Similar Posts
To Love and Lose Love
A dear friend of mine who I was deeply in love with just cut ties with me. And I’m surprisingly calm.
Part of it is because I don’t think there is much left unsaid or anything I really regret about the whole friendship/relationship we had. I loved so many things about her. The way she made jokes, the sound of her voice, the patience and love she showed me at my worst. I will never forget that and I think she’s changed my life in ways she probably doesn’t even know.
I only wish she felt safe enough, trusted me enough, to tell me about how she truly felt. The worries, the emotions, the anger she was going through, I wish she trusted me enough to be open about it – so I could be as loving as she was for me and be closer today for it. In the end, she gave up on me – just like I had almost given up on her earlier in the friendship.
There are two things that still make me feel like someone is ripping apart my heart with a fork:
- The fear that I wasn’t ever really special to her. That maybe she will turn around and say and do all of the things she said and did for me to the next person down the line. Maybe she has already found that next person. Maybe that is why she left. This hurts me somewhere so deep it’s hard for me to face fully.
- The hope that she will come back. Hope is pure torture. I’m afraid it will drive me mad if I dwell on it too long.
There are more steps of grief, more growing I will need to do. But this is how I feel right now.
What Should I Do?
What Should I Do?
Every time I am afraid
I feel confused and helpless
I ask myself
What should I do?
My mom told me what I should do
My dad told me what I should do
But maybe I outgrow their voices in my head
Maybe they become possibilities
Of what I could do
Maybe what I needed from my mom and dad
When I was confused
Is the space to self soothe
A safe place to feel the confusion
So the path would become clear to me
Workpost 37: Fundamental Systems
Today I feel tired. My kidneys ache. They feel bloated and stagnated. My stomach feels slow. My head iches on the top. My eyes are dry. I feel burning inflammation up my back and spine. My skin is flaking on my face.
These past few days have felt exhausting, extremely stressful, and demoralizing. Last night, I asked myself the question, how do I get out of this.
I didn’t know the answer then, but my answer today during my walk was to take my stress seriously.
And just now, I had a realization that I have the systems developed to do extraordinary things. I just need to utilize them and follow their principals.
Systems in place:
- Daily walk to ponder questions I am stressed about
- Daily workpost to grow myself, plan for greatness
- Clean space to deal with stress, clean place = clean mind
- Meal prep strategy for healthy cheap meals with little stress – fridge containers, tacos, lettuce wraps
- Whiteboards to write strategies
- Off computer working systems (working while walking, running errands, working out, eating out)
- Todo list strategy – focus on one thing at a time, prioritize
- Clean after working hours to transition, decompress
- Crawling to get cardio in small space
- Walking backwards and tibialus for knee
- Hanging for shoulders and posture
- Working out after and before meals for better absorption, muscle growth, and recovery
- Journaling to ask myself questions at night
- Walking with no effort
I have absolutely everything I need to build a life where I can do almost anything I want, achieve anything I want.
Right now, I want to focus on two things: recovery and priming
Priming are stuff like cleaning, wiping off my whiteboards, clearing out tabs, filling markers, mealprep, todo list grooming
Recovery means lots of sleep, rest, hydration, and exercise. Specifically paying attention to anytime I want to game to see if I feel stressed or uncomfortable, taking a break when that happens.
To top off this post, I want to attach something that I want to erase from my whiteboard, but want to save forever:

Reasons Why I’m Ready
- I’ve developed very deep and powerful life theories (flow, connection) → these theories can give anyone direction in darkness, I forget them but they come back when I need them
- When faced with pain I’ve always come out stronger (ACL) → pain is the greatest teacher
- I’ve proven that I can complete hard challenges (knee, sova) → I can achieve the challenges I set my mind to
- I can solve problems few people can solve (triage, nikola) → normal rules don’t apply
- I’m deeply attuned to emotions (coaching, art, philosophy) → makes it much easier to connect with people
- I used to walk up to girls on the street → Nothing is something I can’t handle. There is nothing that I can’t ask for
- No matter how badly I fail there are people who still love me
- The point is not to get there, be productive or succeed, the point is to find a meaningful problem, problems we want to solve → we will never have no problems but we can choose which problems we want to contend with
- Happiness doesn’t come from acing the past but seizing the now → its never too late to be happyIt’s near too late to fix it with a degree in engineering and parents who don’t mess with me
- I have lots of assets and saving and a degree in engineering and parents and a sister all with money saved
Workpost 24: Feeling Good and Business Plans
Last night I was feeling some doubts about my coaching practice and I did some IFS therapy on myself to work through some of the shame and anger I feel around people rejecting my coaching or not seeing its value.
