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Workspace 21: Be the Underdog
I’ve been thinking more about rejection and working through some of my thoughts with it.
I want people to validate me to feel confident being myself. But validation and confidence are completely different.
Confidence is all about being ok with not getting other’s approval and validation, being ok with not being the strongest, the smartest, the most attractive. I want to find a way to let go of seeking approval from everyone. That is seriously holding me back.
The first thing I realized is that I need to be clear about what I value outside of approval.
I love solving difficult problems. I love learning, growing, and improving myself. I love creating. I love meeting new people and connecting with those people on a deep level. I love consuming art and music, writing and dance.
Being rejected doesn’t stop me from pursuing those things. In fact, people who reject me might realize my path is one they admire and want to follow.
The second thing I realized is that I can use rejection as motivation. It’s just a challenge to my ego. It makes me stronger.
I don’t want anything handed to me. The hero has the slay the dragon. I want to be the underdog, and I strive for greatness.
Rental Car Nightmares
A couple of weeks ago, I rented a car at National car rental. My sister returned it for me, and I got a shock in my email a few weeks later.
I immediate assumed this had to be a scam, or some sort of mistake. But the more I read, the more that I could tell this was actually legit. They had the right time, the right place and right company. They were charging me for $1295.81 for damages to the vehicle.
Looking at this deeper I noticed that the line items were VERY extensive, replaces door parts and handles. According to them, the car was HEAVILY damaged.
Looking at the pictures, I could barely see any of the damages they were indicating. It almost felt like they were offloading the cost of wear and tear on me.
Obviously I was LIVID.
- I knew that there were some small marks on the car when I picked it up, but I never took any pictures.
- I knew that no damage whatsoever happened when I had the car. I didn’t think any of this damage was on the car when I picked it up, but the damage in the photos are so subtle its hard for me to be sure.
- I had rental insurance specifically for this car, but didn’t want to file a claim for something I didn’t do.
- My sister had someone walk around the car and CONFIRM it was ok before she returned it. They parked it, and who knows what happened after that.
- National has a service for their “Emerald Isle” premium members where you can pick up and drop off a car without ever seeing someone.
- This now seemed like a LIABILITY not a PERK since now I can’t get them to acknowledge damage on the car.
- I’m a new member and if they were going to be f*cking sticklers about this whole thing, they should have EXPLAINED it to me. I would have got them to sign off on EVERY F*CKING SCRATCH BEFORE AND AFTER returning the car.
So I went to chase down this problem:
- I called National Support, and they told me that I needed to call their damage unit. I asked them to make a note on my case so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
- After I called their damage unit, they redirected me to someone else.
- After getting to another person, they redirected me to someone else.
- The last person seemed to know what they were talking about, but I had repeat myself because she could not access any of the notes that National Support wrote down.
The last woman who oversaw the appeals to the damages told me the following information:
- Generally its better if you take photos beforehand, however, in situations where the “damage” is so small it is easy to miss, you can appeal and they will dismiss it. They consider it human error.
- She told me that my “damages” were definitely small enough that someone might have missed it before (so it may not be caused by me).
- She agreed to waive all of the fees.
So my lessons learned from this whole experience:
- Always get rental car insurance just in case.
- Take a video when you pick up the car to prove the condition of the car beforehand. (It’s gonna be me in the parking lot being like “hey this is me in the parking lot picking up this car at X time” so they have proof I didn’t take the video at some other place or time)
- Take a video of the car when you return it.
- If they try to charge you for something really small and not visible in your videos, appeal, and they will probably dismiss it.
- It’s good to be a mix of legitimately angry (I was furious) but polite at the same time (I apologized in advance telling them I was very upset but I knew it wasn’t their fault personally). As a result, they were helpful and resolved my issue quickly.
A day later I got an email.
Letting The Empress Take The Wheel
My sister and I have this joke about the empress. According to a tarrot reading, my sister needs to rely more on her “inner empress”. What does this mean? Well apparently the emperor card stands for searching out and controlling the world, while the empress waits for the world to come to her.
This actually is in line with a thought process I had myself about being yourself.
Feeling free to be yourself = happiness. Feeling like you cannot be yourself is the root of ALL unhappiness. But how to be yourself is another very difficult story.
One way is a method I like to call, “Letting the empress take the wheel”.
Her Anger Like A Fire
Her Anger Like Fire
I felt her anger like fire
Burning in my face
Searing like acid
Felt the heat of it
Within her body
But all I could think of
Was the weight of the cold stones filling my heart
While I wondered
What happens
When love
Gives up
I realized something today. Sometimes when you love someone so much, you can’t give them space. Love needs space to grow, absence to remind you what it is made of. Sometimes, if you really love someone, you have to let them go. Even if it means they may never come back.
Sova Fanart 5: Class Unit 2 Day 2
UNIT TWO: Dynamic Figure Drawing | Day 2 – Copy a pose from memory, trace, and correct original
I am going to interpret this as just using real life references.
Again, since we had so much success last night we are going to break things down again.
Suggested time: 90 minutes (30 minutes per unit, 10 minutes per part)
Unit 1: Gather images
- Part 1: Look for reference photo sources
- Part 2: Brainstorm action poses
- Part 3: Brainstorm perspective poses
Unit 2: From memory
- Part 1: Pose 1
- Part 2: Pose 2
- Part 3: Pose 3
Unit 3: From life
- Part 1: Pose 1
- Part 2: Pose 2
- Part 3: Pose 3
Unit 1: Gather images
Part 1: Look for reference photo sources

