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Two Important Questions

Byjack

I was thinking about the concept of how Alex Hormzi approaches learning. The idea that you purpose things in a way expecting to fail at first, but you pursue them in such a way that you make it hard for you to fail. That the chances that you will fail is lower than the chances of success.

I was thinking about what made emotional or spiritual success. And that brought me to a few different ideas. They all centered around one thing, the relationship with oneself. I believe that the relationship that you have with yourself dictates the freedom and happiness you have in life. Some ways in which I am not a kind or loving friend or parent to myself are:

  • Thinking my needs are not important, especially if they make it less convenient for other people
  • Shaming myself and comparing myself to other people
  • Lashing out at myself when I’m not the best or successful
  • Yelling at myself for making mistakes
  • Putting on the pressure that if I’m not stressed I will not perform
  • Being disgusted by my weakness

What if I took this idea from Alex Hormzi? What if I accepted I am going to be a shit friend and parent to myself but I am going to ask myself what I need to do to make it harder to be unkind and unloving toward myself than it is to be kind and loving?

Well, what would the most loving parent do for me?

  1. Value my emotions and encourage me to explore them
  2. Hold me close when I’m upset or feeling weak and vulnerable
  3. I am the most important person in their life, they will drop everything if I need them
  4. Be interested in hearing about new adventures and failures and lessons
  5. Does not see me as a static person but as a sum of everything I’ve been, where I’m now, and where I’m headed
  6. Guide me when I’m feeling lost or need to defend myself

I want to know how I can make it impossible for me to not do that for myself.

Some ideas come to mind:

  1. Create a meditative time to watch my own content (read my journals, watch my videos, listen to my recordings). It feels like 1,4 and especially 5. As a side effect, this can create GREAT opportunities for understanding what kinds of videos I can make.
  2. Write down and read my thoughts when I feel lost, scared, angry, ashamed or frustrated. Create a place to feel hurt. This can hit at 1,3, and 4, and maybe 6 if I write responses to things I write.
  3. Work on dance therapy especially the following elements: allowing the world to hold you, inward closing comfort, sensual movement and touch, outward releasing movement

I don’t know how to come up with a strategy on how to mix this in with my life yet but some of my ideas includes:

  • Using therapists as a safe space to practice
  • Using people who are close as a way to practice
  • Using camera off meetings as a way to practice
  • Using youtube videos and coaching as a way to practice
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Valorant Higher Elo Insights

Byjack

Yesterday I played two 10 man customs with my brother. It was interesting because everyone was higher elo (high plat to diamond, and immo peak).

I realized something while playing with them. First, they aren’t much better skill wise, but take much fewer risks when they place. I often take a lot of risks and rely on my aim.

However, something occurred to me recently while watching profession Valorant play.

Diamonds and even immortal are not the best Valorant players and I know even from my own Valorant games that playing defensive is not always the best move.

The point is the take risks when you need to, like when your team is down numbers, or if you have a read. In those moments, you need to believe in yourself, trust in your aim and play aggressive, not afraid.

Often times, when I play aggressively, it is out of fear, confusion, and pressure to make a play. When I play defensive, I’m always afraid, confused and defensively hide.

I wonder what it would be like to play in a more yin yang balanced approach. As you would in tai chi, be soft when they are hard, hard when they are soft. What that might me in Valorant is to be gone from places where the team is holding strong map control, and be present in places where they are weak.

I don’t exactly know how this will work as a technique, but I’d like to try it out today.

Recommendations From My Marketing Coaching

Byjack

Thinking about social media marketing for business.

My marketing coach recommended these three fellas:

The Harmon Brothers: They create funny content for companies

Neil Patel: Marketing Guru

Seth Godin: Influential writer

One of the things that came out from our discussion is that he said there are two types of content on social media – educational and entertainment. Some realization I came to is that social media is all about being social. It’s not about looking cool or saying the right things.

In the conference I was at, there was a guy with 10 million followers, and he said to be yourself. If yourself is introverted, act introverted. If you are a geek, act like one.

