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To A New Place

Byjack
To a New Place

I’m in a new place

And I feel lost

When I asked her why

She told me

It’s because I am coping with the emotions

By not feeling them

That my old life

Gave me a lot of my needs

And that it will take time

For me to find it again

I asked myself

In the men’s group

What I should do

And the answer

Was to be alone

In nature

And to be ok

With everything

Being a complete

Mess

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Workpost 24: Feeling Good and Business Plans

Byjack

Last night I was feeling some doubts about my coaching practice and I did some IFS therapy on myself to work through some of the shame and anger I feel around people rejecting my coaching or not seeing its value.

Today, I woke up feeling really tired but now I’m feeling good.

I’m working on stuff of my choosing and I really like it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my business lately and what the starving crowd and what I want to happen.

I feel like I’ve finally cracked the code a little bit about selling high-ticket clients and expensive products.

So after listening and reading Alex Hormozi for two days here is what I learned:

  1. Charge an obscene amount
  2. Use that amount to create a crazy experience
  3. Solve a really big problem (to create really big value)

I think what really big value I want to create with my coaching is to help people create a masterpiece.

If I was to breakdown Alex Hormozi’s formula for value:

  1. The dream: create an artistic masterpiece – a breakout piece (this will make you a career in this space a breakout piece, you will feel proud of yourself, you will be able to call yourself an artist proudly, this will be the best work you’ve ever created)
  2. The certainty: I am an artist and engineer, I have a lot of experience coaching people through mental blocks, I will give you a guarantee.
  3. The time: 1 year
  4. The effort: without giving up your mental sanity, quitting your job, or disconnecting from family

Value of this offer: 250,000+

10-15%: 25,000 – 37,500

2,083 – 3,125 per month

Three stages:

  1. Explore art
  2. Establish your routine
  3. Create your masterwork

Objections/fears:

  1. I don’t have enough time
  2. I don’t know what I want to do
  3. I have kids
  4. I don’t want to quit my job
  5. I don’t know what other people will like, what if people don’t like it
  6. Too much work
  7. Keep switching what I want to do

Rental Car Nightmares

Byjack

A couple of weeks ago, I rented a car at National car rental. My sister returned it for me, and I got a shock in my email a few weeks later.

I immediate assumed this had to be a scam, or some sort of mistake. But the more I read, the more that I could tell this was actually legit. They had the right time, the right place and right company. They were charging me for $1295.81 for damages to the vehicle.

Looking at this deeper I noticed that the line items were VERY extensive, replaces door parts and handles. According to them, the car was HEAVILY damaged.

Looking at the pictures, I could barely see any of the damages they were indicating. It almost felt like they were offloading the cost of wear and tear on me.

Obviously I was LIVID.

  • I knew that there were some small marks on the car when I picked it up, but I never took any pictures.
  • I knew that no damage whatsoever happened when I had the car. I didn’t think any of this damage was on the car when I picked it up, but the damage in the photos are so subtle its hard for me to be sure.
  • I had rental insurance specifically for this car, but didn’t want to file a claim for something I didn’t do.
  • My sister had someone walk around the car and CONFIRM it was ok before she returned it. They parked it, and who knows what happened after that.
  • National has a service for their “Emerald Isle” premium members where you can pick up and drop off a car without ever seeing someone.
    • This now seemed like a LIABILITY not a PERK since now I can’t get them to acknowledge damage on the car.
    • I’m a new member and if they were going to be f*cking sticklers about this whole thing, they should have EXPLAINED it to me. I would have got them to sign off on EVERY F*CKING SCRATCH BEFORE AND AFTER returning the car.

So I went to chase down this problem:

  1. I called National Support, and they told me that I needed to call their damage unit. I asked them to make a note on my case so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.
  2. After I called their damage unit, they redirected me to someone else.
  3. After getting to another person, they redirected me to someone else.
  4. The last person seemed to know what they were talking about, but I had repeat myself because she could not access any of the notes that National Support wrote down.

The last woman who oversaw the appeals to the damages told me the following information:

  • Generally its better if you take photos beforehand, however, in situations where the “damage” is so small it is easy to miss, you can appeal and they will dismiss it. They consider it human error.
  • She told me that my “damages” were definitely small enough that someone might have missed it before (so it may not be caused by me).
  • She agreed to waive all of the fees.

So my lessons learned from this whole experience:

  1. Always get rental car insurance just in case.
  2. Take a video when you pick up the car to prove the condition of the car beforehand. (It’s gonna be me in the parking lot being like “hey this is me in the parking lot picking up this car at X time” so they have proof I didn’t take the video at some other place or time)
  3. Take a video of the car when you return it.
  4. If they try to charge you for something really small and not visible in your videos, appeal, and they will probably dismiss it.
  5. It’s good to be a mix of legitimately angry (I was furious) but polite at the same time (I apologized in advance telling them I was very upset but I knew it wasn’t their fault personally). As a result, they were helpful and resolved my issue quickly.

A day later I got an email.

Workpost 40: Refinement of the Game

Byjack

Today I made some definite progress. Even though I have the exact same feeling of lack of motivation, no interest in working. Wanting to just play games, I felt significantly better, having done spleen chi exercises both before bed and after waking up in the morning. As a result I started working 3 hours earlier than yesterday.

