Last night I went to bed on time, got into my bedroom about 11PM and went to bed at midnight.
However, I woke up feeling abysmal, tired and my stomach was hurting. I feel that I ate a big dinner to close to bedtime. Also, maybe I’m just catching up on sleep.
This morning, as with many mornings, I did not want to go for a walk, but I did anyway. I realized that if I go for a walk because I “have to” then I feel undermotivated. But if I go for a walk to “meditate” and think, it actually is quite enjoyable and feels needed as I feel pretty shitty and need some time. I also makes it easy to not reach for my phone because I obviously don’t want a phone disturbing my quiet thoughtful meditation.
I also realized my morning singing and dance are part of my meditation and that I want to set an alarm so that I know when I need to look at my phone.
Today in terms of work, I don’t really know what to focus on. Perhaps I will finish up more things related to work so I can have fewer things on my plate and be able to focus on my two goals around AI and Art Coaching.
Goals: I really want to feel less shitty and tired and I want to come up with a direction for my podcast edit and how I can edit it in 40 minutes or less.
Here are the metrics for scoring:
Energy rejuvenation (1-5)
Confidence in solution (1-5)
Creativity (percentile)
Raw efficiency, work over energy (percentile)
My plan for my warmup is just for go for a long 15 minute walk.
Plan for work session:
UNIT ONE: Analyze video (10 min)
Might want to create a good intro
who are you and what have you done
What would help her as a writer?
Creative process from start to end
Talking about book in a way people want to read it or get greater insight
Greatest struggles as a writer
What like to write about
What do other people probably want to know about a writer?
Where come up with ideas
Interesting passages from book
UNIT TWO: Process/look at other ideas (10 min)
Going all in on Judy Blume masterclass video:
As soon as you tell me I can’t do something, I’m going to do it.
I hope that in sharing with you what I’ve learned over 50 years of writing that it will help you find your way as a writer.
As a 12-year-old, I was obsessed by the idea of growing breasts and getting my period. But there was no place that I could read about it. When I started to write, I was determined to be honest. So I’m going to share with you the practical side of writing.
There’s nothing more important than character. You’re living with these people for years. You had better feel for them. Do some exercises. Have your character write a letter to you. The first draft is pure torture for me. I hate every second of it. I have a messy mind, and my writing is a process of cleaning up the mess, then slowly making a story. I will be able to show that to you.
I got a particularly nasty review once. It got to me, and I took my typewriter, and I held it over this arroyo. And I was going to throw it in. I thought I cannot do this anymore. And then this little voice went off in my head. Wait, you’re going to let this one review stop you from writing? That’s crazy! That’s one opinion. I enjoy finding and supporting new writers, and this is a chance for me to reach more of you.
I always ask myself, why would anyone write if they didn’t have to? I mean it’s so hard. So this is for all of you who feel that you have to.
I’m Judy Blume, and this is my Master Class.
Something really special about Danuta and unique about her personality, show don’t tell.
*Beeroll on books and images from life, maybe emotional points of interview
Some sort of intro to talk about what this is about (maybe introduction)
Something about how she gets started with creative process, or something about art or creativity.
Walk through the step by step creative process
*Images or animation if possible
Talk about a challenging emotional experience
Resolution if possible
Deeper philosophical point
End
UNIT THREE: Create plan for actual editing (currently thinking one short, one long) (10 min)
UNIT ONE: Gathering clips
UNIT TWO: Gathering broll
UNIT THREE: Compositing
Bonus time: shot list
Something really special about Danuta and unique about her personality, show don’t tell. Should be humorous and controversial.
Beeroll on books and images from life, maybe emotional points of interview
To kill the other
Some sort of intro to talk about what this is about (maybe introduction)
Something about how she gets started with creative process, or something about art or creativity.
Walk through the step by step creative process
Images of process
Talk about a challenging emotional experience with resolution if possible
Deeper philosophical point
Some sort of ending
Bonus time: animation thoughts
Trying out pencil 2d!
Postmatch Review:
Overall, this was very fun and rejuvenated my love for editing and video.
Energy rejuvenation – 4 I don’t feel 100% but my energy went up TONS since I started working
Confidence in solution – 2 I feel the plan is really solid but the timing seems a little tight to get all of this done
Creativity – 70th percentile, pretty good, not revolutionary. But I don’t think most people could do this.
Raw efficiency, work over energy – 80th percentile, I think most sessions and people can’t be this productive in 40 minutes that was actually insane.
Match 2: Video Editing
Goals: I want to be excited about this video edit, feel satisfied, while boosting my confidence in pushing out videos faster with less effort
Here are the metrics for scoring:
Excitement in the edit (1-5)
Satisfaction in the edit (1-5)
Efficiency (percentile)
Fun (1-5)
How ME it is (percentile)
My plan for my warmup is to hype myself up – play music, tell friends etc. + motivation.
Clean, write on my board.
UNIT ONE: Gathering clips (10 minutes)
Something really special about Danuta and unique about her personality, show don’t tell. Should be humorous and controversial.
Beeroll on books and images from life, maybe emotional points of interview
To kill the other
Some sort of intro to talk about what this is about (maybe introduction)
Something about how she gets started with creative process, or something about art or creativity.
