Workpost 54: Processing More Emotions

Byjack

I feel strongly that my client will not value the work that I did.

I feel that he will say, “yea is this what you’ve been spending all your time on??? This is not what we need”. Then I will feel frustrated because it IS what we need.

I feel unseen, underappreciated, and misunderstood.

I feel uncomfortable in this room with someone else on the phone. I feel watched, judged, and disliked.

I am now realizing this is a time that I can let go of taking responsibility for others emotions. I can have faith in their abilities to process feelings themselves.

I’m feel numb buzzing fear in my heart and stomach. I feel a little trapped in my shoulders from feeling watched.

Maybe this guy is friendly, both of us clearly like to work. We are both trying to get something done. Maybe this is a warm environment after all.

Reframe: I get to work with people near me, I can get a little sense of community without having to talk

I worry about him being uncomfortable walking behind him or listening to his calls.

I feel fear in my stomach and trapped in my shoulders. I feel I am not safe.

Maybe his calls can motivate me to work on my stuff. I feel rejected, pain in my heart, fear of rejection.

Chase rejection, it will set you free.

With the feeling for my client, I feel deep painful fear in my heart and stomach. I feel a fear of rejection again.

Reframe: if I have a fear of being misunderstood, I can take this time to understand myself.

What I do is important because clarity will give a lot of direction and power to everything you do. Noone like to buy a confused product from a confused company with confused founders. Noone is passionate about a product that isn’t clear in its purpose with a company that isn’t clear on it’s purpose.

I want to be excited about this product and company. Excitement and passionate is the lever arm for work.

Inspiration is the lever arm for creativity. Purpose is the lever arm for fulfillment. Branding is the lever arm for product value. Vision is the lever arm for decision making.

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AI Gaming + Art Coaching Days 60/63

Byjack

Ok, we are in the home stretch for the first part of this business experiment.

The first big question I set out to solve is what is my lead magnet for art coaching? I know that I want to offer some free intro sessions, but it is now apparent to me that I want to do other types of lead magnets with people as well because I can’t do a free intro session with just people at the farmer’s market or at a conference (potentially at a conference but I’m not so sure).

Here are the potential lead magnets I have so far:

  1. Prompts for dream creative projects
  2. Artist masterpiece problem diagnosis
  3. Free 1 hr Masterpiece planning call to determine creative project, project timeline, and plan
  4. Free 2 hr coaching call after intro call

The second question I am pondering, is how do I make money off of the AI business?

I guess the answer to that, is that it doesn’t really matter if I make money off of it (at least initially), I just need to get good at dev because that in itself will make me money if I want to.

Workpost 9: Depression

Byjack

I’ve been feeling that I need to take a bit of a departure from what I normally write in these workposts because I need to write more about my emotions, and let tools like my todolist take over the structured work elements of my day.

Caged

I feel caged in the prison

Of my own ambition

Unable to do anything

But work

Mindless work

Though I know I love work

It gives me purpose

I can’t shake the feeling that

I’m not happy

Some free part of me is no longer free

I’m starting to feel like a major issue with how I’m approaching life right now is balancing between structure and freedom. I created so much structure to assist me in achieving all my goals, but now I have too much structure. I feel the need to relax and indulge myself a bit and I don’t know how to hold onto both. I suspect there are too many challenges that I am splitting my attention between and the fewer the better. I will seek to finish as much work today as possible so as to not split my attention as much.

I think something else I’ve been thinking about is cleaning my apartment and making it something other than just work. Perhaps that would create the spaciousness and happiness I need. Maybe I need to go outside more, not to do anything in particular, just to walk and think about things. In fact, I wonder if I would worry about having a huge number of things to do if I was able to just walk and think about them.

On second thought, I will try one more day with my multitude of goals, I will not try to finish one to free up my attention. Instead, I will try to find a way to work on all of these goals walking, or at the gym hanging, or crawling around my apartment. Maybe I can make art too! Use art to work through any challenge I have. I will also focus on cleaning up my apartment as much as possible.

