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Fitness Challenge 3: Sleep and Pills

Byjack

So I’ve fallen off the weight challenge a little bit due to losing my phone and having some serious trouble with routines.

But here are some updates.

In terms of appetite, I realized that stuffing yourself with food simply doesn’t work with me. I tend to feel stressed and bloated, and end up somehow losing weight as my digestion falls apart. A major tip for me that seems to work is eating enzymes. They always seems to help me a lot when breaking down food and I definitely seem to gain weight after that.

In terms of routine, I started implementing daily walks morning walks with a cup of tea and that has been working great. What hasn’t been working great is getting enough sleep and going to bed on time.

The main blocked appears to be Valorant. Today I thought about how I always focus on the problem itself as the issue but I was wondering whether or not the issue actually manifests earlier.

For example, I know in Valorant, I always blame my aim for losing gun fights, but I never think about what led up to the gunfight and how that might have put me in a unwinnable situation, or at least, a very difficult to win situation.

In terms of going to bed on time, I always blame gaming late at night. But thinking about it more deeply, I theorized that the issue actually occurs much earlier in the day, specifically during noon and afternoon. This is when I start to feel discomfort and turn to Valorant to start numbing out the pain.

Fix noon and I fix bedtime.

Today I tried taking a nap at noon and it seems to work. It’s 11 PM and while I feel pretty shitty from playing Valorant, I actually feel like it was easier for me to stop, and I may go to bed around midnight instead of 2 or 3 AM.

Today is actually the end of unit one (Baseline health: strong enough to exercise bulk and be normal health). The next unit starts tomorrow (Bulking and buildup: Gain 3 pounds of muscle).

I’m excited to see how I can start to use the rhythms I’m starting to build up, with the energy exercises and increasing diet to greater effects.

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Workspace 22: Relax

Byjack

I had a slower start to the day. I started the day on my phone, waking up a bit early because my new retainer is bothering me when I sleep.

I watched some Valorant, talked to my girlfriend, and now I have a flight in about 3 hours. I want to leave in about 2 hours. I still have to take out the trash, eat up some more food and load the dishwasher.

I did a bit of a workout and I found out a couple of things that help with regaining energy, and gathering chi:

  1. Butt-clenched breathing: sounds a bit weird but it works. Lie down, clench the sphincter muscle (what you use to hold in poop) breath in. Then relax and breathe out. Repeat.
  2. Tummy circles: put the left hand over your stomach, then your right hand over that. Make circles over your stomach in the clockwise direction. Do it lightly. Then put your hands in the same area in your back and repeat.
  3. Extremity exercises: this can be any exercise that works your extremities. For example, doing a dead hang and focusing on clenching really hard with your hands but leaving everything else relaxed, or doing heel raises with the tips of your toes super engaged with everything else relaxed.
  4. Meditation: lie down close your eyes and walk down a staircase while counting to 10. Imagine the smell of wet stone, always puts me in a meditative state really quick for some reason.

Anyway goals for today. Just relax! I want to get all the chores sorted out and just spend the rest of my time relaxing.

Core Wounds 6

Byjack

Today I want to address the core wound that I am undesirable and a bad person specifically because I want to make other people happy.

He Looked Sad

He looked sad in the sharing circle

I’m having a rough time

He said

He didn’t say much more

And I don’t think

Anyone else knew

That this was a call for help

Only me

I see that you usually are very happy

I said

I feel that you must really be going through a lot

And I want to tell you

That it will be ok

He smiled

And I felt

Happy

 

I Felt Powerful

I knew

During the meeting

He was judging me

Trying far too much

To try to speak for me

I was angry

But I bided my time

When he tried to take control

And asked if I wanted to show the customer something

I said no

Then

After the meeting

Fresh from my success

I let myself be still and quiet

Let the doubt creep into his mind

Let him understand

That I knew exactly what I was doing

That I was the one

In control

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Valorant Challenge 3: High Elo Play

Byjack

I played with my brother and his friend who are in Gold 1 and Plat 1 respectively.

I feel that a huge part of the problems I run into in playing Valorant is self doubt.

When I get worried that I am playing with people better than me, instead of learning and adapting, I freeze up and cannot think properly and play worse than I would normally:

  • I make bad decisions
  • I don’t take time to aim and spray wildly
  • I push too fast

One way I’ve handled this is lowering my expectations for myself and my game but this is still an ongoing challenge for me.

