Knee Strength 11: More Knee Exercises
New video that produced big results. Thinking about signing up for his course.
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Workpost 54: Fears
Byjack
I’m starting work on the new branding project but I’m feeling some fears:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of being misunderstood and not heard
- Fear of being seen as bad, lazy, unproductive, dumb
I feel trapped. Shoulders, fear in center of chest. I don’t know what to do to be seen as productive.
I feel overwhelmed. I feel out of control. Nerves vibing in my chest. Clenched stomach. I don’t know what will work.
I feel like a failure. Pain in my chest. I don’t know what I’m doing.
I’m imagining failing. I feel worthless. Head, chest, cold, numb tingling.
Grounding
I may not satisfy other people’s ideas of productivity, but I can satisfy what I see as productive. I can focus on my personal growth and the growth of my companies.
I don’t know what will work but I know what I can try.
I’m adventuring into new territory – that’s why I don’t know what I’m doing.
This gives me the opportunity to process the I’m unworthy wound.
Reframe
This is my opportunity to help other people grow in what they understand as productivity.
Embrace people knowing what you are working on, practice being proud of your process (like emotional processing). -> Big trigger from dad being skeptical of my process and feeling like I need to justify
Big failure literally always leads to big growth and learning. Let’s chase failure. I shouldn’t feel guilty as failure is all on me.
Ok, that makes me realize a lot of this comes from my dad constantly being skeptical, not trusting me, and dismissing my process. I feel always I need to justify myself.
It leads to a very strong I am trapped wound. Shoulders compressed and pain in chest.
Also some I am misunderstood, I am a failure, I am not trusted.
I wonder if that’s how he was treated? I wonder if he has those wounds too.
To grow from it, it occurs to me that he needed an explanation, a justification, and was skeptical because of his own internalized judgement – not because there was something wrong with me.
His comparison of me with other people was all due to his own shame.
Demanding an explanation is from own lack of trust in himself, he can’t understand my trust in myself.
Additional processing:
I did some more processing later in the day. I felt super tired but I kept feeling pressure to work. I feel fear that if I don’t get a certain amount of work done, that I will be rejected.
My dad would say that I didn’t plan the day out well enough, I was not efficient enough, or that I need to work harder.
I felt that fear in my chest as a I am not good enough wound.
In reframing I came to the conclusion that even though my dad had no boundaries around the amount of energy he could put into work, doesn’t mean I cannot.
I choose to put boundaries around my work, and to stop working or move on when I feel I’ve given as much as I can give within the course of the day.
Profit in Peace 4: The Method
Byjack
Main strategy: Always be present, what I feel is right
Work on using my blog to process feelings and embrace the Jack that gets rejected.
Then, for actions: use my coaching mindset
- You’re in my house
- Take risks
- Don’t be afraid to be silent
- Be patient
Mindsets that help with fear:
- Let go of controlling things that I cannot (other people)
- Control how I show up
- Take up space
- Hope that those who reject me leave so I can be free
- Give myself permission to fail
- I am capable of impossible
- How do I want to do it MY way
So I ran through this exercise and here is what I worked through:
- What is next > Edit my video of the coaching session with my client
- How do I do it > Watch the video in 20-minute segments
- What do I do in the 20 minutes > Cut out parts my client doesn’t want to share, add my thoughts, publish to my blog
- What do I do after all of that > Edit the video through the syllabus method
The Sales Conference Health Challenge
Byjack
I’m headed to Orlando, Florida today for a big sales event and I have created a challenge for myself.
I want to not only stay well (and avoid sickness) but also feel better after the conference.
Right now I’m suffering from the following symptoms:
- Fatigue
- Dry eyes
- Low energy
- Sore back
- Tight and sore shoulders
In order to avoid sickness (which will be the hardest part of this challenge). I am planning on focusing on the following challenges:
- Social
- Keeping a distance from people
- Avoiding contact
- Using eye contact and projection to still connect with people
- Physical
- Mask up at close events
- Distance when eating food
- Hand sanitize at intervals
- Reduce facial touching
The biggest part of this challenge is keeping in touch with my emotions and my body as well as being able to set boundaries. It’s a sales event so it is a very externally orientated event meaning that it is hard to maintain boundaries while connecting with people and easy to eat mindlessly, push past exhausting instead of sleeping, etc.
