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Workpost 5: Panic Attack

Byjack

I was just on the border of a panic attack when I went to go exercise.

My Head Hurts

Eyes are swimming in a pain in the back of my head

Heart beating like its a race

And no matter how fast it beats

It isn’t fast enough

To catch up

With the work I want to do

After hanging for a little bit, I decided something. I need to go back to basics. As the level of work, my ambition, my organization go up…so have my stress levels. It is beginning hard to relax, hard to feel in the moment. It feels like I’m in an endless race with no chance to catch my breath.

So here are the basics:

  1. The planning I’m doing in these blog posts give me a huge edge in terms of direction and thought process in a huge number of goals at the same time. However, I now need to do the opposite. The basic I have in mind is this – focus on one thing at a time. Make a todo list. Create prioritization. Make it emotionally make sense (choose what emotionally feels important to focus on first, not logically). Clear all distractions and focus on one thing.
  2. Use the taoist approach to achieve fulfillment. Work until you feel empty.
  3. Use the coaching mindset…let the world come to you, have patience.

I also realized I did not work on the product research goal.

So here it is:

Goal: Create free products in 1 month | UNIT ONE: Complete research | Part 1 Transcribe and think, what is the million dollar problem or breakthrough?

  • One interview per day
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The Sales Funnel Challenge

Byjack

I’ve always wanted to take as many sales and marketing offers as possible. I don’t know whether or not they are scams or not. I don’t know which ones are useful or not. So I wanted to take all of them, and treat them all like challenges.

Today, I started one of the Challenges. I signed up for a book called “Sell Like Crazy” from King Kong marketing agency with founder Sabri Suby. The book is about building clients from facebook ads (something I can already see they are good at and I have an interest in). I want to try this out with my coaching business.

The reason why I started with this sales funnel is that they have a hilarious Facebook commercial and they also had a unique offer – a free (or almost free) book.

My thoughts so far:

  • Really well-shot and entertaining commercial, they are a good marketing agency.
  • Glassdoor makes me think they are legit
  • I’m excited about the free book
  • They are too salesy, they kept me on the funnel for like an HOUR and predictably tried to sell me something immediately afterwards
  • My idea of them definitely soured in the sales funnel because of the endless funnel and greedy money grabs

Excited to see where this will go!

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Profit in Peace 14: Looking For A Solution

Byjack

Ok, it has been three days and every single day this week, my peace has been disrupted. Things are blowing up at work yet again and I don’t have the space and time that I need to think and introspect and work on my own things.

A couple of big wins:

  1. As per my sleep challenge, my sleep routine has never been better. I’m sticking to the 11 PM bedtime and go to sleep before 11:30 PM. I enjoy the nighttime winddown with journaling and cupping.
  2. My morning routine remains steadfast and strong. Even though sometimes I only have 30 minutes, or I have to get up at 4 AM, every single morning, I get up and check in with my emotions. I’ve added the breathing, I love you, and left handing brushing routine and it has been going well.
  3. I have a pretty clear boundary where I end work around 5 PM, and I don’t really stray very much from that.

So today’s challenge is not about working to further my coaching practice in any way, to work on reviewing VODs or editing my Instagram page or Instagram videos. It is simply about how to transform the chaos and stress that dominate the middle of my day and transform it into peace.

I have the French challenge coming up, and I want to be able to reliably work on that without being pulled all sorts of directions.

A little of introspection and meditation about it reveals to me that the reason why I’m so stressed is because I’m trying to control things that are out of my control. However, I feel the need to control things because I feel that there are many things threatening my boundaries.

The key maybe to have strong clear boundaries and needs, and to work on communicating them and to let go of controlling everything else.

Boundaries & Needs:

  1. I need my own time, I do not want to work any later than 5 consistently or earlier than 9 consistently.
  2. I need to be treated with respect, for my time and opinions to be valued, my accomplishments and skills recognized.
  3. I want to be honest to myself and others.
  4. I want to work with integrity and empathy.
  5. I want to operate with the idea that anything is possible.

What I would like to do today, is before going into any meeting, remind myself of these boundaries and needs and ask myself, what is out of my control, what is within my control.

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Profit In Peace 19: Taking Charge

Byjack

I’m angry. I feel trapped at home, at work, and in my relationship. I am tired and uncomfortable like I have no personal space. I am taking charge today.

I don’t know what that means, but right now it means, that for the first time since I came back to my parent’s house, I am doing my daily routine.

Nowhere To Go

My parents

Hovering

Watching

Judging

Like glue stuck to my arms

My girlfriend

A ball of frustration and negativity

That I feel anxiety in my core

Every time she pulls at me

My work a clash between

Two fighting parents

With me stuck in the middle

Where is the space for me?