I think the key is that people desire to connect socially. Even if its a virtual social thing. So if your content doesn’t feel like you are talking directly to someone, then it probably isn’t getting big.

That and consistency. The only lesson from my marketing coach and the 10 million follower guy. Post once a day he said.

Video Type Footage and Elements

Byjack

I realized that I have made every single video type that I said in the last blog post (Video Poem, How To Video, Challenge Video, Conversation Video) except the How To Video.

I think the reason why, is that I tend to restrict myself with only shooting myself, when in How To Videos I would actually have a lot more fun shooting it with many more elements such as animation, and stop motion.

Going on that theme, I’m going through every video type and breaking down the types of video I’m going to try in each.

Video Poem
  • Lots of beautiful b-roll (mostly from traveling)
  • Some b-roll from video personal diary entries
  • Voice over from a written script
  • Collage of elements, textures, images, text and footage
How-to Video
  • Less is more
  • Animation
  • Stop motion
  • B-roll
  • Talking head (straight on face shot)
  • Text on screen
  • Focus on simplicity and directly to the point
Challenge Video
  • Broll of challenge
  • Diary entries from during the challenge
  • Voice overs
  • Broll for explanations
  • Focus on the journey and try to convey how it felt for real
Conversation Video
  • Little to no editing
  • Natural and interesting conversation
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Path to Fast Growth

Byjack

Some thoughts:

  1. You don’t always need or want to grow fast
  2. However, if you do, this is how

To summarize very quickly:

There are two things you can do to grow faster, get more customers, and make the customer more valuable.

To get more customers you need:

  • More traffic → Advertise more/better
  • Higher conversion % → Practice sales/Improve offer

To make them more valuable you need to:

  • Raise your prices → Grow gonads & decide
  • Buy more times (decrease churn) → Reach outs, exit interviews, prepayments, OB, Fast results, Events

Spend 80% of your time doing this.

Deep Reflections Late At Night

Byjack

I was in a men’s support group tonight and I was mulling over some of the recent discoveries I had:

  • I realized that the right person in your life will be someone who will accept everything about you. Someone who isn’t like that may just not be right for you.
  • I usually walk away at the first sign I feel someone doesn’t understand me. I learned not to give up so quickly if it’s someone I love. If they care about you, they will try to understand. It may take some time, but they will. 
  • I realized I have a very deep-seated hatred of women that is shoved down so deep I didn’t know it existed. I feel this has affected my life in profound ways and I want to explore this deeper and understand why.
  • I realized that the way I work myself to death isn’t healthy and I need to find a better way.

I chose to explore the last realization – how I approach work. Through the discussion and coaching, I realized the following:

  • I feel deep shame for asking for help because I feel like this means I’m not good enough and disorganized.
  • I think of everything in terms of lone wolfing everything  – when in fact I work on a team. The work I do benefits the company I work for, my colleagues and my customers (as I believe in the product).
    • There is no shame in asking for help.
    • In the past, when I used to troubleshoot customer issues, I would work until 4 am in the morning and not feel like it is work because I know who it is for, and how  I am helping them (I felt good about it).

I resolve going forward, that every time I get overwhelmed and feel the urge to procrastinate I’ll do the following:

    1. Ask myself who I am helping
      • Myself for the money and experience I will gain
      • My family, and friends because of the money and time, and experience I can share with them if I succeed at my work
      • My colleagues for how my work will benefit their lives and careers
      • My customers for whom my work will transform their businesses and their personal careers.
    2. Focus on doing the work to help them (not just to get it done).
      • I will never forget the story of the teacher who said the moment that teaching transformed for them was the moment that they stopped trying to teach, and focused on helping their students learn. This feels like that moment to me.

I need to be kinder to myself. To enjoy my life when I’m tired and my body is hurting. I should eat out, take breaks, watch tv. There is no shame in asking for help. I’m on a team. Most of all, I should focus on how my work will help others not just myself.