Backwards Walking
This feels really good. I want to try to incorporate this while I’m walking to anything.
This feels really good. I want to try to incorporate this while I’m walking to anything.
I feel worried about posting about this topic since it can be kind of gross.
However, I feel that physical health is one of the most important things to understand in life as it controls your energy levels, affects your mental strength, and dramatically affects your physical attractiveness or beauty.
Tracking and problem solving my health issues will not only help me but may provide inspiration for others.
Symptoms: bloating, gas, diarrhea, distended belly, sensitivity to cold, stress, and exhaustion
Brainstorm:
Current Focus:
I need to improve my baseline before going after a specific treatment plan. The baseline will focus on two basic areas: overall circulation, reducing strain. The goals need to be very small so they are easy to maintain.
Symptoms: thin hair (but seems to be thickening), itchy scalp, hair falling out, dandruff
Very strange that my hair is thickening but falling out at the same time. Pretty sure my massage is working but the new hair growing in is so thin it falls out easily.
Brainstorm:
Current Focus:
I need to cleanse and increase circulation
Symptoms: afraid to put pressure or impact, no feeling at surgery area, pain
Brainstorm:
Current focus:
I need more circulation
Symptoms: jutting forward head, misaligned hips, shoulders rounded forward
Brainstorm:
Current focus:
I need to see a chiropractor and also just slightly improve posture while doing things bad for posture (computer, phone):
Symptoms: dry eyes, headaches (happens not very often), worsening vision
Brainstorm:
Current Focus:
I want to just relax my eyes more when looking at far away things, rather than trying to move closer.
Today I got a formal eye exam. The results are to be expected. I started using the computer a lot more, and I am very tired (from staying up late). My prescription is about half a diopter than 2-3 years ago.
My plan is to buy from Zenni optical (1.5 diopters lower) and if I am able to improve my vision from there, I will reach out to a bunch of eyewear boutiques to see if they will give me a deal for lots of lenses I want to buy.
My measurements are 143 mm for frame width, 15 mm bridge width, 132 mm temple arm, my PD is 64 mm.
I’m trying out these frames: https://www.zennioptical.com/p/unisex-fullrim-acetate-plastic-square-eyeglass-frames/2067?skuId=206725
Total came out to be about $52 dollars. I really need a better option if I get my vision better.
Measurement today is 11 cm. 100/11 = 9 diopters
So figures that the prescription came out higher today.
I’ve been playing pokemon go so much recently. I’ve made a lot of progress in the game, but I really worry that I’m getting addicted because of how stressed out I am right now.
I stressed out about my relationship and about my career path moving forward. I want to make sure that work does not take over my life and that it stays aligned to what I want to do moving forward.
Every time I feel stressed, I reach for the pokemon go. Holy shit, I am addicted.
I feel very tired, but no longer sick. That is a good thing at least.
I’m going to walk around the airport. And this time, instead of catching pokemon, I am going to meditate and think.
On the plane I meditated on some of my issues and I came to a big realization. The first step to feeling or processing any pain is to notice and name the pain that exists. I spend so much time avoiding thinking about painful emotions or experiences, avoiding thinking about how things hurt me it makes it hard to face the pain at all since I’m not taking the first step,
I want to focus on doing that more now as the first step to processing more emotions.
I completed my knee challenge in terms of going hiking in Zion national park. I felt like I succeeded in a big way but still have a long way to go in terms of getting where I need to go.
What is next for me? I know in the long term, I want to be very physically active. I want to be able to practice martial arts, do a little parkour and gymnastics. I know it will take a lot of effort and time to get there and it feels quite overwhelming for me.
I’m going to set a few large goals and then look at some of the very short term goals getting there.
2 year goal – the ability to practice martial arts, parkour gymnastics and skiing. My goal isn’t to go too hard in any of these areas, just to be able to do them safely.
1 year goal – to get back to preinjury levels
1 month goal – be able to sleep, walk, stand and light exercise with zero discomfort. I will call this goal little freedom.
I don’t really know what the next step in my process is. It feels too soon to set a schedule yet.
I just want to slowly rest and explore for now.
My feelings are that challenge videos make for really good productivity but I need to slow down sometimes and feel the feelings.
Maybe I will write a poem:
Creaky Knees
When I bend my knee
It feels like I’m grinding
Hinges made of old stone
Like the kind in movies
That open secret magical passages
And grate against themselves
I say that I want to be able to do martial arts again
But the truth is
I don’t know what I want
I am afraid to dream again
Of a world where I can be active
I’m so used to being scared
Of clutching my knee close
So as not to hurt it
I feel like I’m too old to have these dreams anymore
Of flying
Like I did when I wanted to learn parkour
Everything scares me
I feel that
I need to understand this part of myself first
Listen to what it wants to say
“Everything is a danger”
It tells me
The protector of my knee
Of my body
It feels safe to not move at all
I am worrying about a couple of things. First of all, I went to bed at 2AM again. This is becoming a pattern that I need to address ASAP.
Thinking about what I need via connection theory here is what I came up with:
Also, I feel linked to this is my anxiety around work.
My initial thought is to stop “trying” and pushing harder against a problem, rather everytime I hit an issue, write down all of the questions I have, then work out those problems outside my apartment, walking or going to the gym.
Connection theory is telling me drawing might help as well.
Overall, I feel like total shit and I feel the lack of sleep is taking a toll on my digestion. I hope to relax enough to take a nap and get back into working order.
In this challenge, I want fill out my body and get a lot more energy and health before my girlfriend visits me on July 15th.
This means that I have approximately 2 months in the challenge.
UNIT ONE: Baseline health: strong enough to exercise bulk and be normal health (21 days)
UNIT TWO: Bulking and buildup: Gain 3 pounds of muscle (21 days)
UNIT THREE: Pushing myself, weight, strength, energy (21 days)