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Valorant 35: Breach Fracture

Byjack

Thoughts:

  • Can flash high on B
  • Stun choke in A is common
  • You can stun from far away

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The Valorant Challenge: From Silver 1 to Platinum 1

Byjack

I’m gonna try to do something crazy, which is to try to rise from Silver 1 to Platinum in Valorant.

For all of you who don’t know, Valorant is a competitive FPS shooter. Like all popular computer games that are competitive, it is extremely difficult to progress in rank.

When I first started Valorant I was in Iron 1 and after months of playing, I rose to Silver 1. Now I want to make a similar rise from Silver 1 to Platinum 1. But I want to do it faster this time. I want to do it within the course of 2-3 months.

I want to use this experience as a test of my speed learning skills and also how I can make videos for challenges.

I also believe that mindfulness and self-awareness can bring greater success than any brute force tactic, and I want to prove that with my progress in this game (which will be easy to measure and indisputable).

My current philosophy for speed learning:

  1. Embracement of pain
    1. Lower expectations
    2. Process emotions
    3. Try new things
  2. Self-reflection is KEY
    1. Need to see yourself
  3. Focus on fun
    1. Play when you want with things you like
  4. Small steps
    1. Don’t need to do everything in one day
    2. Do tiny steps if possible
  5. Prepare yourself
    1. Create an environment for success

Specifics:

  1. Embracement of pain
    1. Don’t set goals
    2. Assume I’m gonna do bad
    3. Slow down and process when I’m doing bad
    4. Always try new strats
  2. Self-reflection
    1. LOTS of VOD reviews
  3. Focus on fun
    1. Only play comp when you want to
    2. Other days do light practice
    3. Focus on agents you have fun with (focus on agent abilities that are fun)
  4. Small steps
    1. Find ways to practice in aimlabs, spike rush and deathmatch
  5. Prepare yourself
    1. Work on environment
    2. Work on posture

NEXT: What my plan on filming will be.

Also, got recommend How to Fight Thich Nhat Hanh by a friend on how to work on mindfulness.

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Valorant 23: Hitting Plat

Byjack

It has finally happened. I’ve hit plat in Valorant. A journey that was supposed to take 2-3 months, but instead took a year and two months (14 months).

Blood sweat and tears went into this challenge, and I learned something interesting at each rank.

IRON

Iron was an interesting rank because it was the rank when I was first learning how to use my mouse and keyboard in a game. I had never played a shooter game on the pc, and haven’t played many serious games at all on the PC. 

Getting out of iron was simply learning how not to make extremely basic mistakes such as reloading out in the open, not getting stuck on walls, planting and defusing the bomb.

BRONZE

Bronze was also an interesting rank. I started actually enjoying the game more here since I had a better idea of what was going on. Bronze rank was still stressful because I would get killed out of nowhere all the time.

I don’t really remember what I did to get out of bronze rank, but I think it had something to do with playing off of my util and learning how to check corners where people hide.

SILVER

I was stuck in silver for a long time. Silver was where I learned a lot about aiming and movement and got quite good at it.

What eventually got me out of silver was learning how to preaim angles.

GOLD

Gold is not a very interesting rank, everyone is pretty much like silver but with slightly better util and aim.

However, perhaps the most interesting thing in the whole challenge is how I got out of gold. I got out of gold primarily by getting more confident.

I did this in two ways:

  1. I focused on a few agents and learned how to get reliable value out of their util (Chamber tp locations, Brim lineups, Sova lineups).
  2. I dealt with some of my underlying negative self talk

I hear lots of things that people say about confidence:

“Stay positive”

“Imagine you are the best”

I always thought these ideas were bogus since I always thought confidence was about one thing: Feeling comfortable in your own skin.

But I started to doubt myself when I say professional Valorant coaching advocating (SEN Zellsis) for the “cocky confidence” mentality and I was stuck in silver.

But I think in the end, I was right. In order to be confident, you need to feel safe and at peace. The real question, is HOW?

Here are the main ideas:

  1. In order to be confident, you need to be ok with not being great (not being smart, successful, attractive, etc.)
  2. In order to be ok with those things, you need to process your traumas and limiting beliefs.
  3. In order to process, you must welcome in your limiting beliefs and incorporate it into yourself.

My limiting beliefs were:

  • “If I don’t succeed, I don’t think I’m worth anything”
  • “I need to beat myself up for every mistake and always think I’m worse in order to not mess up”

Simply by saying those things in my head, made me feel clarity every time I started to stress out and I suddenly felt calm. I gave myself permission to continue to berate myself (or not) but simply welcoming these parts in instead of avoiding them (and having them show up as unresolved stress), made me have a clear mentality that made my rise to plat.

I learned I have a huge amount of power, intelligence and creativity that are locked up by stress and fear. Slowing down, focusing on a few things at a time, and embracing my fears allows me to operate at my fullest potential.

What I thought confidence was:

  • Fake it until you make it
  • Cocky
  • Don’t care
  • Aggressive

What confidence actually is:

  • Ok with failing
  • Calm and clear-headed
  • Balanced
  • Trust yourself
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Valorant 39: Mind Training (PreGame)

Byjack

Today we are going back to the Valorant Challenge but from a different perspective.

