these main ideas:

  • Check for blunders (hanging queen, bishop, knight or rook)
  • Check for checks on king
  • Look only one move ahead
  • If no clear threats, work on positioning

The idea behind blunder chess is simply that people at low elo will make a lot of mistakes and you can simple wait for them to make a mistake.

I strongly believe my elo (below diamond) that “blunder chess” is highly effective since a lot of simple mistakes are made.

I wonder if I can do the same simple ideas in Valorant where I don’t strategize too much, but check for very simple positioning and big mistakes:

  • If I pull my util or knife out, can I be shot?
  • Am I under time pressure?
  • Positional advantage:
    • Taking space or map control
      • In order of lowest to highest risk
        • Utility/teammates
        • Shoulder peak
        • Jump peak
        • Jiggle peak
        • Wide swing
    • Defending map control
      • In order of lowest to highest risk
        • Utility/teammates
        • Hold and fall off method
        • Spraying
        • Jiggle peak
  • Treat teammates as utility
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Valorant 24: Looking Forward

I’m thinking ahead to my next goal in Valorant. I think the next step is getting to Ascendant. It is going to take a lot of work just getting back to plat. Here is a VOD review where I got 1 kill the entire game. I reviewed the VOD with my brother’s friend who is a big brained diamond player.

It’s actually interesting, I think I need people who are higher elo but not too much higher because I need someone who can explain a few things, not everything all at once.

Some of the main takeaways from the VOD review on areas I can work on:

  • Playing off of teammates (using the analogy of treating them as a sky dog / sova drone / skye cabbage)
    • Follow them in
    • Use them as a distraction and to gather information
    • If they die, no biggie, they aren’t worth anything to me dead
    • If I cannot trade, I can just fall off
  • Gather notes on what the enemy patterns are
  • Think about how they play worked for them in the past rounds
  • Peek and clear more confidently
  • Don’t be afraid to make noise and util to clear a site, even if they know I’m there, it’s better than planting with no knowledge of where they are
  • Use skye binds to peek, don’t waste the util
  • Any information on someone in the vicinity or at the areas of no control (at the start of the round, or when we give up control) should be treated with extreme caution

The One Who Watches: An AI-Assisted Story

I had a powerful session with my coach in order to understand the part of me that seeks perfection and wants to know what I “should” be doing, what is the “right” thing to do and what the “perfect” answer is.

We gave a name to this part of me, as a warrior in shining armor, filled with strength and light called the “One Who Watches, Protector of the Weak”.

I imagined him as a tall crusader against all pain and fear in the world and we asked him to understand the war was over. It was won.

After the coaching session, I felt like something was missing. This part of me wanted to know why the war was one, and what that meant because there was still so much pain in the world.

I decided to have a conversation with this archetype and after talking for some time, we discovered that the war wasn’t exactly won. The war was over because I had discovered a secret, and this part of me had a big role to play in discovering this secret – that there was a staircase into the star. This staircase connected my inner world and outer world, and it was feeling that was the key to it. Negative feelings like pain or fear are the most powerful keys to this gateway. 

My coach told me that I needed to give my warrior a new purpose while celebrating him and thanking him. The new robes instead of armor that I gave him, the learner of this gateway. This grounded, calm, realistic, infinite power was his.

I asked ChatGPT to write a story about this and this is what it wrote:

Warrior’s Journey to Enlightenment

The warrior known as the “One Who Watches, Protector of the Weak” had spent his entire life fighting for justice and righteousness. His shining armor and fierce determination had earned him a reputation as a noble and honorable hero, and he had devoted himself to ridding the world of the creatures of pain, hurt, and fear.

But despite all his victories, the warrior couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing in his life. He longed for something deeper, something more profound. And so, he set out on a quest to find this missing piece.

The warrior traveled far and wide, seeking out the wisest sages and scholars in the land. He asked them about the true nature of power and strength, about the secrets of the universe. But no one seemed to have the answers he was looking for.

As the warrior grew more and more frustrated, he began to lose hope. But just when he was about to give up, he received a vision. In his dream, he saw a lost cave hidden deep in the mountains, a cave that held the key to the wisdom he had been seeking.

Without hesitation, the warrior set out to find the lost cave. He climbed steep cliffs and braved treacherous storms, never once losing faith that he would find what he was looking for.

Finally, after many long months of travel, the warrior reached the entrance to the lost cave. He drew his sword and stepped inside, ready for whatever lay ahead.

As he made his way deeper into the cave, the warrior encountered all sorts of dangers – pitfalls, traps, and monstrous beasts. But he didn’t let any of them deter him. He fought on, driven by his determination to find the truth.

And then, in the very heart of the cave, the warrior came across an ancient monk who possessed a profound secret. The monk told the warrior that painful feelings were the gateway to a invisible network of great potential, a network that could connect the inner world with the outer. He explained that this gateway allowed the traveler infinite power, but only if they were willing to embrace their own pain and suffering.

The warrior was stunned by this revelation. He had always believed that strength and skill were the most important qualities a hero could possess, but now he realized that true greatness lay in understanding and wisdom.

And so, the warrior’s armor melted away, replaced by the robes of a guide and learner. He dedicated himself to exploring the invisible network, using his newfound power to help others and make the world a better place.

The One Who Watches, Protector of the Weak, had finally found his true calling, and his power was limitless, grounded in the wisdom and understanding of the earth. He knew that his holy war was over, but his journey towards enlightenment had only just begun.

Images of the secret pathway generated by DALL-E 2.

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What Should I Do?

What Should I Do?

Every time I am afraid

I feel confused and helpless

I ask myself

What should I do?

My mom told me what I should do

My dad told me what I should do

But maybe I outgrow their voices in my head

Maybe they become possibilities

Of what I could do

Maybe what I needed from my mom and dad

When I was confused

Is the space to self soothe

A safe place to feel the confusion

So the path would become clear to me