Today, I woke up feeling really tired but now I’m feeling good.
I’m working on stuff of my choosing and I really like it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my business lately and what the starving crowd and what I want to happen.
I feel like I’ve finally cracked the code a little bit about selling high-ticket clients and expensive products.
So after listening and reading Alex Hormozi for two days here is what I learned:
- Charge an obscene amount
- Use that amount to create a crazy experience
- Solve a really big problem (to create really big value)
I think what really big value I want to create with my coaching is to help people create a masterpiece.
If I was to breakdown Alex Hormozi’s formula for value:
- The dream: create an artistic masterpiece – a breakout piece (this will make you a career in this space a breakout piece, you will feel proud of yourself, you will be able to call yourself an artist proudly, this will be the best work you’ve ever created)
- The certainty: I am an artist and engineer, I have a lot of experience coaching people through mental blocks, I will give you a guarantee.
- The time: 1 year
- The effort: without giving up your mental sanity, quitting your job, or disconnecting from family
Value of this offer: 250,000+
10-15%: 25,000 – 37,500
2,083 – 3,125 per month
Three stages:
- Explore art
- Establish your routine
- Create your masterwork
Objections/fears:
- I don’t have enough time
- I don’t know what I want to do
- I have kids
- I don’t want to quit my job
- I don’t know what other people will like, what if people don’t like it
- Too much work
- Keep switching what I want to do
Workpost 45: Showing Up
Today I feel very exhausted and tired. I still feel struggles with going to jiujitsu and going to bed on time. I feel overwhelmed with where I’m going with my business.
Here are some of the things I learned over the past few days:
- I can combine the powerful techniques of connection theory and flow theory in the following way: first use connection theory to validate and understand my feelings, then use flow theory to somatically process it. I can then use connection theory to understand deeper, better and have a more grounded explanation.
- It isn’t about what you do, it is about how you show up
- It’s ok to not know where you are going, but aim your northstar and measure everything at it
Today here are the things I want to achomplish:
- Complete the three tasks I created for myself
- Have additional time to play Valorant before jiujitsu
- Spend time after jiujitsu working on my businesses
- Take a nap during the day to recover from tireness
Workpost 5: Panic Attack
I was just on the border of a panic attack when I went to go exercise.
My Head Hurts
Eyes are swimming in a pain in the back of my head
Heart beating like its a race
And no matter how fast it beats
It isn’t fast enough
To catch up
With the work I want to do
After hanging for a little bit, I decided something. I need to go back to basics. As the level of work, my ambition, my organization go up…so have my stress levels. It is beginning hard to relax, hard to feel in the moment. It feels like I’m in an endless race with no chance to catch my breath.
So here are the basics:
- The planning I’m doing in these blog posts give me a huge edge in terms of direction and thought process in a huge number of goals at the same time. However, I now need to do the opposite. The basic I have in mind is this – focus on one thing at a time. Make a todo list. Create prioritization. Make it emotionally make sense (choose what emotionally feels important to focus on first, not logically). Clear all distractions and focus on one thing.
- Use the taoist approach to achieve fulfillment. Work until you feel empty.
- Use the coaching mindset…let the world come to you, have patience.
I also realized I did not work on the product research goal.
So here it is:
Goal: Create free products in 1 month | UNIT ONE: Complete research | Part 1 Transcribe and think, what is the million dollar problem or breakthrough?
