I have so many things I sorta want to work on but I feel scattered. Part of the problem is that these new glasses are making me dizzy and I don’t really like them very much.
Here are some of my options:
Figure out how to talk to retirement homes about art coaching
Create art coaching website
Write about social anxiety and process
Process feelings of being a failure
Improve vision
Get better at video editing
Work on my art
Work on my music
Improve my bloating
Work on my sleep
Work on my digestion
Work on skool games
I feel lost and I just gravitate towards anything that has some level of an answer for me.
I feel that maybe there one answer to a lot of things. I strongly believe my bloating is due to stress. And while there are many ways to work on stress, I feel breathing might be one of the most powerful ways to manage stress.
If I focus on breathing, I can also focus on singing as it involves breathwork. I also believe it will make a big difference in my digestion and maybe even social anxiety.
So what if I focus on breathing for stress, bloating, anxiety, and singing. What if I make a video about it, hitting another area as well. What video format do I want to follow?
I think I’ll keep it simple, and follow Beau Miles, one of my favorites.
Today I woke up feeling really tired. I felt undermotivated to do the things that I want to do: take walks, write in my journal. I think I’ve also been finding it hard to retain purpose for some reason, or motivation or energy to power that purpose.
I realized this morning that a big reason as to why is simply health. I felt too much discomfort in my stomach in my head, too tired.
Today’s goals are simple:
Clean up my apartment to a level that I could invite people over and feel good about it
Focus on my health and wellness, drink lots of water and take naps, eat good food
Move around a lot, I have a lot of todo list items, and I can take them different places
I’m really excited for the last one, to get outside my apartment a little more. I have more money now to do these sorts of things, so I would like to explore austin a little more, go to the library, parks, coffee shops and just have a good time while I’m working through all the different to-do list items. I have some truly excellent protocols for figuring out how to work on the move and I want to use them.
I feel really tired today. I am worried about my sleep cycle. At least I went to bed 30 minutes earlier than I did the night before at 1:30 AM. I really feel I need more sleep than that to be healthy.
I suppose I can commit to taking a nap today.
Something I was wondering, is if I put positive, confident people on a pedestal. I mean, they can’t be that great right? I like how calm I can feel around them, but I can get that anywhere. In fact, one of the ways that I want to develop myself as a coach is to live more by the coaching mindset (you’re in my house, be patient, take risks, be ok with silence). If I live by that mindset 24/7, not only will I get more clients, I will also feel more calm in everything that I do.
Ok now onto the projects:
Goal: Shoot 3 videos, spend 3 hours on each. I have 2 days to do this.
I think today this will be my primary focus.
The videos I want to choose are:
Can AI be used to create a cure?
Today I’m going to try to use AI to cure all diseases.
How do cures work?
What part of the process can AI help?
What skills are still needed in the age of AI?
AI can do everything, write essays, create art, open doors, and even create videos
Where does that leave you?
Today I’m going to figure out what humans still need to know in the age of AI
How can AI be used to develop innovative products?
Let’s say you got a product – reliable, affordable, but a little boring
Today I’m going to use AI to develop an innovative product
Ok, so in doing this exercise I realize that I have to pivot. none of these ideas are going to take 3 hours to make. I need to choose something that is really really fast to make.
My new top 3:
GPT Prompt: Ask AI to explain a really difficult concept to you on a 2nd grade level
Do you want the be the world’s smartest man…or woman?
Today I’m going to use AI to enhance my intelligence with one simple prompt
Explain it to me like I’m in 2nd grade
GPT Prompt: Take everything in your fridge and ask for recipes
Can I cook like Gordon Ramsey with nothing in my fridge?
Today I’m challenging myself to cook like a high dining chef using one simple prompt
Give me a high-dining recipe
GPT Prompt: Take a boardgame and invent new rules
Monopoly is boring
Let’s make it insane with one simple prompt
Use the monopoly boardgame and make it more skill based
Ok time for Goal 2.
UNIT ONE: Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month | Day 1 Create plans
1 hr of meditation every day
1 hr of speaking to other people about this every day
Today I feel a bit scattered between cooking and working on multiple things at the same time. I feel the need to create some order or at least some vision for today.
I feel exhausted. My head feels numb. I feel hot and tired. My back aches.
My heart feels heavy. I feel angry at myself. So helpless. My mind in a fog.
My apartment is a mess. I just want to cry.
I can’t work. I just play games all day long. my eyes feel tired.
It’s 2 o’clock in the morning. All I want to do is eat and play video games. The pull is so strong in my heart like there is a strand of honey getting pulled.
