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Byjack

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Deep Reflections Late At Night

Byjack

I was in a men’s support group tonight and I was mulling over some of the recent discoveries I had:

  • I realized that the right person in your life will be someone who will accept everything about you. Someone who isn’t like that may just not be right for you.
  • I usually walk away at the first sign I feel someone doesn’t understand me. I learned not to give up so quickly if it’s someone I love. If they care about you, they will try to understand. It may take some time, but they will. 
  • I realized I have a very deep-seated hatred of women that is shoved down so deep I didn’t know it existed. I feel this has affected my life in profound ways and I want to explore this deeper and understand why.
  • I realized that the way I work myself to death isn’t healthy and I need to find a better way.

I chose to explore the last realization – how I approach work. Through the discussion and coaching, I realized the following:

  • I feel deep shame for asking for help because I feel like this means I’m not good enough and disorganized.
  • I think of everything in terms of lone wolfing everything  – when in fact I work on a team. The work I do benefits the company I work for, my colleagues and my customers (as I believe in the product).
    • There is no shame in asking for help.
    • In the past, when I used to troubleshoot customer issues, I would work until 4 am in the morning and not feel like it is work because I know who it is for, and how  I am helping them (I felt good about it).

I resolve going forward, that every time I get overwhelmed and feel the urge to procrastinate I’ll do the following:

    1. Ask myself who I am helping
      • Myself for the money and experience I will gain
      • My family, and friends because of the money and time, and experience I can share with them if I succeed at my work
      • My colleagues for how my work will benefit their lives and careers
      • My customers for whom my work will transform their businesses and their personal careers.
    2. Focus on doing the work to help them (not just to get it done).
      • I will never forget the story of the teacher who said the moment that teaching transformed for them was the moment that they stopped trying to teach, and focused on helping their students learn. This feels like that moment to me.

I need to be kinder to myself. To enjoy my life when I’m tired and my body is hurting. I should eat out, take breaks, watch tv. There is no shame in asking for help. I’m on a team. Most of all, I should focus on how my work will help others not just myself.

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Workpost 24: Feeling Good and Business Plans

Byjack

Last night I was feeling some doubts about my coaching practice and I did some IFS therapy on myself to work through some of the shame and anger I feel around people rejecting my coaching or not seeing its value.

Today, I woke up feeling really tired but now I’m feeling good.

I’m working on stuff of my choosing and I really like it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my business lately and what the starving crowd and what I want to happen.

I feel like I’ve finally cracked the code a little bit about selling high-ticket clients and expensive products.

So after listening and reading Alex Hormozi for two days here is what I learned:

  1. Charge an obscene amount
  2. Use that amount to create a crazy experience
  3. Solve a really big problem (to create really big value)

I think what really big value I want to create with my coaching is to help people create a masterpiece.

If I was to breakdown Alex Hormozi’s formula for value:

  1. The dream: create an artistic masterpiece – a breakout piece (this will make you a career in this space a breakout piece, you will feel proud of yourself, you will be able to call yourself an artist proudly, this will be the best work you’ve ever created)
  2. The certainty: I am an artist and engineer, I have a lot of experience coaching people through mental blocks, I will give you a guarantee.
  3. The time: 1 year
  4. The effort: without giving up your mental sanity, quitting your job, or disconnecting from family

Value of this offer: 250,000+

10-15%: 25,000 – 37,500

2,083 – 3,125 per month

Three stages:

  1. Explore art
  2. Establish your routine
  3. Create your masterwork

Objections/fears:

  1. I don’t have enough time
  2. I don’t know what I want to do
  3. I have kids
  4. I don’t want to quit my job
  5. I don’t know what other people will like, what if people don’t like it
  6. Too much work
  7. Keep switching what I want to do
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Learning Time: Rizz AI?

Byjack

Didn’t know what direction to take exactly but thought I’d watch some stuff.