In order to boost my health, I am focusing on the following areas:
- Emotional
- Feel the feelings
- Take risks
- Slow down
- Physical
- Exercise
- Sleep
- Mindful eating
Posture Challenge – Unofficial Made Official
Byjack
I’ve been unofficially focusing on posture for some time now, including mewing, building muscles and strength, and ultimately for more a more aesthetic, healthy, and functional body.
A really helpful video is this:
I always have a lot of tightness in my chest and would like to have more of a wider back and more shoulder mobility.
The Profit in Peace Challenge
Byjack
So here is the long and short of it.
I saw an ad on Facebook. It was talking about making money as an introvert and making money without giving up your inner peace.
I immediately signed up. It was about 20 dollars.
Now I have done a bunch of the exercises for the prework of the challenge and here are my reflections.
Some major questions that I have right now:
- What am I willing to give up and how will I go about giving it up?
- How do I live my values every day in a way that is in flow and not forced or mechanical?
I have some initial ideas.
First, I was thinking originally about what I wanted to give up in terms of things like YouTube, or socializing. But recently it made a lot more sense for me to think about time. Specifically, I wanted to dedicate my entire morning to succeeding at these goals.
From the time I wake up, I usually am doing what JT Franco calls “buffalo brain” (the idea of being one of the herd that moves without thinking). I listen to audiobooks, and watch YouTube videos. I don’t eat breakfast or drink water. I keep the blinds closed. I feel awful and I don’t feel the feelings.
Someone once said (might be Melinda Gates) that the first few hours of the day are the most important because they set the stage for the entire day to come. If I want to give up anything, I want to give up my mornings to getting up, drinking water, feeling my body, and going downstairs into the lounge to write on my blog and work on achieving my dreams.
Middle of the day has to be reserved for work and for talking to my girlfriend. End of the day has to be reserved for me time. Being alone, taking time, creating art, and letting the magic of nighttime take over.
This is what I’m thinking roughly:
7/8 AM – 9/10 AM: Dedicated to living the magical life
9/10 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to doing the impossible at work
12 PM – 1/2 PM: Lunch, meditation
1/2 PM – 5 PM: Work, performing at the highest levels
5 PM – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
During the weekend, work will be removed, leaving more time for dedication to my magical life. I think it will look something like this:
7/8 AM – 12 PM: Dedicated to living the magical life
12pm – 7 PM: Misc time
7 PM – 11 PM: Alone time, creativity, play
With this balance, it seems that my breakdown is this:
Weekday
- 1-3 hours per day on living magical life
- 5-7 hours of work
- 4 hours of alone-time/play
- 2 hours of miscellaneous time
Weekend
- 4-5 hours per day on living magical life
- 4 hours of alone-time/play
- 7 hours of miscellaneous time
I suspect, I will have to do careful planning during the weekend, in order to perform at the absolute highest levels of work and potentially spend less time there.
In terms of living out my beliefs of empathy, intuition/following feelings, creativity/imagination, and honesty. I’m not entirely sure what actions I need to take to feel that I am in congruence with my values.
My main thought right now is about taking risks, breathing through difficult emotions and sensations, and following connection theory.
Core Wounds 8
Byjack
Today I wanted to look at the core wound of feeling like no one will truly understand me and or truly love me.
Sharing Circle
I was in the circle
Of kings they said
I didn’t want to be there
I was just too sad
But they opened up the space for me
To tell my story
Of how I fell in love with a girl
Who I felt others wouldn’t approve of
But I still loved
How I felt like things went wrong
But not because I broke them
But because life
Sometimes
Isn’t easy or simple
I cried
When I thought about it
Felt safe to feel it
Like the time when I was at the party
Solomon turned to me
And said
I know how that feels
And Tim asked me to
Channel it into the karaoke
My pain my loss
I feel that pain now