I realized that I have made every single video type that I said in the last blog post (Video Poem, How To Video, Challenge Video, Conversation Video) except the How To Video.
I think the reason why, is that I tend to restrict myself with only shooting myself, when in How To Videos I would actually have a lot more fun shooting it with many more elements such as animation, and stop motion.
Going on that theme, I’m going through every video type and breaking down the types of video I’m going to try in each.
Video Poem
Lots of beautiful b-roll (mostly from traveling)
Some b-roll from video personal diary entries
Voice over from a written script
Collage of elements, textures, images, text and footage
How-to Video
Less is more
Animation
Stop motion
B-roll
Talking head (straight on face shot)
Text on screen
Focus on simplicity and directly to the point
Challenge Video
Broll of challenge
Diary entries from during the challenge
Voice overs
Broll for explanations
Focus on the journey and try to convey how it felt for real
UNIT TWO: Dynamic Figure Drawing | Day 1 – Explore figure sketching techniques/simplification
I’ve been actively avoiding working on this challenge all day. I feel like it is because it is so damn overwhelming. It took so much for me to even just sit down and start working on this.
But now that I have sat down and am working on this, I want to create a mini lesson plan for today.
Since today is about exploring figure sketching techniques and simplification, I shall design a lesson plan to make it impossible not to get good at those things. As I’ve said before, lesson plans let me connect to the present moment, on one task at a time. This in turn helps me work through the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Mini syllabus for: explore figure sketching techniques/simplification
Total time: 90 minutes (est 30 min per unit, 10 min per part)
Circle head, half for nose line, half of that for mouth line
line for neck
line for spine
line for hips perpendicular to spine
line for shoulders perpendicular to spine
Head shapes
circle with lopped side for skull
cut cube for face
Sketchy woodwork for finding pose
Keep scratching until a form emerges
Erase or lighten then refine
Advanced shapes
triangle tricep
triangle forearm
teardrop thighs
diamond calf
box pecs
triangle delts
pen tip torso
Mini unit 2: Experiment
Part 1: School of thought 1
I practiced basic armature and it looked pretty bad. I think I started to improve when I moved the hips a little higher.
Part 2: School of thought 2
Things started to improve a little here. I really like the method of simple shapes for the head. I felt like I understood the geometry much better.
Part 3: School of thought 3
This is when I used the sketchy woodwork carving out a pose and when I refined it, I used the advanced shaped coupled with everything else I learned. I really really like this method. Gives me dynamic poses without losing the anatomy.
I didn’t get to Unit 3 because I feel complete and it is 2AM and I want to go to bed.
Very happy with today’s progress. I feel like I killed it at the figure drawings and I feel much more confident drawing figures.
Prompt: How good are you waiting for what you really want?
I remember the psychological test where they said that they could predict the success of children in later in life, just by how much self control they have for delayed gratification, and I wonder what child I am. Am I the type of child who grabbed the marshmallow, despite being told to wait by the researchers the minute they left the room? Probably not, when I was a child I was a stickler for the rules. But what if they gave the choice to me? What if there were no rules? Well I suppose it would feel like a cruel test, to believe internally that I would get two marshmallows if I waited long enough but one would never come.
I think now that I’m not good at waiting for what I want at all. But really what I am, is not good at avoiding distractions when I feel extreme discomfort. Am I running from discomfort? Or do I really want something and are not willing to wait for it? The answer isn’t clear to me.
My sister and I have this joke about the empress. According to a tarrot reading, my sister needs to rely more on her “inner empress”. What does this mean? Well apparently the emperor card stands for searching out and controlling the world, while the empress waits for the world to come to her.
This actually is in line with a thought process I had myself about being yourself.
Feeling free to be yourself = happiness. Feeling like you cannot be yourself is the root of ALL unhappiness. But how to be yourself is another very difficult story.
One way is a method I like to call, “Letting the empress take the wheel”.
I’ve been feeling really unhappy that I haven’t been traveling or going on adventures lately. I meditated on it a long time today to try to figure it out. The more that I thought about it, the more I realized that I feel stuck in almost every area of my life. Specifically, I don’t feel like I’m making much progress in my Valorant Challenge, and a video that I am working on I feel like I’ve hit a dead end. Today I had a dance lesson and I felt like I couldn’t grasp the techniques quick enough, and I feel so distant from the girl I love sometimes.
However, anything that came to me didn’t feel right. I thought about how I could take risks, drive somewhere, fix the feeling that I had somehow. I came to an important realization. I’m not unhappy with anything in my life. I’m at a stage where there is a degree of uncertainty I’m worried that something will go wrong, that my hopes and dreams will fall away. However, that’s not the case at all. Sometimes, all you need to do is keep going, accept and feel the feelings of uncertainty and have the courage to be curious as to see what the future will hold.
In almost every area of my life that I feel stuck, there is a promise of something really truly special. An amazing challenge on a computer game. A wonderful artistic fun video for an event I’m holding. Being able to truly express me and feel confident in my body with dance. and last but not least, a love story that will change my life. All I need to do is be brave enough to wait to see what will happen next.
Perhaps it’s not the risk or adventure that I miss when traveling. It is the feeling of taking each day, one step at a time. Always being in the moment. Allowing life to happen and unfold in front of you. Trusting my gut and intuition.
I have no idea how I’m going to do this today but I’m going to try. I feel so shitty about myself right now. Maybe I’ll add another core belief.
Core Wound 1: I’m not good enough (attractive physically and personality-wise)
Evidence to the contrary (I am good enough):
Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror I think I look quite handsome
With online dating when I took better photos, a lot of girls liked me
When I was in college, I once hit on a girl who won a beauty pageant and she gave me her number, we flirted really hard for a few days but ended when her dad found out
When I was in art class, one of my friends told me that when he asked a bunch of girls in our class whether they would choose me or this guy called Michael, they all chose me (and said the choice was obvious) even though Michael was taller (and better looking in my opinion).
A really beautiful girl in college in my art class who I liked at first invited me to her apartment for dinner when we were flirting.
Core Wound 2: My emotions are not good and push people away
Evidence to the contrary (My emotions are good and bring people closer):
Once I was mad at my mom and I wanted to stay mad at her, but instead, I told her I was sorry and that I didn’t mean it. She told me that she knew I didn’t mean it and it was so sad and sweet. Usually, my mom is really hard and unwilling to show emotion.
I cried for the first time in a very long time recently and it helped me move on from a major heartbreak. It also brought all the men in my support group closer to me.
Being vulnerable and showing my emotions is what got me into the longest-running relationship I have ever been in. Even if it has issues, the emotions really made us close.
When I complained about being upset to my friend in my art class, she seemed to feel closer to me when she comforted me
Another friend in art class told me I was able to read her emotions very strongly. I felt so much sadness from her, I changed the subject before I would start to cry.
A co-worker from work once started crying when she opened up to me about how she didn’t seem to be able to get it right with her relationships. She is usually very emotionless but I think she opened up to me because of how accepting I am of emotions.
Core Wound 3: I am a bad person (it is my fault that I hurt people)
Evidence to the contrary (I am a good person, and it’s not always my fault people get hurt):
I’m always looking to mentor new people at my work who seem to be having trouble
I found a new career path that makes sense for someone who is lost and I really care about
I always try to give up my seat on a bus for someone who is old or injured
I’m trying to make a difference with the environment at my workplace
I stayed around to help my grandmother get to the hospital and offered to give my parents thousands of dollars to help pay for her medical costs