Takeaways:

  1. When you find the people you want to work with be persistent about working with them
  2. If your competitor is not known, they don’t exist
  3. Presigned URLs vs base64 encoding images *want to research
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Workpost 3: Pleasant Uncertainty

Byjack

Today I feel a bit like there is a lot of uncertainty. There is uncertainty with my coaching business and with my career as an AI consultant, but there are also lots of opportunities moving forward.

I want to strive to move forwards and not start to distract myself from the emotions via games and videos.

The first thing I want to tackle is sleep. That is my main priority today. I want to understand why I feel unfulfilled at night, like something wasn’t quite done.

My intuition tells me that I desire to create art. I don’t know why.

Perhaps my first step is to start working on art at 9:30 PM.

Before that I want to achieve something in Valorant, so I will need to do some gaming earlier in the day.

I also desire to work on myself more, I think it really helps to think about emotional development as work. When I think about it as vulnerability, it feels not productive. But when I think of it as emotional work, it takes on new meaning and purpose.

Ok so lets take a look at my two projects right now:

So for my AI Consulting plan, I want to stick to the plan, but the timeline has changed a bit.

I wanted this current goal (Be known, give preview of consulting) to finish by Feb 27th. That leaves 7 days to film, shoot, edit and get feedback.

UNIT ONE (ends 23rd): Shoot 3 videos

  • Spend total of 3 hours per video (9 hours total)

UNIT TWO (ends 24th): Write 2 LinkedIn posts

  • Spend total of 1.5 hrs per post (3 hrs total)

UNIT THREE (ends 26th): Get feedback, harden process

Looking at my goal for art coaching, I feel dissatisfied with my current structure on process for that. I feel I need to work on finding more ambitious and exciting goals at every step of the way (even if I have a lot of time to get there). I realized in order for the syllabus method to work, you need to have very ambitious exciting goal…then think about how to make it difficult to expect anything other than success.

So let’s revisit the master plan here.

Goal: Ramp up to an income of 8333 per month (100k per year) within one year

I want to choose a new goal…make 1500 per week in coaching.

I want to achieve this within the next 3 months.

UNIT ONE (1 month): Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month

  1. Create plans (10 days, ends March 2nd)
    1. Deeply understanding clients
    2. Creating extreme focus and presence in life and sessions
    3. Developing connections clients need
    4. Materials and exercises to create and track strategy
  2. Execute on plans (10 days, ends March 12th)
  3. Research and refinement (10 days, ends March 22nd)
    1. Interview other coaches
    2. Read books
    3. Further brainstorming

UNIT TWO (1 month): Build 100 hot leads – depends on having free stuff

  1. Random try posting (10 days, ends April 1st)
  2. Get feedback and do networking and outreach (10 days, ends April 11th)
  3. Turn warm leads into hot leads with offer (10 days, ends April 21st)

UNIT THREE (1 month): Meld and combine top level coaching with leads machine

  1. Talk about my clients achievements, use it to push their art (10 days, ends May 1st)
  2. Clients have voice on my platform to talk about concepts in my coaching (10 days, ends May 11th)
  3. Refine call for action to get warm leads to ask for my offer, then turn into hot leads (10 days, ends May 21st)

Okok, I finally have a good framework, but working on this framework makes me realize I really do need to work on free products in the meantime.

Goal: Create free products in 1 month

UNIT ONE (10 days, ends March 2nd): Complete research

  1. Transcribe and think, what is the million dollar problem or breakthrough?
  2. Collate results, come up with solutions
  3. Research competition

UNIT TWO (10 days, ends March 12th): Develop products

  1. Planning and gathering materials doing research
  2. Create products

UNIT THREE (10 days, ends March 22nd): Continue development

  1. Testing and creating more products

Rental Car Nightmares

Byjack

A couple of weeks ago, I rented a car at National car rental. My sister returned it for me, and I got a shock in my email a few weeks later.

I immediate assumed this had to be a scam, or some sort of mistake. But the more I read, the more that I could tell this was actually legit. They had the right time, the right place and right company. They were charging me for $1295.81 for damages to the vehicle.

