Workpost 68: More Processing

Byjack

Today I feel the need to process more emotions. I got some leads, but I’m afraid to call them. I don’t want to call them at all.

It feels boring, annoying, and painful.

I’m afraid if I call these people that I’m going to be sent to voicemail, or pressured to answer questions I don’t know the answer to. I’m afraid I will say something wrong that will mess it up, or that none of these leads are real.

I feel this burning numbing fear in center and left and right of my chest.

It feels like a plastic cage like a kids toy. It hurts like swallowing a hard candy that is a little too big.

Everyone I’m calling are just people like me.

But what if they don’t want to talk to me. What if they want me to leave them alone? Why do people sign up for things and then decide they don’t want to talk about them? What if I need to act excited and interested but I’m not?

The point is to vet these people, they might not want to work with you but you might not want to work with them on the same token.

UPDATE: I ended up calling and securing one meeting!

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Workpost 61: Timelines

Byjack

I’m feeling a lot of pressure for not making a huge amount of progress in finishing my funnels and progress in my businesses as a whole. I feel that I need to get much more productive in general and I’m not getting there currently in the working environments I’m in. I perhaps need to spend more time out of the apartment working out and in working spaces that help me focus.

I made a change today by going to one of those working spaces.

Let me process the emotions, then look at the dates strategically.

My tailbone and my neck are in tension and sore, probably from running a 5k yesterday.

I feel my heart is gripped in a vice when I think of the time running out.

I feel scared. I feel a bit of the trapped feeling as well.

I almost feel this hollowness in my heart. Almost the same feeling as feeling unloved and misunderstood.

I’m remembering what I felt last night:

  • I need to focus on the end goal (for my art coaching its helping people who want to pursue this beautiful masterpiece and feel so alone on this journey)
  • Those people need me, there is some urgency to get it done immediately
  • I want to inspire my own artistic journey
  • I just need to create and let the art be what it wants to be

I also saw this amazing video:

It makes me want to do YouTube again, but I feel overwhelmed.

Now that I think of it, it may be a better fit for my AI consulting business. That is a space that is likely very hot, gets a lot of clicks and views and I don’t have a clear idea or mission on what I want to do.

Now let’s look at timelines:

Art Coaching

Start: 7/12 | End: 9/12 | 63 days total

What needs to be done for the funnel:

Payment/banking systems
How much to pay myself vs save for taxes vs reinvest into business
Website
Business cards
Calendly
Client contracts
Mailing lists/CRM

AI Consulting

Start: 7/12 | End: 9/12 | 63 days total

What needs to be done for the funnel:

  1. Payment/banking systems
  2. How much to pay myself vs save for taxes vs reinvest into business
  3. Website
  4. Business cards
  5. Calendly
  6. Client contracts
  7. Mailing lists/CRM
  8. Branding
  9. New contract for funnel

So we are day 26/63 meaning we are 41% through the period, we have 37 days left

Workpost 69: Getting More Work Done

Byjack

One of the most recent realizations is that Valorant is meeting my need for significance maybe in a narcissistic way.

One of the ways that I can fulfill my needs and move on to getting more work done is by reassuring myself that even if I’m not getting better, even if I don’t win I am worthy, I am ok.

Today I really want to focus on getting all the contract work done but also visiting non-profits and getting more information about them.

If I can, I also want to be in good shape for jiujitsu and will probably need a bit of napping to get there.

Something else I was thinking about watching some podcasts about fighters today, when I go to jiujitsu, I go to learn and be really good at grappling and self-defense, but that’s not really my focus right now.

I’m really focused on my businesses, and in order to stay focused, I want to focus everything in my life on that.

This means jiujitsu is less about being good at grappling or fighting, but much more about being healthy, relieving stress, and getting a break from the computer.

I’m feeling kinda shitty right now trying to get past the lack of sleep I got today.

What I’m going to start out with is going to a nice place to work and get the basics done, then try to go to the gym and take a nap when I can relax my body enough.

After that, I’ll consider creating a focus for the day on what I want to complete.

Today I would like to work on my personal website.