I strongly felt that the one time when I didn’t feel stressed at all, but instead felt the timings of the enemy and where they could be, and how I could systematically take them apart, I was playing Valorant at a significantly higher level.

Some thoughts for today:

  • Closing eyes to mental reset
  • Playing music to hype up
  • Breathing and letting the energy carry the action

Most of all, I will endeavor to feel out the enemy’s position and figure out how I can take the map piece by piece with util, teamwork and aim diff.

I will create another post after the game to review how that went.

Core Beliefs 5

Byjack

I don’t know exactly if this is a core wound, but I strongly believe that I am responsible for people’s emotions and that I am a bad person.

In order to process this (a rebalance my emotions), I am going to focus on a time when I hurt someone and focus on the part right before it so I can remember that there is a good reason for doing what I did and perhaps have a little more compassion for myself.

The Phone Call

She was a lonely girl

Quiet and shy

I wanted to be kind

By being a good friend

But she seemed to want more

When she asked me

If she could sleep in my bed

What to do

If she was sexually frustrated

I did my best to set my boundaries

I did my best to be firm

But she kept pushing

And it was too much

I knew too little

To do anything than

To push her away hard

After years

Of sending me letters and emails

She must have know

I didn’t want to talk

I just wish

She knew

It wasn’t her fault

That I didn’t like her

But I needed

To be able to say no

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Artistic Life Challenge

Byjack

I don’t really know much about what I want from this challenge yet just so as to say that there was a part of my life when I felt really connected to visual art. I used to draw all the time, I used to think about ideas for paintings and dream of illustrating children’s books and graphic novels.

A part of me is still excited by those things but for whatever reason, maybe it was going to a school without passionate artists, maybe it was pushing myself to be more logical and working in logical STEM fields for years, or maybe it was just a part of growing up – I lost touch with art somewhere along the way.

The challenge is simple but difficult to define. I will have succeeded if I feel that I am meeting my need to be creative and finding that joy, wonder, and creativity in my life again like I did when I was younger.

I will try to express the feelings through a poem:

Anything Was Possible

Anything was possible back then

And by anything I don’t mean that I ever dreamed of anything as boring as a seven-figure salery

I felt the worlds of magic at my fingertips

The rush and pull of sorcery

A great clash between good and evil

And a bond between friends, unwavering

Of great courage and great sacrifice

I think now

In what my younger self could have only described

As old age

30 years old is practically ancient

I know that the only way I can do this challenge

Is not through an arbitrary goal or metric

But rather it has to be a portal to another world

A graphic novel

Like I always wanted

Or an illustrated book

It doesn’t matter

Because it is the world that matters

The world that I can escape to

Like the little mouse hole my six year old self would crawl into

To read frog and toad books at the library

Perhaps this has all come full circle after all

Because 30 years old is precisely the age

My younger self would expect to be the time

When people stopped being readers

And started being writers

The creators of the worlds

Like the ones I used to like to escape to

When I was young

It’s actually both fantastic and sad that it took a poem for me to understand what my focus will be for my art challenge. I think I will rename this challenge. I wanted to find myself reinspired by art, and I forget how art inspired me in the first place – by entering and creating other worlds.

This will now be known as the “The Other World” challenge and I will dedicate a year to it.

One year to develop another world that I can dive into, be comforted by, and be lost in.

That means by October 9th, 2024 I will endeavor to have created a miracle. Shaped and molded a whole new universe out of words, images, and maybe even music.

I’m excited because I thought this challenge was going to be like the rest of them, so difficult and challenging. I thought it was going to be about doing Inktober and drawing for an art competition. I realize now that those goals are meaningless to me, and using them as goals, made me feel directionless in art.

This feels more true to my love for art. I remember crying to my girlfriend today about a beautiful book I read when I was young, called the Power of Un. It was a world that I fell into, just like all the others. It was all these worlds that made me feel excited for life. And it is the absence of these worlds that have left me feeling like some part of me was lost and never quite found.

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Knee Strength 4: Didn’t Sleep Well

Byjack

I slept last night not very well. I woke up a couple of times, and I was tossing and turning. Just wanted to report back and say that the crossing the legs and bending my legs definitely helped me a lot.

I don’t know what I want to work on today. Maybe massage.

That feels sort of right. Stretching and massage for additional recovery. I don’t really know yet.

Update on goals:

  1. Lift up my knee and bend it feeling stable, comfortable and strong
  2. Stand for 5 minutes while feeling comfortable
  3. Lay on either side feeling comfortable and relaxed
  4. Sit on my heels while feeling comfortable and relaxed
  5. Be able to jump feeling stable, comfortable, and strong
  6. Able to kick a roundhouse while feel stable, comfortable and strong

Well I’m surprised! I thought there was a goal on just feeling comfortable normally. But I never created a goal on that, but I am succeeding at that. Walking around, sitting, and relaxing feelings more comfortable than ever before.

The closest goal I am to achieving is goal 2. I learned that sitting back on the heels, pronating helps as well.

“Pronation refers to the way your foot rolls inward for impact distribution upon landing. It’s part of the natural movement of the human body but it differs from person to person. As your foot strikes the ground it rolls inward to absorb the shock.”

Wow makes sense that since I’m supinating (rolling heel outwards), it is not good at absorbing shock. I must have unconsciously started doing that as a result of trying to alleviate pressure on my hurt leg.