Looking at this deeper I noticed that the line items were VERY extensive, replaces door parts and handles. According to them, the car was HEAVILY damaged.

Looking at the pictures, I could barely see any of the damages they were indicating. It almost felt like they were offloading the cost of wear and tear on me.

Obviously I was LIVID.

  • I knew that there were some small marks on the car when I picked it up, but I never took any pictures.
  • I knew that no damage whatsoever happened when I had the car. I didn’t think any of this damage was on the car when I picked it up, but the damage in the photos are so subtle its hard for me to be sure.
  • I had rental insurance specifically for this car, but didn’t want to file a claim for something I didn’t do.
  • My sister had someone walk around the car and CONFIRM it was ok before she returned it. They parked it, and who knows what happened after that.
  • National has a service for their “Emerald Isle” premium members where you can pick up and drop off a car without ever seeing someone.
    • This now seemed like a LIABILITY not a PERK since now I can’t get them to acknowledge damage on the car.
    • I’m a new member and if they were going to be f*cking sticklers about this whole thing, they should have EXPLAINED it to me. I would have got them to sign off on EVERY F*CKING SCRATCH BEFORE AND AFTER returning the car.

So I went to chase down this problem:

  1. I called National Support, and they told me that I needed to call their damage unit. I asked them to make a note on my case so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
  2. After I called their damage unit, they redirected me to someone else.
  3. After getting to another person, they redirected me to someone else.
  4. The last person seemed to know what they were talking about, but I had repeat myself because she could not access any of the notes that National Support wrote down.

The last woman who oversaw the appeals to the damages told me the following information:

  • Generally its better if you take photos beforehand, however, in situations where the “damage” is so small it is easy to miss, you can appeal and they will dismiss it. They consider it human error.
  • She told me that my “damages” were definitely small enough that someone might have missed it before (so it may not be caused by me).
  • She agreed to waive all of the fees.

So my lessons learned from this whole experience:

  1. Always get rental car insurance just in case.
  2. Take a video when you pick up the car to prove the condition of the car beforehand. (It’s gonna be me in the parking lot being like “hey this is me in the parking lot picking up this car at X time” so they have proof I didn’t take the video at some other place or time)
  3. Take a video of the car when you return it.
  4. If they try to charge you for something really small and not visible in your videos, appeal, and they will probably dismiss it.
  5. It’s good to be a mix of legitimately angry (I was furious) but polite at the same time (I apologized in advance telling them I was very upset but I knew it wasn’t their fault personally). As a result, they were helpful and resolved my issue quickly.

A day later I got an email.

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What If It Wasn’t Real

Byjack
What If It Wasn’t Real

She used to message me and beg me to get on to play
I thought she needed me then
Loved spending time together
We would joke
And talk about life
Little things
These days she plays
Without me
It’s me who asks
And she reluctantly accepts
In the game, she’s all anger and frustration
She hates the game
She hates the teammates
She hates me
And she hates herself
She denied that she ever had fun with me today
Says she can’t remember the last time we played
That I annoy her
That we need to win if we play
That we just don’t work together
“I like small talk,” she says about her new friends
“We are too busy asking about favorite colors”
“For me to be mad”
I remember a time we asked each other our favorite colors
I wonder if it was less special than I thought
Or if her new friends are more special than me
Its doubt that destroys love
Not hate or anger
Doubt eating away at a foundation so strong
It promised forever
Today I worry
If I left
Would she even notice
Over the laughter
Of her new friends

This poem is about feeling like what you thought you both cherished, only you actually cherished. That there wasn’t a connection at the level that I originally thought.

If that is actually true, I don’t feel heartbroken. Only depressed. So incredibly disappointed that everything was not as special as I thought it was. It takes me back to my dark places, wondering if anyone could truly love me.

Part of me knows it’s more complicated than that. That there is still hope for us. Still hope for me.