I feel several realizations come to me when I write about these emotions. First, the technique of taking space. I feel all my oxygen, happiness, room, and sanity is taken away by others. I feel like I’m making myself smaller to give room to others. The first thing I want to do is to start taking up space, making demands, and making myself big.

The second thing that I feel is important (and might give me a clue as to how I can make myself big, and not huddle real small), is remembering my boundaries and needs:

  1. Time – I want to be in control of my time
  2. Honesty – I want to be honest with myself and others
  3. Empathy – I want to empathize and others to empathize with me
  4. Possibility – I want to believe anything is possible
  5. Respect – I want others to show respect for me and my abilities

This already gives me a clearer idea of what is happening here.

I definitely feel a lack of honesty, time, and sometimes respect and empathy at home. In fact, maybe possibility sometimes too. In my relationship I feel lack of honesty, empathy, possibility, and time (and sometimes respect). And at work, I feel a lack of respect, honesty, empathy, and time as well.

I also feel that in every scenario, the key is wanting everyone to like me to not feel uncomfortable.

I caused most of these boundary violations to happen, and that is empowering because I have the ability to change them,

One of the things I want to do instead of wanting everyone to be happy and wanting everyone to like me, is approach people with my same values.

For example, if I want to be honest with someone, empathize with them, show respect, but let go of trying to control how they feel. If I want to be respected more, I can do that with empathy and honesty and respect as well.

This is far more empowering and less stressful because I am in control of myself. I can change how I approach situations, but I cannot control others.

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What I Want My Job To Be

Byjack

I think a lot of people have it wrong when they look to people for guidance. We look for the rich, the successful, the types of people who made a million dollars and are now flaunting it with expensive cars, watches, and parties, and beautiful women almost saying, “you want this? I can show you how to get it”.

But the truth is that no one wants that, even though they think they might want it. People want to know the truth of things. They want to know how to live, how to love, and how to lose. They want to learn how to see beauty, find joy and feel sadness. They want to find meaning, feel like they are special, and that they are exploring the world like we did when we were kids. There is nothing wrong with money, but it was once just a tool, and now it has become the goal.

The people who got the closest to the answer are not businessmen, but artists. Is it not the music of musicians, the books of authors, the paintings or painters, and the films of filmmakers that are often the most profound teachers of life?

This is why I’ve always sought creation, youtube, and art out much more than success. This is why creators like Mr. Beast (though more well meaning than some creators disgust me with their materialism).

I’ve decided that THIS is the job I want. I want the hard job of creating. Creating art, music, writing, and videos. Creating something that will help people reach the deep ideas in life, but also simplify things to the sensations we feel and guide us back to being kids in the present moment.

I’ve always felt like some things in life feel like a damn waste of time. I always wonder what work is worth doing for me, something that I feel I was meant to do, and what feels not worth it for me.

I always knew it was understanding life, working through my traumas and understanding how to make life magic. But I never was so clear on what the work was.

I want to serve as more than just an artist but a speaker, a coach, someone who can explain the art in logical and easily understandable ways. I don’t want to be studying to be a coach. I want to be studying life, living it, exploring it, touching it. I want my coaching to be a collaboration in the enterprise of spreading this practice of understanding deeper truths in life and finding true purpose. The kind of purpose you feel when you hear a song you love, the kind of clarity when you read something profound.

And when I get money. Lots of money. I will just continue to create. Organizations, experiences, works of art.

Elements of my enterprise:

  1. Creating art coloring life (comics, paintings, writings, etc.)
  2. Live streaming/videos on creation/techniques/challenges/stories
  3. Discussing works of art that color life
  4. Creating guides on how to live/succeed/understand
  5. Speaking on practical topics/problems/challenges
  6. Coaching on developing color in life
  7. Creating events that color life

*When I say “color life”, I mean the feeling of deep conversations, connecting with childlike wonder, being in the moment and feeling the feelings, being spontaneous, taking risks, and finding silence and simplicity. But why explain it? Listen to it down below.

Profit in Peace 23: Values Update

Byjack

I have an update in my values.

It’s been interesting see how my values used to feel really unclear back in this post and recently got much more clear in this post, but now I feel even more clear.

Knowing your values is so important because it helps you set boundaries. When you don’t know your values it is hard to know when someone is crossing a boundary and if they are, what boundary they are crossing.

Here is the new list:

  • Honesty (push people who don’t accept you away, pull people who do, closer)
  • Empathy/Emotion (everyone is going through struggles, be present for people’s emotions without taking responsibility)
  • Freedom (used to call this time and space)
  • Ambition/Possibility/Dreaming
  • Respect (value others, others value you)
  • Health