I feel a numb panic deep in my chest. I’m afraid of failure. I’m scared I will disappoint myself and everyone around me. Pushing myself to make my business cards is only making me curl up even harder.
It was a long week. I’m exhausted. But the work just keeps coming.
I guess I can cancel tai chi tomorrow. Sleep in.
Tonight I can clean my apartment until I feel more peaceful.
I know I can use the gym as a way to process emotions, but I don’t use it.
I feel this pull, this overwhelm, like the honey being pulled, from my heart.
I’m capable of anything. Even rising from this challenge. This is important because as I get more successful, there will be days I feel exhausted, and in those moments, I need to find a way to find balance, to find peace.
I also want to learn to embrace failure. Failure is so scary to me. There is an image in my mind of my business cards being a complete disappointment and I feel a pit in my heart. A horrible amaturish website I’m not proud of and I can’t fix it.
Everyone starts somewhere. Everyone starts at the beginning. The people who are exceptional, who are savants are not people who started at the middle. They are people who enjoyed the beginning.
But how can I enjoy this? I feel so scared it won’t be good.
Makes me think of this video:
In this video, Jesse talks about how play allows us to feel pressure while still being able to learn.
That fun is the key to this.
But what is the key to fun? What would make this fun for me, regardless of the outcome, what would make designing and drawing fun for me?
What would make it an infinite game, not just a finite game focused on an end goal?
It’s true, the thought of designing business cards does not sound fun to me at all. It sounds like a slog. But maybe that’s because I’m worried about failing.
Ok, what if I tried to merge my painterly style with “woodcut” style prints. What if I created a new drawing technique that I could use to create cool stuff for friends and to sell as products?
That definitely sounds more like play to me.
So what about going to the gym, because I like it so much when I actually go, but I find it hard to go to begin with.
What if I saw it as supercharging myself – which it really is doing. Whether I go to lift weights or just to hang from the bar and stretch it really is building my body up to full potential. It might even solve my sleep problems.
And what about sleep, why do I not want to go to bed? Because if I go to bed, tomorrow, I wake up with tons of problems. Well maybe, that’s not a bad thing. Maybe before I go to bed, I fill my to do list with questions that I want to search out the answers to.
Here are the questions I have today, that if I knew the answers to I would rest easy:
What am I going to do about my art coaching and AI gaming companies?
Am I behind schedule and if so what do I do about it?
Should I extend the schedule?
Am I losing money?
How do I get out of my procrastination phase and get working?
What do I do about my art coaching website?
How do I get everything done in such a short period of time?
Should I start registering for fairs?
Should I pay someone to design the website for me?
How am I going to get the motivation to start drawing? How do I start drawing consistently?
How do I start going to the gym and working outsite the apartment consistently?
How will I start cooking again and cleaning up my apartment? Where will I find the time?
How will I prepare for the next week of work? How do I balance my other businesses?
When will I continue to work on my Javascript projects? What is the breakdown between AI work time and coaching work time.
So I’m pretty frustrated because this is the second time I am writing this blog post. The first time I wrote this blog post, the post was bugging out and didn’t save properly.
Not too happy about that.
In the spirit of growth, I am going to let go of that blog post and focus on creating an entirely new one without losing the essence of what I wanted to say in the first one I wrote.
This morning I was feeling really stressed out and I was really enjoying my walk. I feel like this whole questions meditations thing has really worked out. I really like journaling at night, and walking during the day. Before when I was forcing myself to go outside because I felt like I had to, I kinda hated it. It was nice once I got outside, but before then it was pretty awful.
Now, since I know I’m going use the time to meditate on some of the questions I have in my heart, I feel really excited and motivated to go outside in the morning.
Here are the main things I was stressed out about this morning:
My career, didn’t know where I was going next
My medical bills, spent 8k on a new medical device, hundreds more for my GI doctor
My financial issues, I spent 700 more than I made yesterday
My coaching career, still not anywhere close to making enough money to be self sufficient
I could move back home, but then I’m worried about having a place for my girlfriend to visit me
And through my amazing short 20 minute walk, here are the answers I got:
Acknowledge that you are taking a huge risk by paying 1,700 per month on rent with very little income and building coaching business from 0
Risk is not a bad thing, it is an incredible catalyst for growth
Risk means, now is the time to shine. Focus on the few things that matter most
Building an really strong foundation of health, a very strong structure for getting stuff done
Changing the lives of my current coaching clients
Work slowly towards my career in AI
It’s ok to invest money in the medical bills because they directly help with my foundational health goal. Double down on the investment by focusing a lot on sleep and digestion.
Let go of all other goals and distractions because now is go time. Just work on small projects or really gradual work.