- One interview per day
To Love and Lose Love
A dear friend of mine who I was deeply in love with just cut ties with me. And I’m surprisingly calm.
Part of it is because I don’t think there is much left unsaid or anything I really regret about the whole friendship/relationship we had. I loved so many things about her. The way she made jokes, the sound of her voice, the patience and love she showed me at my worst. I will never forget that and I think she’s changed my life in ways she probably doesn’t even know.
I only wish she felt safe enough, trusted me enough, to tell me about how she truly felt. The worries, the emotions, the anger she was going through, I wish she trusted me enough to be open about it – so I could be as loving as she was for me and be closer today for it. In the end, she gave up on me – just like I had almost given up on her earlier in the friendship.
There are two things that still make me feel like someone is ripping apart my heart with a fork:
- The fear that I wasn’t ever really special to her. That maybe she will turn around and say and do all of the things she said and did for me to the next person down the line. Maybe she has already found that next person. Maybe that is why she left. This hurts me somewhere so deep it’s hard for me to face fully.
- The hope that she will come back. Hope is pure torture. I’m afraid it will drive me mad if I dwell on it too long.
There are more steps of grief, more growing I will need to do. But this is how I feel right now.
What Should I Do?
What Should I Do?
Every time I am afraid
I feel confused and helpless
I ask myself
What should I do?
My mom told me what I should do
My dad told me what I should do
But maybe I outgrow their voices in my head
Maybe they become possibilities
Of what I could do
Maybe what I needed from my mom and dad
When I was confused
Is the space to self soothe
A safe place to feel the confusion
So the path would become clear to me
Workpost 37: Fundamental Systems
Today I feel tired. My kidneys ache. They feel bloated and stagnated. My stomach feels slow. My head iches on the top. My eyes are dry. I feel burning inflammation up my back and spine. My skin is flaking on my face.
These past few days have felt exhausting, extremely stressful, and demoralizing. Last night, I asked myself the question, how do I get out of this.
I didn’t know the answer then, but my answer today during my walk was to take my stress seriously.
And just now, I had a realization that I have the systems developed to do extraordinary things. I just need to utilize them and follow their principals.
Systems in place:
- Daily walk to ponder questions I am stressed about
- Daily workpost to grow myself, plan for greatness
- Clean space to deal with stress, clean place = clean mind
- Meal prep strategy for healthy cheap meals with little stress – fridge containers, tacos, lettuce wraps
- Whiteboards to write strategies
- Off computer working systems (working while walking, running errands, working out, eating out)
- Todo list strategy – focus on one thing at a time, prioritize
- Clean after working hours to transition, decompress
- Crawling to get cardio in small space
- Walking backwards and tibialus for knee
- Hanging for shoulders and posture
- Working out after and before meals for better absorption, muscle growth, and recovery
- Journaling to ask myself questions at night
- Walking with no effort
I have absolutely everything I need to build a life where I can do almost anything I want, achieve anything I want.
Right now, I want to focus on two things: recovery and priming
Priming are stuff like cleaning, wiping off my whiteboards, clearing out tabs, filling markers, mealprep, todo list grooming
Recovery means lots of sleep, rest, hydration, and exercise. Specifically paying attention to anytime I want to game to see if I feel stressed or uncomfortable, taking a break when that happens.
To top off this post, I want to attach something that I want to erase from my whiteboard, but want to save forever:

Reasons Why I’m Ready
- I’ve developed very deep and powerful life theories (flow, connection) → these theories can give anyone direction in darkness, I forget them but they come back when I need them
- When faced with pain I’ve always come out stronger (ACL) → pain is the greatest teacher
- I’ve proven that I can complete hard challenges (knee, sova) → I can achieve the challenges I set my mind to
- I can solve problems few people can solve (triage, nikola) → normal rules don’t apply
- I’m deeply attuned to emotions (coaching, art, philosophy) → makes it much easier to connect with people
- I used to walk up to girls on the street → Nothing is something I can’t handle. There is nothing that I can’t ask for
- No matter how badly I fail there are people who still love me
- The point is not to get there, be productive or succeed, the point is to find a meaningful problem, problems we want to solve → we will never have no problems but we can choose which problems we want to contend with
- Happiness doesn’t come from acing the past but seizing the now → its never too late to be happyIt’s near too late to fix it with a degree in engineering and parents who don’t mess with me
- I have lots of assets and saving and a degree in engineering and parents and a sister all with money saved
Workpost 24: Feeling Good and Business Plans
Last night I was feeling some doubts about my coaching practice and I did some IFS therapy on myself to work through some of the shame and anger I feel around people rejecting my coaching or not seeing its value.
