Protected: Workpost 3.7: Private Workpost Continued Functions

Match 1

Reflections:

1. Ended up spending all the warmup time at the gym
2. Feel amazing but felt the mental work was less exceptional
3. Felt much more healthy and sustainable
4. Found that walking every 5 minutes or deep breathing was extremely nourishing and helpful

Result Calculation:

1. How much do I think this work is worth? I feel this work was worth less maybe $100-$175. The task for getting the test data was time consuming but straightforward. The coding required much more thinking, but I didn’t get extremely far with it.
2. How difficult intellectually was this work from 1-10? Maybe a 5. Someone less intelligent could achieve this, but they would of course, need to put in a lot of effort.
3. What percentile do I place this work in terms of innovation? 35% percentile. Pretty interesting ideas about character count. Pretty clever overall.
4. Gains in communication and charisma? Not many gains, but will help me a lot with future work that will be very helpful in telling the story (looking at data).

I’m really struggling to process some feelings right now.

1. I am working through the stressful emotions that come up when I see an attractive girl
2. I am working through overwhelmed and frustrated emotions with my current project for my AI consulting
3. I am working through fear and stress I feel working on my pipelines
4. I am working through feeling of fear and anxiety around money

Let’s work through them one by one.

Attractive girl

Guilt, shame, deep desire

Center of my chest, painful clenching

Stomach clenching

I am bad

I am defective

I am ugly

I am guilty

I am rejected

I won’t ever find beauty or be happy

What if the perfect one is out there

It’s not about the perfect person who meets all your needs. It’s the relationship that meets all of your needs.

Why do I place all my hopes and dreams on a person? Because I want to be happy and I’ve only felt that in shallow relationships. I like meeting people. I like the feeling of possibility in life of variety.

Can I meet those needs in a relationship? Can I find novelty and excitement in a relationship?

Why is desire such an important need for adventures for me? Just because I’m in a relationship, doesn’t mean I can’t be attractive. But I want to find someone attractive, then for them and me to do the little romantic dance. I worry when I’m in a relationship, that’s not possible anymore.

I think honestly the fear comes from lack of needs being met in the relationship. Specifically around safety, social needs, chemistry, and inspiration. I feel if I felt if I felt safe to talk openly about people that are attractive and my partner is secure enough in herself, I felt my social needs are met, I felt strong chemistry, and inspired I would not find others attractive.

I want to switch my mindset over from comparing and wanting to meet my needs via others, and focus more on the relationship. Looking elsewhere is giving up on the relationship and if I really want to look elsewhere, I want to first end the relationship.

I don’t want to neglect my needs anymore.

I want to first meet my needs myself, then in the relationship:

1. Safety – self acceptance and kindness
2. Social needs – be in touch with moment, who people really are
3. Chemistry – spending more time on self care, self massage
4. Inspiration – reminding myself of the greatness I am capable of, of the change I can create

For the relationship, I want to continue working through needs course.

I feel fear in my chest when I think about my relationship. I feel uncertainty.

No matter what happens I will find peace and happiness because of the way I engage with the world.

My little emotional processing toolkit for meeting my needs:

1. Radical acceptance, hold myself, be curious, somatic
2. Self love, massage
3. Be in the moment, see things how they are

Chemistry

The indescribable feeling

Like the beauty of the red in the roses

Unfurled

Cutting in the corners, filling then in

This feeling of a world around you

That you carry everywhere you go

Our worlds meet

The openness to connect with me

Ok, this raises so many questions it is time to move along

Project Frustration

I feel lost, overwhelmed, and misunderstood.

What if I fail? What if its all for nothing? I don’t know what to do. It feels like so much work.

I don’t know what to do to be effective. I feel the time is running out so fast.

I need to focus on the end goal. Ignore everything else, its just a bonus.

Match 1

I feel pretty overwhelmed and unhappy to work because there are a lot of tedious work to do that I don’t feel is very fun. In this first match, I just want to get everything done so I can move on.

Criteria for success:

1. Speed (percentile)
2. Efficiency (percentile)
3. Intellect (percentile)
4. Energy (1-5)

Warmup: Cleaning + walk + meditation/breathwork

Gameplan

UNIT ONE: Set up api calls

UNIT TWO: modify prompts

UNIT THREE: testing

Postmatch analysis:

I definitely did not follow the plan, yet everything somehow got done anyway.

1. Speed – 65% I was pretty fast, knowing what I need to do and was focused. Nothing too special though.
2. Efficiency – 60% I was ok efficiency, could have coded my way to better efficiency though
3. Intellect – 60% I definitely used my intellect to speed things up but it could have been accomplished by many people.
4. Energy – 3 I feel ok, which is a win.

Some more thoughts about my brand for AI Consulting:

1. I want it to have a Youth Venture feel
   • Anything is possible
   • Warm and supportive and inspiring community
2. I want to incorporate these ethe:
   • Never compromise on your vision
   • Move humanity forwards
   • Be science fiction (either in philosophy or technology or both)
3. Inspiring thoughts:
   • Make every business like a Youth Venture business
     • Social enterprise
     • Founders feel purpose in what they do
     • Dream big, prioritize vision
   • Ship fire manual
     • AI that pushed the limit of what is possible
     • Creates our science fiction