I want it to reflect all the things that it represents for me:

  1. My workspace – messy creative space for me to work through things, sort of like akimbo
  2. A place that mirrors my coaching
    • Welcome to my house
    • Be patient
    • Take risks
    • Be ok with silence
  3. A workspace – sort of like profit in peace
  4. My way to be myself in a public way
    • If people stay, it helps me, if people leave, it helps me
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Workpost 33: At the End of My Rope

Byjack

I feel pretty awful. I’ve lost focus in work. I feel overwhelmed and unhappy. Every day I stay up late at night. The only solace I find is in games. Everything that I wanted to do now feels like things I have to do.

I struggle to regain the mentality that I use for these workposts.

I guess I feel extremely tired and depressed.

There are a couple of things that filter through the haze that I’m feeling:

  1. I want to find a way to post on LinkedIn again. That is the one thing I want to work on achieving.
  2. This new idea in taichi, and breathwork. To receive what is coming instead of taking. To allow things to come to me. To receive breath instead of taking it. To receive emotions, purpose, and understanding, instead of creating it. I feel this is the essence of patience.
  3. To be curious. I want to do more IFS therapy, but I feel overwhelmed by it. Too much thinking about thinking that is too cerebral, non-intuitive, and downright frustrating. However, we can take the core concept of IFS – the concept of creativity. Ask how do I feel? What do I need? Why do I feel that way.

It’s not been all lost I suppose. There was something I worked through recently – two people that I am jealous of. One who went to Harvard and ended up starting a successful youtube channel, and another who worked on my software company before leaving and getting big on youtube for his music, and is now a famous musician.

In speaking with my friend Edgar about this I came up with the following concepts to remind myself in times of jealousy:

  1. How do I want to succeed my way? The issue with a lot of these people is that they got successful in things that I want to succeed in, but not in the way that I want to succeed. There is great value in succeed in the way I want to succeed.
  2. Hardship creates growth. Success isn’t the end goal, success just leads to creating more challenges for yourself to work through. The ones who go down the harder path to begin with will still succeed but will be more complete when they do.
  3. Is my goal to succeed a little in the short term? Or is the goal much bigger? This is the concept that if I want to gain one rank in Valorant, the outcome of a match matters (because my elo will be impacted directly). If my goal is to get to radiant (the highest rank), one loss in the scale of a huge journey is not significant.

Finally, I’ve put off doing a LinkedIn post for far too long.

Let’s tackle the steps:

  1. Answer a list of questions in a letter to my girlfriend.
  2. Come up with a research plan and timebox it.
  3. Timebox getting everything “on the canvas”, move very fast, get messy, take big risks, keep going until it coalesces into what the art wants to be
  4. Break to do other things, view work from different angles
  5. Put on strategic hat to finish

Questions to ask myself (step 1):

  1. What my vision for the ideal post?
  2. What am I worried about and feel uncomfortable by?
  3. What do I want to learn when creating this post?

Strategic Hat

  • See the work as something in itself, not just as a manifestation of my ideas
  • Put on creative hat, check: is there some feeling here, is there some beauty, fun?
  • Put on producer hat, check: if this was a work created by one of my clients, how would I promote it? If it was done by my brother?

*One Big Thing I Noticed*

It’s a lot easier for me to be motivated to workout than to work. Plan workout sessions for the entire day and bring work to do during those times. If no work gets done, I am still being productive and will be healthier, guaranteeing better work in the future.

Art Coaching Day 2/21

Byjack

I also figured out why I have troubling making a coaching website and why it felt so wrong. It had pricing and generic things on it.

I want my funnel to be an homage to my mission and vision, which is to foster the creation of more artistic masterpieces. So I want my website to have a feeling of magic, of the way Harry Potter felt when he was got his invitation letter to the Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. I want to remind myself of the feeling of reading children’s books. I want the website to be an homage to dreams, creating worlds, and fantasy.

I want my business cards to feel like a work of art, like a magical invitation.

Today I accomplished the following things:

  1. Bought masterpiececoaching.org
  2. Ordered samples of premium business card samples from Jukebox

Tomorrow I really want to design and put together my website asap using a template on wordpress.