I was in a men’s support group tonight and I was mulling over some of the recent discoveries I had:
I realized that the right person in your life will be someone who will accept everything about you. Someone who isn’t like that may just not be right for you.
I usually walk away at the first sign I feel someone doesn’t understand me. I learned not to give up so quickly if it’s someone I love. If they care about you, they will try to understand. It may take some time, but they will.
I realized I have a very deep-seated hatred of women that is shoved down so deep I didn’t know it existed. I feel this has affected my life in profound ways and I want to explore this deeper and understand why.
I realized that the way I work myself to death isn’t healthy and I need to find a better way.
I chose to explore the last realization – how I approach work. Through the discussion and coaching, I realized the following:
I feel deep shame for asking for help because I feel like this means I’m not good enough and disorganized.
I think of everything in terms of lone wolfing everything – when in fact I work on a team. The work I do benefits the company I work for, my colleagues and my customers (as I believe in the product).
There is no shame in asking for help.
In the past, when I used to troubleshoot customer issues, I would work until 4 am in the morning and not feel like it is work because I know who it is for, and how I am helping them (I felt good about it).
I resolve going forward, that every time I get overwhelmed and feel the urge to procrastinate I’ll do the following:
Ask myself who I am helping
Myself for the money and experience I will gain
My family, and friends because of the money and time, and experience I can share with them if I succeed at my work
My colleagues for how my work will benefit their lives and careers
My customers for whom my work will transform their businesses and their personal careers.
Focus on doing the work to help them (not just to get it done).
I will never forget the story of the teacher who said the moment that teaching transformed for them was the moment that they stopped trying to teach, and focused on helping their students learn. This feels like that moment to me.
I need to be kinder to myself. To enjoy my life when I’m tired and my body is hurting. I should eat out, take breaks, watch tv. There is no shame in asking for help. I’m on a team. Most of all, I should focus on how my work will help others not just myself.
“Every man is a divinity in disguise, a god playing the fool.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
The last few weeks have been exhausting and emotionally draining. I came to Austin to find myself and focus on building myself up and I need to focus my energy on myself.
I need to focus on my physical and mental health and I intend to use my blog as a way to track my thoughts, struggles and progress.
Things I want to focus on:
Thais Gibson’s personal development school – to focus on healing childhood trauma
Self massage, gua sha and posture – to align body and remove tension
Dance – to regain body awareness
Food and nutrition – to feed the healing of my body
Sleep – to regain energy and heal myself
Now the next piece is to break down every bit of resistance or difficulty in every aspect.
Personal development school courses
Lots of long videos
Worksheets
Poorly organized
Love and connection: work with Jenny or someone else
Certainty: Timebox, skim through entire course to get understanding
Growth: Capture video blogs throughout to see progress
Massage and Posture
Certainty: Every morning and night, indulge in the sensations
Growth: Capture pictures to see progress
Dance
Certainty: Watch old lessons every morning, feel body
Uncertainty: Try to create something new
Love and connection: Share on social media or with friends
Growth: Create videos of progress
Food and nutrition
Certainty: Cook enough food in the morning to sustain throughout the day, cook food prep that will make it easy and fast, have ritual around eating food (no electronics)
Love and connection: Invite someone over for lunch, share on social media or friends
Sleep
Certainty: Start brushing teeth around 10 PM
Love and connection: write a core wound post before bed or a poem or do some art
I also want to focus on weekly health audits and setting up a really nice space to shoot videos and work and play games.
Need to operate on a meditative state and trust strong intuition in order to reduce brain effort
Warmup felt a bit unfocused, maybe want to try specific thinking strategies, especially involving exercise
I have a bit of a headache now, but I don’t think it is because of the way I worked, I think it’s because of how tired I am, maybe need more rest + exercise, would like to try with a more exercise heavy strategy.
Felt like MUCH longer than an hour, felt like I have been working for 3 hours.
Result Calculation:
How much do I think this work is worth? I feel this work was worth maybe $200-$300. Rather tedious coding type work.
How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10? Maybe a 7.
What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation? 30% percentile
Gains in communication and charisma? A little since I am making the code more readable and clear.