Today, I woke up feeling really tired but now I’m feeling good.
I’m working on stuff of my choosing and I really like it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my business lately and what the starving crowd and what I want to happen.
I feel like I’ve finally cracked the code a little bit about selling high-ticket clients and expensive products.
So after listening and reading Alex Hormozi for two days here is what I learned:
- Charge an obscene amount
- Use that amount to create a crazy experience
- Solve a really big problem (to create really big value)
I think what really big value I want to create with my coaching is to help people create a masterpiece.
If I was to breakdown Alex Hormozi’s formula for value:
- The dream: create an artistic masterpiece – a breakout piece (this will make you a career in this space a breakout piece, you will feel proud of yourself, you will be able to call yourself an artist proudly, this will be the best work you’ve ever created)
- The certainty: I am an artist and engineer, I have a lot of experience coaching people through mental blocks, I will give you a guarantee.
- The time: 1 year
- The effort: without giving up your mental sanity, quitting your job, or disconnecting from family
Value of this offer: 250,000+
10-15%: 25,000 – 37,500
2,083 – 3,125 per month
Three stages:
- Explore art
- Establish your routine
- Create your masterwork
Objections/fears:
- I don’t have enough time
- I don’t know what I want to do
- I have kids
- I don’t want to quit my job
- I don’t know what other people will like, what if people don’t like it
- Too much work
- Keep switching what I want to do
Workpost 45: Showing Up
Today I feel very exhausted and tired. I still feel struggles with going to jiujitsu and going to bed on time. I feel overwhelmed with where I’m going with my business.
Here are some of the things I learned over the past few days:
- I can combine the powerful techniques of connection theory and flow theory in the following way: first use connection theory to validate and understand my feelings, then use flow theory to somatically process it. I can then use connection theory to understand deeper, better and have a more grounded explanation.
- It isn’t about what you do, it is about how you show up
- It’s ok to not know where you are going, but aim your northstar and measure everything at it
Today here are the things I want to achomplish:
- Complete the three tasks I created for myself
- Have additional time to play Valorant before jiujitsu
- Spend time after jiujitsu working on my businesses
- Take a nap during the day to recover from tireness
Workpost 5: Panic Attack
I was just on the border of a panic attack when I went to go exercise.
My Head Hurts
Eyes are swimming in a pain in the back of my head
Heart beating like its a race
And no matter how fast it beats
It isn’t fast enough
To catch up
With the work I want to do
After hanging for a little bit, I decided something. I need to go back to basics. As the level of work, my ambition, my organization go up…so have my stress levels. It is beginning hard to relax, hard to feel in the moment. It feels like I’m in an endless race with no chance to catch my breath.
So here are the basics:
- The planning I’m doing in these blog posts give me a huge edge in terms of direction and thought process in a huge number of goals at the same time. However, I now need to do the opposite. The basic I have in mind is this – focus on one thing at a time. Make a todo list. Create prioritization. Make it emotionally make sense (choose what emotionally feels important to focus on first, not logically). Clear all distractions and focus on one thing.
- Use the taoist approach to achieve fulfillment. Work until you feel empty.
- Use the coaching mindset…let the world come to you, have patience.
I also realized I did not work on the product research goal.
So here it is:
Goal: Create free products in 1 month | UNIT ONE: Complete research | Part 1 Transcribe and think, what is the million dollar problem or breakthrough?