AI Consulting Day 2/21

Byjack

Here is what I decided today.

In order to succeed at the project I am currently working on, I need to focus on developing my business, get me into the right headspace of possibility, positivity, fun, innovation, and purpose.

I don’t need to develop anything external (website, logo) but I do need to develop tools and processes to get me into the right headspace.

Here are some original ideas:

  1. 7 whys to understand purpose
  2. Write a science fiction story of the role of the clients company in the future, write an origin story to the company
  3. Try to tell the science fiction with the brand, website, ads
  4. Design thinking – how might we solve X problem
  5. What does level 3 look like? What does level 1 and 2 look like?
  6. What problem are we solving for humanity?
  7. What crisis are we pushing the boundaries in?
  8. Mindmap – fill the whiteboard
  9. What games can we play with our employees?
  10. How can we make it fun for our clients?

Here is the main blueprint concept I am working with:

  1. Build the future: create home base to live in
    • Brand
    • Mission
    • Vision
    • Website
  2. Recruit more people for that future: I need you!
    • Lead magnet
  3. Work together for the future: we build it together
    • Offer
  4. Make it science fiction: push it past what is now
    • Technology innovation
    • Process innovation

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Workpost 13: Inspired

Byjack

I feel tired. And yet I feel so inspired.

I ran with the ideas last night, of dance and music and I can say I feel extremely sad. Something about how much I miss this part of me. I feel sad about the weight I’ve been carrying around for so long. I feel sad because sadness acknowledges the pain in the world without shying away from it.

I watched this video last night:

I remember in art there is no right or wrong way to go about something. Just like in life. I feel we forget that a lot.

For some reason, I feel the desire to write stories. Here is a space for some freewriting:

A shark was washed onto the shore. That was the day when I asked my next door neighbor Amy to marry me. We were both 12 at the time. Amy was a quiet sort of girl, not shy, just took a while to think about things before she talked. When she did, she didn’t say much.

She looked at me up and down as if she was trying to size me up.

“So what do you say Amy?”

I wonder if this is how the shark felt. He was already dead when he was on shore, but his eyes seemed to look at you as if to say…well? What’s up?

“I don’t know,” Amy finally responded. Her fingers figeting.

“You don’t know?”

“Yea.”

“That’s ok!” I said. I was 12 and I felt invincible…

I feel sad because of how much of this I repressed within my self.

In terms of work, I feel I’ve done the experiment and I can officially say to myself, working on too many things at the same time does not work towards my strengths. I think I need to focus on one focus every day. If I get to a second one, then that’s good. Also, I can have many low effort progress toward every goal, but it can’t be the main focus.

In doing one main thing, I might be able to go to bed much sooner which is something of great concern to me.

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Workpost 34: Refocusing

Byjack

My eyes hurt. I feel tired. My face is numb and buzzing. I feel heat and buzzing up my back. I feel like I pulled an all niter when I haven’t.

Today is the time when we learn how to be successful while taking care of ourself.

This is the challenge that is brought before us today.

I’m going to be drinking lots and lots of water.

I plan on practicing some tai chi.

I want to focus my attention on the very specific work that I need to do, and just relax afterwards.

By relaxing I mean, refuse to look at my todolist until I feel desire to. Go to the gym, drink water, do art therapy.

P.S. One note I want to make is that I remembered the point of these posts, to help do the hard work to achieve what I want, to be the person I want to be. The stepping stones to greatness.

Today I Search for the Simple Answers

I walk the way of water

Of scribbles on a paper

A simple job well done

The path isn’t clear for the weary

To find your place home

I search for my slice of Eden

Workpost 79: Taking it Easy

Byjack

I slept ok last night, so I’m feeling pretty ok overall.

However, I do feel a bit drained.

I want to take it easy today. I want to play some Valorant, do some jiujitsu, and try to mark things off my to do list if possible.

Maybe I can squeeze some drawing in as well.