Match 2
Reflections:
A lot less tension, with additional movement and breathing
Still trying to get my mind to cut through problems like a knife through butter, not sure how
Also felt like I was working for hours
Result Calculation:
How much do I think this work is worth? I feel this work was worth maybe $150-$200. Lots of grooming, project management, some architecture, some coding.
How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10? About a 7. Maybe 8. Grueling but not that difficult.
What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation? 40% percentile. Not that innovative but definitely clever and requires some knowledge and experience.
Gains in communication and charisma? Definitely helped make my flow much more clear. Will help with communication in the future.
I was pondering today on the subject of doing anything really really difficult and I came across a realization.
People often go after really difficult stuff in the wrong way. By difficult things I mean anything that has a high degree of complexity and a steep learning curve. This might be mastering a new skill like the piano, playing a difficult game, getting big on youtube, or starting a new business.
People often try to get results too quickly. They immediately try to focus on success instead of having fun and its not productive. They move into what I call the “WORK” phase too fast. The “WORK” phase is characterized by the following:
You are doing something “for real”. This can mean trying to make a business profitable or striking it out for real as a professional YouTuber.
You want to execute a game plan for success. Success is a major focus, and failure is going to cost you something.
Instead of jumping into the “WORK” phase, with ANYTHING with a high degree of difficulty, you need to first go through a “LEARNING” phase.
This “LEARNING” phase is characterized by a couple of things:
You have to be completely ok with failing and failing badly and over and over.
You should focus exclusively on finding what you like about the thing you are doing (having fun).
Exploring the thing, feeling out foundations should be the focus.
This is because success requires two things:
Solid fundamentals borne from experience and mastery of the fundamentals
Huge amounts of motivation due to the amount of hardship and failure you will experience.
The problem is, the “WORK” phase, when you have to perform and get results (make money off of your new business idea, perform on the piano, gain rank in the game) usually is not very fun. It is hard to build a good foundation or get motivation when you are so scared of failing.
The solution is clearly to not skip the “LEARNING” phase. Make sure you REALLY REALLY love the thing first, that you have tons and tons of fun, that you start to succeed without even trying before you start to TRY to perform when you switch over to the “WORK” phase. Maybe this means you start to make money off of the business you started, without even thinking about the business plan, or you start to rise in rank without even trying.
My visualization on the correct path for success.
The key part of the “LEARNING” phase is fun. Finding what you like about something is probably one of the most critical ingredients to success because motivation can pretty much overcome ANY obstacle.
Finding fun is both simple and difficult. Simple because all you need to do, is think about what makes you happy. Difficult because it is sometimes hard to pin down what makes you happy. You have to try many things. For me, letting yourself fail, is critical to having fun. With too much pressure, there is absolutely no room for play. I start every endeavor with the mantra, “I accept failure, it is ok/good to let myself fail”.
I was in a men’s support group tonight and I was mulling over some of the recent discoveries I had:
I realized that the right person in your life will be someone who will accept everything about you. Someone who isn’t like that may just not be right for you.
I usually walk away at the first sign I feel someone doesn’t understand me. I learned not to give up so quickly if it’s someone I love. If they care about you, they will try to understand. It may take some time, but they will.
I realized I have a very deep-seated hatred of women that is shoved down so deep I didn’t know it existed. I feel this has affected my life in profound ways and I want to explore this deeper and understand why.
I realized that the way I work myself to death isn’t healthy and I need to find a better way.
I chose to explore the last realization – how I approach work. Through the discussion and coaching, I realized the following:
I feel deep shame for asking for help because I feel like this means I’m not good enough and disorganized.
I think of everything in terms of lone wolfing everything – when in fact I work on a team. The work I do benefits the company I work for, my colleagues and my customers (as I believe in the product).
There is no shame in asking for help.
In the past, when I used to troubleshoot customer issues, I would work until 4 am in the morning and not feel like it is work because I know who it is for, and how I am helping them (I felt good about it).
I resolve going forward, that every time I get overwhelmed and feel the urge to procrastinate I’ll do the following:
Ask myself who I am helping
Myself for the money and experience I will gain
My family, and friends because of the money and time, and experience I can share with them if I succeed at my work
My colleagues for how my work will benefit their lives and careers
My customers for whom my work will transform their businesses and their personal careers.
