Similar Posts
I Wonder If I Ever Meant Anything
Byjack
I Wonder If I Ever Meant Anything
I wonder if her words had any weight
Like sturdy old fashioned railcars laden with
Golden promise
Or if they were as ephemeral and false
Like the carcass of a shattered plate
Once with pleasing curves
And a sureness
Like that of unspoken feelings
I wonder now
If I imagined it all
And the distance was an ocean
That I mistook
For a puddle
A Penny From The Top of The Empire State Building
They say, that an oridinary penny
Dropped from the top of the empire state building
Will cut a hole through the concrete sidewalk below
The penny is in me now
Burning a hole
Through the bottom of my heart
These poems are about the fear that there was never a real connection, that I made it up in my own mind. I wonder if there was even the possibility of love, or if I was simply deluding myself.
I wonder what I wasn’t able to give her. Was I not attractive enough? Not fun enough? Did I not give her enough space?
Workpost 29: Health
Byjack
Today I woke up feeling really tired. I felt undermotivated to do the things that I want to do: take walks, write in my journal. I think I’ve also been finding it hard to retain purpose for some reason, or motivation or energy to power that purpose.
I realized this morning that a big reason as to why is simply health. I felt too much discomfort in my stomach in my head, too tired.
Today’s goals are simple:
- Clean up my apartment to a level that I could invite people over and feel good about it
- Focus on my health and wellness, drink lots of water and take naps, eat good food
- Move around a lot, I have a lot of todo list items, and I can take them different places
I’m really excited for the last one, to get outside my apartment a little more. I have more money now to do these sorts of things, so I would like to explore austin a little more, go to the library, parks, coffee shops and just have a good time while I’m working through all the different to-do list items. I have some truly excellent protocols for figuring out how to work on the move and I want to use them.
Ideas About Business From
Byjack
Takeaways:
- Get partners and make them money
- What other coaches can I refer?
- What social media experts can I refer?
- What managers/promoters/sales can I refer?
- What software companies can I refer?
- Be vulnerable
- How can I be vulnerable in AI consulting to explain exactly what I want to do?
- Want to tackle the most difficult problems
- Get hired to head the strategy and lead the initiative
- How can I be vulnerable in AI consulting to explain exactly what I want to do?
- Act like you could not be punished to be authentic
- Aim in the longterm (100 year company)
- Find your north star
- How do I make everything related to emotional honesty?
Back Home
Byjack
After almost 3 months away from home, I’m finally back and I’m reminded of the life I built here. Peaceful, open, free, and lonely. There are so many possibilities and spaciousness to fill my life with wonderful things.
Today I want to focus my time in building the life that I want to live in the next few months when I will be transitioning to a part time role in my day job in order to spend more time on coaching and building my life up.
Here are some things I want to do:
- Unpack
- Clean & Tidy
- Cut my nails
- Look into Gi Doctors
- Look into a sleep study
- Spend some time with the gf
- Cook food
- Plan my trip with my brother and sister
- Cross off any remaining things on my todo list
Basically, I want to have a clean slate for the next stage of things such as:
- Finding a part time gig where I can exercise without hurting myself
- Signing back up for jiujitsu
- Editing youtube shorts of coaching sessions
- Setting up more coaching sessions
- Working on sales plays for AI consulting
- Researching into buying a house
I went for a morning walk and I wanted to express some appreciation that I gained from my journeys.
Parents House, appreciations for:
- Health
- Cooking
- Playing games with my brother
France, appreciation for:
- Walking
- Beauty of old buildings
- Cuddling
My happiest times in my parent’s house were eating food, and spending time with my brother and parents.
My happiest times in France were spending time with my girlfriend and coming up with crazy schemes.
I was also stressed in both places. In my parent’s house, it was being watched by my parents. In France, I felt very unsafe. Unsafe in stores, on the streets, unsafe in the Airbnb (afraid to break or spill things), unsafe while working (afraid not to be productive).
I think safety is something I want to work on as France is somewhere I would like to feel more at home at.
The Perpetual Vacation
Byjack
I’m very much enamored with the idea of changing the way I work in this new world of contracting, freelancing, and entrepreneurship.
In this new world, the certainty of your career and job is no longer there – leaving both an opportunity and a problem depending on how you look at it.
The certainty that was filled by your job needs to be filled in some other way – and I propose that way is via a strong system of habits, routines, and mindsets that lead to strong health (both mental and physical) leading to high energy, happiness, and peace.
I like to think about this as the perpetual retreat – my ideal vacation or workshop where vast amounts of work is done not at the expense of one’s happiness or physical well being.
What I would love this perpetual vacation to look like:
- Ideal working conditions (lots of light, spaces, nice temperature, comfy seats and pillows, people with common values)
- Constant personal growth (always learning and progressing in areas I care about)
- Strong support system (therapists, coaches)
- Physical training (swimming, running, martial arts, weight training)
- Natural sleep when possible (wake up when I feel like it, nap when I want to)
Next questions to figure out:
- How will I balance naps with working enough hours?
- How do I balance free methods with paid assistance?
- How will I find the kind of coworking/community you would find at a retreat?
- What do I bring more learning type energy out of meetings and working on projects that aren’t personal to me?
The initial thought I have about paid assistance is that if it enables me to earn more, then its a no brainer to get it. If it simply makes my experience more vacation-like, then it must fit into a budget.