- One interview per day
To Love and Lose Love
A dear friend of mine who I was deeply in love with just cut ties with me. And I’m surprisingly calm.
Part of it is because I don’t think there is much left unsaid or anything I really regret about the whole friendship/relationship we had. I loved so many things about her. The way she made jokes, the sound of her voice, the patience and love she showed me at my worst. I will never forget that and I think she’s changed my life in ways she probably doesn’t even know.
I only wish she felt safe enough, trusted me enough, to tell me about how she truly felt. The worries, the emotions, the anger she was going through, I wish she trusted me enough to be open about it – so I could be as loving as she was for me and be closer today for it. In the end, she gave up on me – just like I had almost given up on her earlier in the friendship.
There are two things that still make me feel like someone is ripping apart my heart with a fork:
- The fear that I wasn’t ever really special to her. That maybe she will turn around and say and do all of the things she said and did for me to the next person down the line. Maybe she has already found that next person. Maybe that is why she left. This hurts me somewhere so deep it’s hard for me to face fully.
- The hope that she will come back. Hope is pure torture. I’m afraid it will drive me mad if I dwell on it too long.
There are more steps of grief, more growing I will need to do. But this is how I feel right now.
What Should I Do?
What Should I Do?
Every time I am afraid
I feel confused and helpless
I ask myself
What should I do?
My mom told me what I should do
My dad told me what I should do
But maybe I outgrow their voices in my head
Maybe they become possibilities
Of what I could do
Maybe what I needed from my mom and dad
When I was confused
Is the space to self soothe
A safe place to feel the confusion
So the path would become clear to me
Workpost 37: Fundamental Systems
Today I feel tired. My kidneys ache. They feel bloated and stagnated. My stomach feels slow. My head iches on the top. My eyes are dry. I feel burning inflammation up my back and spine. My skin is flaking on my face.
These past few days have felt exhausting, extremely stressful, and demoralizing. Last night, I asked myself the question, how do I get out of this.
I didn’t know the answer then, but my answer today during my walk was to take my stress seriously.
And just now, I had a realization that I have the systems developed to do extraordinary things. I just need to utilize them and follow their principals.
Systems in place:
- Daily walk to ponder questions I am stressed about
- Daily workpost to grow myself, plan for greatness
- Clean space to deal with stress, clean place = clean mind
- Meal prep strategy for healthy cheap meals with little stress – fridge containers, tacos, lettuce wraps
- Whiteboards to write strategies
- Off computer working systems (working while walking, running errands, working out, eating out)
- Todo list strategy – focus on one thing at a time, prioritize
- Clean after working hours to transition, decompress
- Crawling to get cardio in small space
- Walking backwards and tibialus for knee
- Hanging for shoulders and posture
- Working out after and before meals for better absorption, muscle growth, and recovery
- Journaling to ask myself questions at night
- Walking with no effort
I have absolutely everything I need to build a life where I can do almost anything I want, achieve anything I want.
Right now, I want to focus on two things: recovery and priming
Priming are stuff like cleaning, wiping off my whiteboards, clearing out tabs, filling markers, mealprep, todo list grooming
Recovery means lots of sleep, rest, hydration, and exercise. Specifically paying attention to anytime I want to game to see if I feel stressed or uncomfortable, taking a break when that happens.
To top off this post, I want to attach something that I want to erase from my whiteboard, but want to save forever:

Reasons Why I’m Ready
- I’ve developed very deep and powerful life theories (flow, connection) → these theories can give anyone direction in darkness, I forget them but they come back when I need them
- When faced with pain I’ve always come out stronger (ACL) → pain is the greatest teacher
- I’ve proven that I can complete hard challenges (knee, sova) → I can achieve the challenges I set my mind to
- I can solve problems few people can solve (triage, nikola) → normal rules don’t apply
- I’m deeply attuned to emotions (coaching, art, philosophy) → makes it much easier to connect with people
- I used to walk up to girls on the street → Nothing is something I can’t handle. There is nothing that I can’t ask for
- No matter how badly I fail there are people who still love me
- The point is not to get there, be productive or succeed, the point is to find a meaningful problem, problems we want to solve → we will never have no problems but we can choose which problems we want to contend with
- Happiness doesn’t come from acing the past but seizing the now → its never too late to be happyIt’s near too late to fix it with a degree in engineering and parents who don’t mess with me
- I have lots of assets and saving and a degree in engineering and parents and a sister all with money saved
Workpost 24: Feeling Good and Business Plans
Last night I was feeling some doubts about my coaching practice and I did some IFS therapy on myself to work through some of the shame and anger I feel around people rejecting my coaching or not seeing its value.