Focus on doing the work to help them (not just to get it done).
I will never forget the story of the teacher who said the moment that teaching transformed for them was the moment that they stopped trying to teach, and focused on helping their students learn. This feels like that moment to me.
I need to be kinder to myself. To enjoy my life when I’m tired and my body is hurting. I should eat out, take breaks, watch tv. There is no shame in asking for help. I’m on a team. Most of all, I should focus on how my work will help others not just myself.
“Every man is a divinity in disguise, a god playing the fool.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
The last few weeks have been exhausting and emotionally draining. I came to Austin to find myself and focus on building myself up and I need to focus my energy on myself.
I need to focus on my physical and mental health and I intend to use my blog as a way to track my thoughts, struggles and progress.
Things I want to focus on:
Thais Gibson’s personal development school – to focus on healing childhood trauma
Self massage, gua sha and posture – to align body and remove tension
Dance – to regain body awareness
Food and nutrition – to feed the healing of my body
Sleep – to regain energy and heal myself
Now the next piece is to break down every bit of resistance or difficulty in every aspect.
Personal development school courses
Lots of long videos
Worksheets
Poorly organized
Love and connection: work with Jenny or someone else
Certainty: Timebox, skim through entire course to get understanding
Growth: Capture video blogs throughout to see progress
Massage and Posture
Certainty: Every morning and night, indulge in the sensations
Growth: Capture pictures to see progress
Dance
Certainty: Watch old lessons every morning, feel body
Uncertainty: Try to create something new
Love and connection: Share on social media or with friends
Growth: Create videos of progress
Food and nutrition
Certainty: Cook enough food in the morning to sustain throughout the day, cook food prep that will make it easy and fast, have ritual around eating food (no electronics)
Love and connection: Invite someone over for lunch, share on social media or friends
Sleep
Certainty: Start brushing teeth around 10 PM
Love and connection: write a core wound post before bed or a poem or do some art
I also want to focus on weekly health audits and setting up a really nice space to shoot videos and work and play games.
Need to operate on a meditative state and trust strong intuition in order to reduce brain effort
Warmup felt a bit unfocused, maybe want to try specific thinking strategies, especially involving exercise
I have a bit of a headache now, but I don’t think it is because of the way I worked, I think it’s because of how tired I am, maybe need more rest + exercise, would like to try with a more exercise heavy strategy.
Felt like MUCH longer than an hour, felt like I have been working for 3 hours.
Result Calculation:
How much do I think this work is worth? I feel this work was worth maybe $200-$300. Rather tedious coding type work.
How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10? Maybe a 7.
What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation? 30% percentile
Gains in communication and charisma? A little since I am making the code more readable and clear.
Match 2
Reflections:
A lot less tension, with additional movement and breathing
Still trying to get my mind to cut through problems like a knife through butter, not sure how
Also felt like I was working for hours
Result Calculation:
How much do I think this work is worth? I feel this work was worth maybe $150-$200. Lots of grooming, project management, some architecture, some coding.
How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10? About a 7. Maybe 8. Grueling but not that difficult.
What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation? 40% percentile. Not that innovative but definitely clever and requires some knowledge and experience.
Gains in communication and charisma? Definitely helped make my flow much more clear. Will help with communication in the future.
I was pondering today on the subject of doing anything really really difficult and I came across a realization.
People often go after really difficult stuff in the wrong way. By difficult things I mean anything that has a high degree of complexity and a steep learning curve. This might be mastering a new skill like the piano, playing a difficult game, getting big on youtube, or starting a new business.
People often try to get results too quickly. They immediately try to focus on success instead of having fun and its not productive. They move into what I call the “WORK” phase too fast. The “WORK” phase is characterized by the following:
You are doing something “for real”. This can mean trying to make a business profitable or striking it out for real as a professional YouTuber.
You want to execute a game plan for success. Success is a major focus, and failure is going to cost you something.
Instead of jumping into the “WORK” phase, with ANYTHING with a high degree of difficulty, you need to first go through a “LEARNING” phase.
This “LEARNING” phase is characterized by a couple of things:
You have to be completely ok with failing and failing badly and over and over.