10 Best Free Pose Reference Sites For Figure Drawing – Improveyourdrawings.com
Part 2&3: Brainstorm action and perspective poses
023 Male Action Pose — Characterdesigns.com
011 Gun Action Pose Male Model — Characterdesigns.com
*Not a pose, but a really cool course I might want to check out
(155) The 6 Types of Joints – Human Anatomy for Artists – YouTube
Now I need to decide on the specific poses I want to try:






Unit 2 & 3: From memory & life
So the poses I most want to choose in order of precedence are:
- Pose 7
- Pose 3
- Pose 1
- Pose 2
- Pose 6
- Pose 8
- Pose 5
I’m going to try the first four (7, 3, 1, 2).
Part 1: Pose 7


Part 2: Pose 3



Part 3: Pose 1



Part 4: Pose 2



Overall Takeaways
Rough Sketch
- Recreate the pose as itself instead of memorizing the image
- Visualize the twist of the torso
- Try to visualize the space they are holding with their arms (like a beach ball) and space with their feet (like a pyramid)
Refined Sketch
- Focus on the different sides of body parts, what side is facing where
- Mark the attachment point of the neck
Workpost 4: Tired
I feel really tired today. I am worried about my sleep cycle. At least I went to bed 30 minutes earlier than I did the night before at 1:30 AM. I really feel I need more sleep than that to be healthy.
I suppose I can commit to taking a nap today.
Something I was wondering, is if I put positive, confident people on a pedestal. I mean, they can’t be that great right? I like how calm I can feel around them, but I can get that anywhere. In fact, one of the ways that I want to develop myself as a coach is to live more by the coaching mindset (you’re in my house, be patient, take risks, be ok with silence). If I live by that mindset 24/7, not only will I get more clients, I will also feel more calm in everything that I do.
Ok now onto the projects:
Goal: Shoot 3 videos, spend 3 hours on each. I have 2 days to do this.
I think today this will be my primary focus.
The videos I want to choose are:
- Can AI be used to create a cure?
- Today I’m going to try to use AI to cure all diseases.
- How do cures work?
- What part of the process can AI help?
- What skills are still needed in the age of AI?
- AI can do everything, write essays, create art, open doors, and even create videos
- Where does that leave you?
- Today I’m going to figure out what humans still need to know in the age of AI
- How can AI be used to develop innovative products?
- Let’s say you got a product – reliable, affordable, but a little boring
- Today I’m going to use AI to develop an innovative product
Ok, so in doing this exercise I realize that I have to pivot. none of these ideas are going to take 3 hours to make. I need to choose something that is really really fast to make.
My new top 3:
- GPT Prompt: Ask AI to explain a really difficult concept to you on a 2nd grade level
- Do you want the be the world’s smartest man…or woman?
- Today I’m going to use AI to enhance my intelligence with one simple prompt
- Explain it to me like I’m in 2nd grade
- GPT Prompt: Take everything in your fridge and ask for recipes
- Can I cook like Gordon Ramsey with nothing in my fridge?
- Today I’m challenging myself to cook like a high dining chef using one simple prompt
- Give me a high-dining recipe
- GPT Prompt: Take a boardgame and invent new rules
- Monopoly is boring
- Let’s make it insane with one simple prompt
- Use the monopoly boardgame and make it more skill based
Ok time for Goal 2.
UNIT ONE: Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month | Day 1 Create plans
- 1 hr of meditation every day
- 1 hr of speaking to other people about this every day