Walk through the step by step creative process
Images of process
Talk about a challenging emotional experience with resolution if possible
Deeper philosophical point
Some sort of ending
UNIT TWO: Gathering broll
UNIT THREE: Compositing
Postmatch Review:
Excitement in the edit – 2 I’m not that thrilled about the cut so far
Satisfaction in the edit -1 I’m not all that satisfied in the edit
Efficiency (percentile) – 60% I’m better than average but a bit slow compared to experienced video editors
Fun (1-5) – 3 I had quite a lot of fun
How ME it is (percentile) – 15% not a lot of me in it so far
Match 3: Video Editing + MEified
Goals: I was right that the last match did not finish the process of editing. It was just too much. But I did make REALLY good progress. The only problem is, it’s not ME enough. This last challenge, I want to get the edit done, and I want to inject some Jack magic into it.
Metrics for scoring:
How ME is it (percentile)
Completeness & polish (percentile)
For my warmup, I’m going to watch a bunch of my videos.
Ok the warmup didn’t work, I’m gonna play some nice music and meditate. Me is goofy, profound, soft, and emotional.
UNIT ONE: Compostiting
UNIT TWO: MEify
UNIT THREE: Finalize
Postmatch Review: It ended up taking two hours. I’m tired now!
How ME is it – 65% it does feel real, and grounded but not as me as I could make it
Completeness & polish – 65% its actually not bad at all, could use some broll and animation
Today I feel mentally and physically drained. I went to bed at 3 AM last night. I feel defeated, anxious, and sad about my relationship. I keep asking myself what it means to own a startup, what it means to be in charge. I think what it means is to be able to take a day off if you need to.
Let’s take a look at some of the different areas of my life right now:
STARTUP
I’m disappointed in both the effectiveness and efficiency with customer projects as well as the level of sales outreach.
I feel disconnected from my partner with quite a bit of friction, feeling that there is always a barrier to do what I want to do.
What might be the next steps?
Identify areas my partner is strong in to involve him more on things I need help with
Identify areas I feel strongly I should lead and take more leadership in that area
LIFE
I’m a bit stagnated on my todo list
My life systems for food and exersise are seeing big wins
Huge desire to get more sleep
What might be my next steps?
Fallout during the day only for leveling up people
Netflix and long fallout sessions at night in bed
To do list cleaning/grooming on fridays
COACHING
I’ve stopped completely
Undecided on whether to work on my own art projects or continue coaching
I want to work on my youtube channel and an art group
What might be my next steps?
Finish artist interview challenge
Outreach for potential clients
RELATIONSHIP
I feel misunderstood a lot, mismatching values, too much physical distance
My first day of meditating and brainstorming ideas for my coaching.
UNIT ONE: Focus on my craft – become a coach I would hire for 1000 per month | Create plans
Here are my initial ideas:
Do a strengths assessment (maybe something inspired by other strengths assessments such as Clifton strengths, Myers Briggs, DISC or Enneagram)
Do a values assessment (similar to strengths assessment)
Do a ikigai assessment?
Do an assessment on how well balanced in different areas of life
Create an agreement document
Look up some of the documents from my coaching with John Polestra
Agreements, assessments, and my own goals structures
Networking
Social media experts?
Network with other clients
Sales people
People who have a band?
Create a meditation shortcut
Dedicate a significant amount of time (time = results)
Act like it is forever
Live in the land of sensations
Be patient
Create method for capturing thoughts from coaching session
Breakthroughs
Million dollar issues
Emotions
Needs
Sparks of inspiration
I would want to hire the following coach
Intelligent
Warm, loving
Insightful and deep
I wonder what it takes to be that loving person. I feel that I need to enjoy life, and go on more adventures. Perhaps I need to be more accepting myself. All I know is that practicing some sort of radical acceptance and understanding towards myself and my clients, being vulnerable and loving is worth $1000 per month in itself. That takes a lot of work and I’m not entirely sure what I need to do next. I feel a bit stumped to be honest, but I suppose that is something I can meditate on more tomorrow.
I’ve been thinking more about rejection and working through some of my thoughts with it.
I want people to validate me to feel confident being myself. But validation and confidence are completely different.
Confidence is all about being ok with not getting other’s approval and validation, being ok with not being the strongest, the smartest, the most attractive. I want to find a way to let go of seeking approval from everyone. That is seriously holding me back.
The first thing I realized is that I need to be clear about what I value outside of approval.
I love solving difficult problems. I love learning, growing, and improving myself. I love creating. I love meeting new people and connecting with those people on a deep level. I love consuming art and music, writing and dance.
Being rejected doesn’t stop me from pursuing those things. In fact, people who reject me might realize my path is one they admire and want to follow.
The second thing I realized is that I can use rejection as motivation. It’s just a challenge to my ego. It makes me stronger.
I don’t want anything handed to me. The hero has the slay the dragon. I want to be the underdog, and I strive for greatness.
I feel like it was an absolute slog getting back on my blog. I felt like I had to force myself. I’m afraid what happens if I don’t force myself. I just want to ignore everything. I’m not happy right now.
I feel so overwhelmed with work and stocks.
I really wish I could go back to those days when I wrote in my blog and I felt like I was on track and going places. I feel so frustrated. I feel a strong desire to take action, but its as if I don’t have the leverage.