You should focus exclusively on finding what you like about the thing you are doing (having fun).
Exploring the thing, feeling out foundations should be the focus.
This is because success requires two things:
Solid fundamentals borne from experience and mastery of the fundamentals
Huge amounts of motivation due to the amount of hardship and failure you will experience.
The problem is, the “WORK” phase, when you have to perform and get results (make money off of your new business idea, perform on the piano, gain rank in the game) usually is not very fun. It is hard to build a good foundation or get motivation when you are so scared of failing.
The solution is clearly to not skip the “LEARNING” phase. Make sure you REALLY REALLY love the thing first, that you have tons and tons of fun, that you start to succeed without even trying before you start to TRY to perform when you switch over to the “WORK” phase. Maybe this means you start to make money off of the business you started, without even thinking about the business plan, or you start to rise in rank without even trying.
My visualization on the correct path for success.
The key part of the “LEARNING” phase is fun. Finding what you like about something is probably one of the most critical ingredients to success because motivation can pretty much overcome ANY obstacle.
Finding fun is both simple and difficult. Simple because all you need to do, is think about what makes you happy. Difficult because it is sometimes hard to pin down what makes you happy. You have to try many things. For me, letting yourself fail, is critical to having fun. With too much pressure, there is absolutely no room for play. I start every endeavor with the mantra, “I accept failure, it is ok/good to let myself fail”.
I was in a men’s support group tonight and I was mulling over some of the recent discoveries I had:
I realized that the right person in your life will be someone who will accept everything about you. Someone who isn’t like that may just not be right for you.
I usually walk away at the first sign I feel someone doesn’t understand me. I learned not to give up so quickly if it’s someone I love. If they care about you, they will try to understand. It may take some time, but they will.
I realized I have a very deep-seated hatred of women that is shoved down so deep I didn’t know it existed. I feel this has affected my life in profound ways and I want to explore this deeper and understand why.
I realized that the way I work myself to death isn’t healthy and I need to find a better way.
I chose to explore the last realization – how I approach work. Through the discussion and coaching, I realized the following:
I feel deep shame for asking for help because I feel like this means I’m not good enough and disorganized.
I think of everything in terms of lone wolfing everything – when in fact I work on a team. The work I do benefits the company I work for, my colleagues and my customers (as I believe in the product).
There is no shame in asking for help.
In the past, when I used to troubleshoot customer issues, I would work until 4 am in the morning and not feel like it is work because I know who it is for, and how I am helping them (I felt good about it).
I resolve going forward, that every time I get overwhelmed and feel the urge to procrastinate I’ll do the following:
Ask myself who I am helping
Myself for the money and experience I will gain
My family, and friends because of the money and time, and experience I can share with them if I succeed at my work
My colleagues for how my work will benefit their lives and careers
My customers for whom my work will transform their businesses and their personal careers.
Focus on doing the work to help them (not just to get it done).
I will never forget the story of the teacher who said the moment that teaching transformed for them was the moment that they stopped trying to teach, and focused on helping their students learn. This feels like that moment to me.
I need to be kinder to myself. To enjoy my life when I’m tired and my body is hurting. I should eat out, take breaks, watch tv. There is no shame in asking for help. I’m on a team. Most of all, I should focus on how my work will help others not just myself.
“Every man is a divinity in disguise, a god playing the fool.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
The last few weeks have been exhausting and emotionally draining. I came to Austin to find myself and focus on building myself up and I need to focus my energy on myself.
I need to focus on my physical and mental health and I intend to use my blog as a way to track my thoughts, struggles and progress.
Things I want to focus on:
Thais Gibson’s personal development school – to focus on healing childhood trauma
Self massage, gua sha and posture – to align body and remove tension
Dance – to regain body awareness
Food and nutrition – to feed the healing of my body
Sleep – to regain energy and heal myself
Now the next piece is to break down every bit of resistance or difficulty in every aspect.