I also played with a girl who wasn’t that good at the game on my slow laggy laptop. It was an interesting experience because at first, I did really bad, but I ended up getting so many kills. She wasn’t very good so I felt the people we were matched with were in iron (who I should easily beat) but I found it hard because it’s hard for me to flick onto their head with my laggy laptop. I always find it tough to play on the little f*cker.

Two ways that I adjusted:

  1. Hold angles, stop pushing so fast
  2. Make sure I isolate as much as possible. Even if I miss, I might not die if I don’t peek out to 3 or 4 enemies.

I feel like these lessons can pass over to my regular gaming PC.

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Sova Fanart 10: Final Stretch Unit Two

Byjack

UNIT TWO: Create a unique drawing

There is one drawing that I’ve always wanted to create, and luckily, I already have a photo reference for it!

I am eager to use my skills on this new pose as well, but the intricacies of Sova’s outfit is definitely making me nervous.

Here is my mini syllabus:

UNIT ONE: Create a manikin structure drawing from life

UNIT TWO: Go into the game and use the character model to get the all the sova details and map them in.

UNIT THREE: Create a more refined drawing in preparation for final inks.

I’m too tired to talk much about what actually happened. I spent at least 12 hours on this process.

I did not have the chance to color to perfection, I also sadly left Professor Sova on the draftroom floor.

Professor Sova sketch

Things I learned:

  • It takes a much longer time than I thought to create a pleasing lineart sketch, if it doesn’t look good you probably didn’t spend enough time
  • For lineart, focus on creating forms, not just outlines. Seek to understand every little detail
  • Colors is a whole another beast that I didn’t get much time to practice or focus on. If things were different, I would have spent more time working on my color process.
  • Shadows is still a mystery to me. Need to find a process that works for me.
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Sova Fanart 8: Final Day(s)

Byjack

Today is the final day that I can devote a lot of time to the Sova competition. I might have some time tomorrow as well, but I will only have until 11:59 PM GMT which is basically 6:59 PM CST.

I want to create a syllabus just for today because I feel so overwhelmed.

UNIT ONE: Finish drawings that are close

UNIT TWO: Create a unique drawing

UNIT THREE: Pick an old drawing to revitalize

I’m worried about colors so I found this tutorial:

And I also watched a few others for linework and color:

I thinking more about this challenge. I would like to focus on very small goals working through the endgame of the challenge because anything other than very specific goals will overwhelm me.

The Attractiveness Challenge

Byjack

I’m working on discovering and developing my own attractiveness. Just to clarify:

  • Attractiveness is not about finding faults, it’s about understanding your most beautiful self and letting yourself grow into that version of yourself. It’s not about imagining other people and wishing you were like them.
  • Attractiveness is very personal. It should be how you want to look to feel like yourself and feel confident. It can match societal versions of beauty but does not have to.

I discovered an exercise that can help:

  1. Stand in front of a full-length mirror
  2. Remove as much clothing as possible, naked if possible
  3. Stand straight and adjust your body to find the most attractive posture
  4. Note any other areas that need adjusting, skin, hair etc. in order to reach peak attractiveness
  5. Once you find your baseline (just standing straight), try different poses
  6. This is PARTICULARLY good at detecting problems with posture
  7. You can take this practice into ordinary life by imagining you are naked, it’s a more natural mentality for intuitively good posture and can make you feel more open and confident

This is an interesting idea, to be naked first because I think it follows the idea that I have with learning in general. You should always start with the basics and move upward. In attractiveness, you must first find your attractive yourself naked before finding your attractive self with clothes on. Just like with any other learning technique, clothes and other accessories (like makeup) actually distract from you seeing the lowest most basic level of yourself. You are the MOST natural and yourself when naked, so it makes sense to start there.

My initial thoughts:

  • The MAIN area that is keeping me from being my most attractive self is the posture of my neck and shoulders. My head is jutted forward making my chin weak and shoulders rounded forward, making my stomach stick out.
  • I may need to cut my hair since it is too much for the features of my face and makes my features look duller.
  • I have other minor areas of posture that need to be adjusted and other grooming things I may want to do.
  • This exercise is GREAT for feeling confident in your own skin, I noticed when I focus on improving my own posture, I open up my body instead of hunching and feel more confident.
  • I don’t actually need to get more fit and muscular like I always think I do. I just need to strengthen my back and core so I can naturally maintain a better posture.

This seems to work mostly for your body though, and not with your face. My intuition tells me that the biggest tool for facial symmetry is just finding ways to relax your face but I’m pretty lost in that area.

Onwards to a better-looking future!