Today, I want to improve upon and refine on the game that I created for myself yesterday.

Firstly, in my walking meditation this morning, some wisdom came to me.

Relaxed > Easy > Fast

This was the wisdom first introduced to me in the book, Born to Run where the author talks about how you run completely relaxed first. Then you make your running more smooth, more efficient. If you are able to make it efficient and relaxed, you WILL be fast.

This is the same thing in Valorant. In your warmups you aren’t instantly trying to one tap everyone. You aren’t trying to do it fast. If you do, you probably are going too fast and the warmup won’t work.

You want to start slow (or even in the Miyagi technique, don’t even follow through with a shot, just track the target). As it becomes easy for you to hit headtaps, then you start to gradually speed up.

I want to implement this in my warmups. First, start off doing intense workout with the aim of expansion. Then focus on some brainteasers (Miyagi, completely relaxed). After a few minutes of that, work on to do list, trying to make my relaxed thinking more efficient and clean. Finally, at the tail end of the warmup, try to go fast. My thoughts are:

  • 5 min physical warmup
  • 2 min brainteasers
  • 5 min todolist
  • 3 min buffer

Then for the actual match, I would like to break it up more often with some deep breathing every 5 minutes, like I do with Valorant between rounds.

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In The Wreckage

Byjack
In The Wreckage

As I sit in the wreckage of my life

The pieces, strewn about the floor around my feet

I wonder

Has she read my messages

Does she now know

That it was all a misunderstanding

And that only by leaving

Did I finally draw out the truth

That could have prevented everything

I wonder what will happen next

And how I can stand up again

When all I want to do

Is lie on the ground

Curled up

Like a hibernating bear

Waiting for the summer

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Profit In Peace 17: Preparation

Byjack

This morning I feel damn tired. And I feel stressed.

I know I have to pack my bags for home, check into my flight, and cook all the raw food in the fridge.

I also want to play more Valorant since I never have time for more than 2 or 3 games without interrupting my bedtime. I finally placed an alt account in Silver 1 and I’m loving it, not having to think very hard, just play for the fun of it.

I would also love to work on my French challenge and spend some time with the mimic technique. I was thinking last night about using connection theory to understand what it would take to think in French, instead of just being really good at translating in my head from English to French and the answer that came to me is that I just need to mimic a lot of French speakers, and not just mimic what they say, but how they say it.

Also, for today, right after my morning run, I would like to continue and finish my next section of my VOD review and perhaps plan out some posts for my art coach Instagram.

Just came back from my run and I have to say, I want to be out there more. A walk out in the world is a wonderful way to think through stuff.

A Sacred Thing

The biggest disservice that they did me

Was getting me onto the ideal of controlling

How others feel about me

Because controlling how others feel

Puts ME into a cage as well

The mask of their surface wants

Is forced upon my face

And I would trade my freedom

For their approval any day

I think, as I walk past people

That how someone feels about you

Is a sacred thing

There is no need to change how they feel about us

Just as much as we can seek to understand not control our own feelings

To look upon the world

Without fear

Means to own the world again

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Workpost 19: Rejection

Byjack

I am slowly getting back into things. After completely messing up my bedtime, getting it back, getting sick, losing my bedtime again, I am finally getting back into the swing of things.

I want to refocus on the things that I set out to focus on: Health, AI Consulting, Art Coaching.

I want to have an 11-12 PM bedtime, journaling at night, morning walking meditation, and morning todo list and blog post.

Today on my morning walk I contemplated rejection.

You know I always felt that working on yourself made you more prepared for life in general and I always felt my fear of rejection was holding me back from a lot of things in life, initially from getting a girlfriend, but later from being a life coach.

Recently I had the experience of meeting with a client for a free session for which they were super impressed by but when I sent them my rates, they did not respond. This immediately triggered the rejection wounds within me. I also just had an artist interview who was late to our conversation, did not agree to the full hour, and did not want to schedule another time to complete our conversation which triggered rejection wounds within me.

I feel scared that if I ask for things, people will reject me. I’m afraid it will be awkward to talk to them afterwards, I’m afraid how others will view me after getting rejected.

This morning I came up with a couple of nuggets to handle and process rejection:

  1. Take up space: there is a part of me that wants to hide when people reject me. I want to take up as little space as possible. This concept is doing the opposite. I deserve to be here like everyone else. Take up space! Make the ask!
  2. Enthusiastic yes: I don’t want people to feel pressured. I am going to follow the philosophy on the Prosperous Coach. It’s either an enthusiastic yes, or its a no. Maybe is a no. And tell them that. If they are not sure, they know where to find you.
  3. Slow down: I realized this new revelation in Valorant has implications in life too. When I feel stressed about rejection and awkwardness, shame, and judgement, slow down. I usually try to speed up, to move past it. Slow way down, focus on what is going on before charging ahead.
  4. Stay busy, focus on the process not the outcome: one thing that I noticed, when I’m busy doing what matters, I won’t care as much about anything else. I want to focus on health, coaching and consulting. Don’t let anyone’s rejection take away from that. It’s like what they say about cold calling. Focus on the process, not the outcomes (focus on improving your process for cold calling, not for the outcome of every call).