Personal development school courses
Lots of long videos
Worksheets
Poorly organized
Love and connection: work with Jenny or someone else
Certainty: Timebox, skim through entire course to get understanding
Growth: Capture video blogs throughout to see progress
Massage and Posture
Certainty: Every morning and night, indulge in the sensations
Growth: Capture pictures to see progress
Dance
Certainty: Watch old lessons every morning, feel body
Uncertainty: Try to create something new
Love and connection: Share on social media or with friends
Growth: Create videos of progress
Food and nutrition
Certainty: Cook enough food in the morning to sustain throughout the day, cook food prep that will make it easy and fast, have ritual around eating food (no electronics)
Love and connection: Invite someone over for lunch, share on social media or friends
Sleep
Certainty: Start brushing teeth around 10 PM
Love and connection: write a core wound post before bed or a poem or do some art
I also want to focus on weekly health audits and setting up a really nice space to shoot videos and work and play games.
Need to operate on a meditative state and trust strong intuition in order to reduce brain effort
Warmup felt a bit unfocused, maybe want to try specific thinking strategies, especially involving exercise
I have a bit of a headache now, but I don’t think it is because of the way I worked, I think it’s because of how tired I am, maybe need more rest + exercise, would like to try with a more exercise heavy strategy.
Felt like MUCH longer than an hour, felt like I have been working for 3 hours.
Result Calculation:
How much do I think this work is worth? I feel this work was worth maybe $200-$300. Rather tedious coding type work.
How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10? Maybe a 7.
What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation? 30% percentile
Gains in communication and charisma? A little since I am making the code more readable and clear.
Match 2
Reflections:
A lot less tension, with additional movement and breathing
Still trying to get my mind to cut through problems like a knife through butter, not sure how
Also felt like I was working for hours
Result Calculation:
How much do I think this work is worth? I feel this work was worth maybe $150-$200. Lots of grooming, project management, some architecture, some coding.
How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10? About a 7. Maybe 8. Grueling but not that difficult.
What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation? 40% percentile. Not that innovative but definitely clever and requires some knowledge and experience.
Gains in communication and charisma? Definitely helped make my flow much more clear. Will help with communication in the future.
I was pondering today on the subject of doing anything really really difficult and I came across a realization.
People often go after really difficult stuff in the wrong way. By difficult things I mean anything that has a high degree of complexity and a steep learning curve. This might be mastering a new skill like the piano, playing a difficult game, getting big on youtube, or starting a new business.
People often try to get results too quickly. They immediately try to focus on success instead of having fun and its not productive. They move into what I call the “WORK” phase too fast. The “WORK” phase is characterized by the following:
You are doing something “for real”. This can mean trying to make a business profitable or striking it out for real as a professional YouTuber.
You want to execute a game plan for success. Success is a major focus, and failure is going to cost you something.
Instead of jumping into the “WORK” phase, with ANYTHING with a high degree of difficulty, you need to first go through a “LEARNING” phase.
This “LEARNING” phase is characterized by a couple of things:
You have to be completely ok with failing and failing badly and over and over.
You should focus exclusively on finding what you like about the thing you are doing (having fun).
Exploring the thing, feeling out foundations should be the focus.
This is because success requires two things:
Solid fundamentals borne from experience and mastery of the fundamentals
Huge amounts of motivation due to the amount of hardship and failure you will experience.
The problem is, the “WORK” phase, when you have to perform and get results (make money off of your new business idea, perform on the piano, gain rank in the game) usually is not very fun. It is hard to build a good foundation or get motivation when you are so scared of failing.
The solution is clearly to not skip the “LEARNING” phase. Make sure you REALLY REALLY love the thing first, that you have tons and tons of fun, that you start to succeed without even trying before you start to TRY to perform when you switch over to the “WORK” phase. Maybe this means you start to make money off of the business you started, without even thinking about the business plan, or you start to rise in rank without even trying.
My visualization on the correct path for success.
The key part of the “LEARNING” phase is fun. Finding what you like about something is probably one of the most critical ingredients to success because motivation can pretty much overcome ANY obstacle.
Finding fun is both simple and difficult. Simple because all you need to do, is think about what makes you happy. Difficult because it is sometimes hard to pin down what makes you happy. You have to try many things. For me, letting yourself fail, is critical to having fun. With too much pressure, there is absolutely no room for play. I start every endeavor with the mantra, “I accept failure, it is ok/good to let myself fail”.
