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Misaligned

Misaligned

It’s been bothering me

All day

All night

Nagging at me

This feeling I cannot place my finger on

Something 

Misaligned

The easiest way to see this

Is how much respect 

She has for her friend

Wealthy

Privileged

A liar

A cheater

Skips school

Steals for fun

Likes being toxic

Likes fighting people

“Winning” arguments

As if life is handing out prizes

For the most annoying waste of space

Yet somehow

These are not the traits she dislikes

But admires

She loves it when her friend buys her things

She also lies

Also likes to cheat

Also plays mind games

Skips school together

Is envious of the stealing

Tries to be even more toxic

Like fighting people too

She seems to respect her friend so much

A near high school dropout

She claims I won’t be able to handle her

That she will somehow break me emotionally

As if I don’t have years more experience

Intelligence

And self-awareness

And yet

Everything good in this world

That I love

Exploring the world

Learning about math and science

Reading books

Being kind and empathetic

Singing and dancing

Succeeding in school

Being smart and competent

Are all somehow undesirable

Somehow

Cringy

Boring

I don’t know

I’m confused

I don’t understand

What world she even lives in

How can I connect her world with mine

I still love her

And I have no idea

What to do next

It makes me feel

Confused

Afraid

Angry

Unhappy

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