Today, I woke up feeling really tired but now I’m feeling good.
I’m working on stuff of my choosing and I really like it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my business lately and what the starving crowd and what I want to happen.
I feel like I’ve finally cracked the code a little bit about selling high-ticket clients and expensive products.
So after listening and reading Alex Hormozi for two days here is what I learned:
- Charge an obscene amount
- Use that amount to create a crazy experience
- Solve a really big problem (to create really big value)
I think what really big value I want to create with my coaching is to help people create a masterpiece.
If I was to breakdown Alex Hormozi’s formula for value:
- The dream: create an artistic masterpiece – a breakout piece (this will make you a career in this space a breakout piece, you will feel proud of yourself, you will be able to call yourself an artist proudly, this will be the best work you’ve ever created)
- The certainty: I am an artist and engineer, I have a lot of experience coaching people through mental blocks, I will give you a guarantee.
- The time: 1 year
- The effort: without giving up your mental sanity, quitting your job, or disconnecting from family
Value of this offer: 250,000+
10-15%: 25,000 – 37,500
2,083 – 3,125 per month
Three stages:
- Explore art
- Establish your routine
- Create your masterwork
Objections/fears:
- I don’t have enough time
- I don’t know what I want to do
- I have kids
- I don’t want to quit my job
- I don’t know what other people will like, what if people don’t like it
- Too much work
- Keep switching what I want to do
Workpost 45: Showing Up
Today I feel very exhausted and tired. I still feel struggles with going to jiujitsu and going to bed on time. I feel overwhelmed with where I’m going with my business.
Here are some of the things I learned over the past few days:
- I can combine the powerful techniques of connection theory and flow theory in the following way: first use connection theory to validate and understand my feelings, then use flow theory to somatically process it. I can then use connection theory to understand deeper, better and have a more grounded explanation.
- It isn’t about what you do, it is about how you show up
- It’s ok to not know where you are going, but aim your northstar and measure everything at it
Today here are the things I want to achomplish:
- Complete the three tasks I created for myself
- Have additional time to play Valorant before jiujitsu
- Spend time after jiujitsu working on my businesses
- Take a nap during the day to recover from tireness
Workpost 5: Panic Attack
I was just on the border of a panic attack when I went to go exercise.
My Head Hurts
Eyes are swimming in a pain in the back of my head
Heart beating like its a race
And no matter how fast it beats
It isn’t fast enough
To catch up
With the work I want to do
After hanging for a little bit, I decided something. I need to go back to basics. As the level of work, my ambition, my organization go up…so have my stress levels. It is beginning hard to relax, hard to feel in the moment. It feels like I’m in an endless race with no chance to catch my breath.
So here are the basics:
- The planning I’m doing in these blog posts give me a huge edge in terms of direction and thought process in a huge number of goals at the same time. However, I now need to do the opposite. The basic I have in mind is this – focus on one thing at a time. Make a todo list. Create prioritization. Make it emotionally make sense (choose what emotionally feels important to focus on first, not logically). Clear all distractions and focus on one thing.
- Use the taoist approach to achieve fulfillment. Work until you feel empty.
- Use the coaching mindset…let the world come to you, have patience.
I also realized I did not work on the product research goal.
So here it is:
Goal: Create free products in 1 month | UNIT ONE: Complete research | Part 1 Transcribe and think, what is the million dollar problem or breakthrough?
- One interview per day