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Jiujitsu Challenge? Knee Challenge
Ok, so I no longer have an ongoing jiujitsu challenge, and I don’t really know if I have a knee challenge or not.
However, I really want to start that now. I feel really good about my progression.
It all started with 10 round Tuesday.
I went 3 rounds (2 days ago on the 21st). I absolutely died. I didn’t recover from feeling dizzy and like I was going to throw up for an hour after that.
I ate food when I got home, and slept like a baby after.
Ever since, I went to jiujitsu everyday.
On wednesday I was feeling super undermotivated, but I found an old training buddy and it was actually a good time.
Today I had even more fun.
My stamina seems to be increasing fast. I’m sore everyday and I still feel fine.
My knee feels good. It doesn’t hurt every day.
It feels strong. I feel like I can push myself more now.
My knee therapy and techniques around walking backwards, shifting my knee to be more balanced, stretching the hips and pointing the knee in the direction of the knee. AND IT’S BEEN WORKING.
I learned a lot from live rolls:
- Don’t let someone get a completely dominant position, interrupt their attacks, move to the side
- Don’t let your arms separate too much, too easy to armbar
- Don’t let both arms get trapped above your head, too easy to armbar
I’m learning some basic attacks, armbars, leg locks, chokes.
Very cool stuff.
Valorant 41: Editing the Trifecta
I still believe in the same idea of focusing on fewer things but I’ve made a few adjustments.
First, I increased my sens to .37 on 400 dpi in order to make it easier to hit flicks.
Then I focus on two things:
- Clearing angles like I’m attached to a dolly wheels and slide into the peek
- Stopping only when I am on someone’s head
- Crouching if I don’t hit my shot
Similar concept to: combination of crosshair placement and strafing
Core Wounds 9
I kind of dropped the ball on these because I don’t know if I feel like challenging my core wounds, but I think I need to keep going for the 21 days at least. It is interesting because you are supposed to focus on one core wound. I don’t know which one I would focus on, but maybe if I just keep going there is one that I will want to focus on.
I was talking to a friend about how it is hard to work on yourself sometimes. What I told her is that it is sometimes scary to think about who you might change into, but I think there is another reason. Sometimes it is hard to work on yourself because in order to work on yourself you first need to look at yourself in the mirror and face who you are, and that isn’t easy to do.
I think a big core wound or belief is that there is something wrong with me, that no one will actually like me if they know who I really am, that I’m weak and creepy and unattractive.
She Said I Made Her Day
Walking up to her out of the blue
On the streets of new york city
On the college campus
They both told me
I made their day
The next girl
Will think you are the one
She told me
And when I asked the girl
Lost in her own world
In a song she just found
Whether or not she thought I was attractive
She said yes
I felt she wanted to say more
But was too shy
Core Wounds 8
Today I wanted to look at the core wound of feeling like no one will truly understand me and or truly love me.
Sharing Circle
I was in the circle
Of kings they said
I didn’t want to be there
I was just too sad
But they opened up the space for me
To tell my story
Of how I fell in love with a girl
Who I felt others wouldn’t approve of
But I still loved
How I felt like things went wrong
But not because I broke them
But because life
Sometimes
Isn’t easy or simple
I cried
When I thought about it
Felt safe to feel it
Like the time when I was at the party
Solomon turned to me
And said
I know how that feels
And Tim asked me to
Channel it into the karaoke
My pain my loss
I feel that pain now
Valorant – Inner Game
The most interesting part of these videos is the last part of the second video, where they talk about inner game.
What I find interesting about inner game is the idea that mentally telling yourself to do something won’t work, but noticing will make your mind automatically make the change. This is the essence of connection theory and it is so interesting that psychologists have studied it.
Profit in Peace 11: Moving On???
Ok, I decided something weird that I’m not sure is going to work yet.
I decided that I’m going to keep this challenge going on forever and we will have different objective driving it constantly. It will be a sort of daily journal where I get to focus on Profit in Peace, finding my ikigai, tapping into my coaching energy, feeling into my body, working on my challenges, and discovering that the world is a magical place.
It will continue to be labeled like the other challenges, but it is different in the sense that it doesn’t have a specific end date. The end date might be just when this mentality, thinking of this as a Profit in Peace no longer serves me. Which might be never.
You know in a way this should be called Blog Post. Because it is the most blog post of blog posts. The sole purpose of these posts is literally to work on my life through my blog. But “Blog Post” just doesn’t evoke what I need for it to evoke, so we ain’t doing it.
So what is the focus for today?
Today we have a similar bent to yesterday but a little more focused on gaming. In no particular order, I want to:
- Play lots of valorant and create poems about how I feel about dropping to gold 1 and STILL losing
- Cook lots of food, be creative and have fun eating
- Watching another 20 minutes of the VOD review
- Work on my knee challenge
- Go for a run
Yesterday, I went for a short run.
Here is a poem about it:
Tingling in My Back
That’s the feeling when I push myself
My knees not ready for the impact
I want to massage my stomach and back
I’m aware of others watching
I wonder if Alice would be embarrassed of me
I want people to like me
Especially the girls
I think about how I learned to control what other’s thought of me
And that’s when everything went to a place
Shaky and scary
I remind myself
What others feel
Is out of my control
I’m proud of my innovative knee exercises
They make my prickly knees
Feel warm and supple again
I just came back from my most recent run. Today I focused on processing the anxiety being surrounded by everyone’s opinions of me. I realized a couple of things.
Dr Bea Mackay
She told me an exercise
The same one
Every session
Breath in breath out
I realized
It isn’t about other people
They never mattered
Neither did their opinions
I’m them
As a trigger for my pain
The sharp inhale
To take the pain
The release of the exhale
Filling me with warmth
From head to toe
The point was never to win their approval
It was to feel my pain
It is so interesting how Dr. Bea Mackay’s exercises are so similar to Wim Hoff’s. And Wim Hoff’s exercises are about enduring and thriving in pain too, just his are about cold and her’s are about emotions. No wonder so many people talk about the Wim Hoff method bringing them relief from chronic anxiety.